NOTE: This podcast was transcribed by an AI tool. Please forgive any typos or errors. Regulation tools === [00:00:00] Cara: Welcome to today's episode. This is all about self regulation tools. And I think this is a really important podcast episode, especially because how many of these tools have not only helped me, they've helped me be a better parents and that my kids are really the inspiration for this episode. They both have benefited from it, but I am going to dedicate this episode for my son, Thomas. [00:00:25] Cara: I love the energy he brings. And I love that he's been able to take these tools and really be able to get to a point where he can. Allow his emotions to come through. Regulate them in a way that feels healthier. And that he can kind of come out on the other side. And I'll just say that in the sense of, it's not always that easy, it's not always that perfect as a parents. [00:00:49] As me going through an emotional regulation, but I think if we can just honor ourselves when we're going through these emotional waves. Find a tool to help us through it. We can all kind of come out on the other [00:01:00] side kind of better and learn from what we learned in that moment and maybe how to go forward with it. I hope you enjoy this episode. I think that no matter where you're at in life, there will be something in here that will benefit you. And it's having that discernment of what you need and being able to listen within. And so something speaking to you, give it a shot , and leave room for something to change. [00:01:24] Along the way, because we are meant to grow and need different tools to support us through life. Some of these things. I've tried. Some of them, I'm just bringing to light and talking about it. If you have any other suggestions, I would love if you email me, I love talking about these topics. Or even if you are a healing practitioner and feels deeply about something that I didn't suggest I'd love to hear from you. I think this is going to be a very insightful episode and I will see you on the other side. [00:01:50] Cara: Welcome to floductivity, a place to inspire and empower beings to embrace self-love and self-development for an achievable balance of [00:02:00] productivity. I share different ways to come back to your intuition through spirituality, self care, human design, cycle planning, wellness, and everything in between. [00:02:09] Cara: Thank you so much for joining me this week. If this is your first time. Welcome. And if you've been here with me before. Thank you so much for coming back. I'm so excited to join you in this journey. As we learn together. [00:02:23] Welcome to the episode about self-regulation tools. so with this one being dedicated to my son, Thomas, I wanted to start with breath work. And while that was not my first tool, I tried, it is the one that I feel like has the biggest. Um, impact on me and my children. just a few tips in breath work. [00:02:42] One it's. Making sure that you're in a safe, place before you try anything. And I'm not going through any breathwork practices. Well, I have done a lot of breath work. I understand the concepts. I am not a trained facilitator, so I'm not going to be walking you through an exercise. But I am going to tell you some tips that I use [00:03:00] with my kids that have really helped. [00:03:01] one of them is if you're on YouTube with me is having your hands open, like a high five. And I tell my son to smell the flowers and we're going to pretend our fingers are flowers. And we're going to breathe in. [00:03:14] And then I tell him that my fingers are candles and he needs to blow them out. And so then he will blow them out. And so that gives him to be able to focus on something right in front of him. And. Instead of that overwhelmed emotion. And so it brings the focus in, on my hands. Another one that works really great with kids is kind of breathe in. [00:03:36] Out when you go down, breathe in up to the top of the finger, out, down to the bottom of the finger. Up to the top of the finger down. And so you're ultimately tracing your hands with your finger. And when you go up, you breathe in and when you go down, you breathe out. And so those are just two little simple breathing tricks to get them focused on something that they have [00:04:00] control over. [00:04:00] ' cause a lot of times when they're getting angry or mad or sad, they're feeling out of control. And so giving them a tool to give them the focus and knowing that they have the control to do that has been super helpful. [00:04:13] Now getting into the deeper ideas of breath work. I actually use, um, an app that I am a part of it is called awaken breath work. And so I'm a part of, um, Their community. They have a great app. That's really easy to work through. There are breathwork, practitioners that you can probably find on YouTube for free options. And so breath work is something that I dabbled in for free for a very long time. And then I had the opportunity to be a part of. [00:04:41] Not only a breath work, community, but other ones and I'll get into them in a minute. But, it was a way that I could have holistically a few different, um, support systems. And so there was a bundle that I was able to be a part of. when I saw that opportunity, I knew it was the right thing and it's what I needed in my life now to get a better [00:05:00] understanding of breathwork. [00:05:00] And so it's understanding that there's really two different types of breathwork. I am not someone who is well versed in this, but the two that I am aware of is one where you kind of slow down and you bring your nervous system down. And then there's another type of breathwork that kind of ramps up and gets your energetic flow going. [00:05:18] And so knowing that there's actually a few different types of breath work that can support you in different scenarios. [00:05:25] The benefits of. Breathwork there's a lot. knowing that if you're someone that can't meditate. I would highly recommend breathwork because it gives you something to. Specifically focus on. And so it's knowing that it can help with an anti-inflammatory effect. It can help elevate your mood. , When you begin this relationship with breath work, you can have better sleep and more deep sleep. There is a reduction of PTSD and feelings of trauma. It actually helps move those things that are stuck in your body when you get that [00:06:00] momentum, that energetic momentum going. It can help. better your immune system. It can release stress hormones from your body. [00:06:07] And it can even help with respiratory function. [00:06:10] it can help with mood disorders like depression and anxiety, . It can create, um, an uptick in mental focus. It can decrease addictive behaviors. And it can bring a better outlook on life because you're not really like holding everything in, you're giving a release from these things that you're holding in your body. And so I wanted to bring breath work up first because I think a lot of people go to meditation and journaling. [00:06:36] And sometimes I feel like when someone has an overactive mind, they have a hard thing with those, with those ideas. And so breath work, I think is that. You know, big piece for someone who has a hard time focusing on meditation. [00:06:49] The reason I got into breathwork so much was because I always had a deviated septum and I decided this was the year to get it fixed. And I'm. Thoroughly thankful I did.[00:07:00] My breathing was terrible. I was always getting sick. And there was so many aspects to it. And so ultimately before, like I would. [00:07:07] Breathe in this nasty old collapse, I just didn't have the air flow for it. And so in the process of going through like the steps of the surgery and stuff, I was reading a book that was for breath work and just like reading the mental effects, the gut affects all these things on when our breathing isn't. Right. And so I was just thinking like, [00:07:27] I've always hated being a mouth breather. It's been one of my least favorite attributes of myself. And that was like a big drive for me to get the surgery. And like, however someone feels about that. Fine. But like, I could feel a difference almost immediately. And so I'm grateful that I did that. It's been. [00:07:46] Something that I've had to learn and teach myself how to breathe normally. I actually do, I've started taping my mouth at nights because I have so long, never been able to breathe out of my nose at [00:08:00] night. my sleep has changed dramatically since my surgery and then retraining my breathing. And so I will put that book in the show notes. I can't remember it offhand now, but if you're wanting to know more about why breath is important, I highly recommend this book because. [00:08:14] I waited to read it until I had my surgery scheduled because I knew by the end of it, I was going to be, really into the practice of learning how to breathe better. I'm still learning. I'm still struggling. But I'm getting there. It's a practice. [00:08:28] So the next thing I wanted to talk about is meditation. I'm obviously a big, fan of meditation. I have meditations on my podcast. If you haven't checked about check them out. I a lot of times just listen to music. But when I first started, I needed something guiding me through the steps because I had a hard time focusing. [00:08:47] And I think when someone explained it this way, and I wish I could give credit to someone, but I don't know who, but it's like, Think of your thoughts as a cloud and that they're going to come in. But your goal is to let them pass by and [00:09:00] let them go, not hold on to why did this thought come through? Why I'm going to hold onto it. [00:09:04] It's the ability to let your thoughts come forth, but then to let them kind of move on and move to the next thing. And then there will be another thought and it's. Not getting tied to the thoughts. It's kind of letting them kind of pop in and slide out and pop in and slide out. the benefits of meditation it's a great way to manage stress. It's increasing in self-awareness. [00:09:27] It's helping being focused on the present. . [00:09:31] The benefits for me, I was able to see situations I didn't think were possible in my life. That I would see in my meditations and then realize when I see it, it means it's a possibility. And so, so many times where I see something that's possible, I get the confirmation in my body that it's possible for me. And that it gives me the go-ahead to work towards it. [00:09:53] And so meditation has hands down, been the best tool for me to really work towards my [00:10:00] dreams and goals. Because when I see something in my meditation, I have proof that those things have come forth. And so when you see this momentum, you're like, why wouldn't I, why wouldn't I sit with myself and be able to see the possibilities of this future and building. And then when I sit and spend this time with myself, [00:10:17] I get the answers on how to take action on that. And that is. I feel like a superpower. the way that it comes through through, through for me the most is meditation. other benefits of meditation have been able to kind of like. I acknowledge my emotional waves, sit with them and. Process them and then let them go. So I'm able to kind of let go. [00:10:40] have emotional upswings quicker when I meditate and give myself space for that. It also helps me to be more present and have patience and more tolerance. And it kind of lets all that kind of come in and come out. It's a, it's a hard skill and I go in waves of using it, but I am. In the [00:11:00] place that I know the universe will communicate with me when it's time for me to have more time in meditation. Because when I do it's really powerful. And no, you're not going to get answers every time you sit in meditation. If you did, it would be overwhelming, but it's knowing that you have to keep practicing for those, that insight to come. And when it's meant for you to have it will show up. [00:11:21] It's a beautiful practice when you have it daily. I can't say I'm in that space now, but meditation has been the single handle. Most thing that has probably improved. My, um, health and my regulation of my emotions. [00:11:36] As for resources for meditation. I have other meditations on my podcast. If there's a specific meditation that you would love to hear. I would love. If you emailed me. because I always love suggestions on that. You can find other ones too on YouTube. There's so many free meditations free to use. And to be honest, a lot of times I do listen to music when I meditate. [00:11:57] I am at a place where I try [00:12:00] to have more, space for my insight to come through rather than someone walking me through it. But that's not always the case. Guided meditations have been super helpful for me as well. So be open to either are guided or music and see which one speaks to you. [00:12:15] Cara: Are you ready to make a real change in your life? Here are just a few benefits on working with me as a certified holistic coach. Together we gain insight into your authentic self. We explore your design with modalities like human design, cycle vitality, and astrology. Angel, gain a deeper understanding of your unique. [00:12:37] Cara: Challenges and your purpose in life. Together we work on improving relationships. Understanding your own design helps you communicate more effectively with other people, build stronger relationships, and have more fulfilling connections around you. We increase your productivity by aligning your work with your Burke, but you're a natural rhythms and your strengths. [00:12:59] Cara: You'll be [00:13:00] able to work smarter and not. Achieve your goals and live with a greater ease in your life. We work together on reducing stress and overwhelm. By working with me, you'll learn how to manage your energy, reduce stress, and cultivate more balance in your life. We work on a more authentic. Life. When you're aligned with your unique design, you'll feel more confident, empowered, and fulfilled in every area of your life. [00:13:27] Cara: Those are the benefits. With working with me as a certified intuitive life coach, my focus is not telling people about their human design. Spa vitality, or even astrology. Instead, my role is to help you discover and align with your desires and take aligned action based on how you operate. It is time for you to look within at how powerful you are and welcome your intuitive intelligence. [00:13:50] Cara: If you wanna work with me, head to kara dempsey.com/offerings. [00:13:55] So another tool is called EFT. And I [00:14:00] recently started doing EFT. I've heard about it. I've done it here and there, but it's more recent that I've been consistent with it. Again, it is a part of, um, a community, a bundle that I was a part of that I got to try out this community as well, and they have weekly classes and a library of other EFT scripts to do. [00:14:19] And so EFT is emotional freedom technique. And it is a non-invasive. Inexpensive free method that people can learn on their own to relieve stress. And so a lot of the resources I try to give are something that you can do on your own or find free resources because. You can do this healing and you can support yourself for free. It's just a beautiful blessing when you can invest in those things that really work for you. [00:14:46] And so again, it's one of those things that I've tried for free. And then I found a beautiful opportunity to not only have EFT breath work and some other pieces that I felt like I needed support in my life. [00:14:59] So [00:15:00] EFT is something that can help relieve stress and anxiety, and it combines the principles of acupuncture and modern psychology. it's known as hitting certain acupuncture points. While you're going through a script to help you concentrate on the problem or the emotion you want to change. And so it can be overwhelming at first. And so I do suggest finding a video to walk you through it. [00:15:27] I think a video is the best way. So you can know the different points of your body that you can do it. And I've just found that there's different ways of doing it. Uh, with different practitioners. And so it's always being open to what practitioner might help you kind of take this skill and always use someone to support you, or even turn it into your own support that you do on your own. [00:15:48] So EFT has helped people kind of help with food cravings. Focus on, being able to move through an issue, Sue the everyday stress [00:16:00] It can help you focus your mood. And so when you're having a hard time focusing there scripts that can help you kind of get focused on the things that you want. And so there's so many benefits that it can help. Someone who's gone through trauma and it's a great way. Again, for someone that is really trying to work through their issues or they're having. [00:16:19] In a way that is being present with themselves and they're actually doing something while doing it. So it's a great way of meditation. Doesn't speak to you or breathwork, doesn't speak to you. EFT is also a great way because it is interactive. [00:16:32] So another tool that is huge in my toolbox is being in nature. And so this is a big one. Uh, for those who don't like meditation, they don't like breath work. and they just being outside is something that can improve your mood. It can help you to meet new people. If you want to get out and meet people, it's being more active and moving your body, it improves your health. There's been so many studies on how nature [00:17:00] is like therapy. Like they have been able to do studies and I'm not going to go into it, but it's for someone who. Feels like they need a way to kind of meditate, but meditating, isn't speaking to them. Walk in nature, find a place, a park where there's trees. [00:17:14] And just kind of be present and I encourage you in this time. To not listen to a podcast. I mean, breaks my heart. I want you to listen to me, but I want you to listen to something that gets you in the present. And so sometimes when you're listening to something it's kind of still taking you out of that moment. [00:17:31] You could maybe do music without words, but it's really just trying to be fully present with the space around you. And so sometimes when you put a sound barrier between yourself and the nature, it doesn't have as positive or extreme results, but this is your choice to choose. You can do whatever you feel most supported by. [00:17:50] But nature has been a big piece for me. And so to add a little piece to that, Paddleboarding is one of my favorite ways. And so that to me is doing [00:18:00] something. But I'm in nature and it gives me that idea of being present. And it makes me feel like I'm in a meditative state when I go do it. Some people can take this idea and go skiing or hiking or swimming, and literally immersing themselves in nature. what that nature looks like for you can be different for everybody else, but that is a beautiful way for you to get reconnected with yourself. where I've seen on Tik TOK, where people are like crying and then it said like, turns out I just needed to go outside. [00:18:28] And it's like, yeah, Yes, like, think about it. Like if we keep ourselves inside all day. You know, like we need that sunlight. We need that fresh air from the trees. I think either way, everybody should try and get outside more often than they probably are now, than what it was like without all this technology and working from home and all that stuff. And so I say that in a sense that I have to remind myself daily to get outside and I love nature. That's one. I feel like everybody should put on their list of things. [00:18:56] And then another one that I know is a big practice from a lot of people is [00:19:00] journaling. Journaling, I think just helps you kind of rationalize your thoughts, get up everything out. and being able to acknowledge what you felt in that day, that reflection piece is going to help you make better decisions tomorrow, because if you did something that didn't sit right with, you. [00:19:16] And you not reflect on it, you're going to keep self-sabotaging. journaling is going to help you kind of be accountable for your actions You are in charge of like those things that you need to move forward. And so it's just having that like self-reflection piece to really just see, okay, what happened today? What can I do going forward? You know, I want it to be a better day. So this is what I'm going to do. [00:19:38] And journaling just helps reduce stress. It boosts, mood, health, and wellbeing. And it just encourages to get. [00:19:46] Out of a negative head space. [00:19:48] buy journaling practices change all the time. It is never been consistent. Sometimes it's really prominent that I'm like writing out stories. Sometimes I use it as like a, future journal [00:20:00] me, like there's so many ways I've used journaling in so many different aspects. And so I'll share with you what I'm doing right now. And so I just have a gratitude journal next to my bed. And every night I must write three things that I'm grateful for in the day. And it really just brings a good vibration to my sleep. [00:20:17] Before I go to bed to give gratitude, acknowledgement celebration of the things that I did in the day. No matter how big. Big or how small. I'm just. Thankful that I've added that gratitude piece back in, because if you've known me, if you've been then, oh, gee, from the very start. The first thing I ever did was make a free gratitude journal. And I just wanted people to kind of get in that space with, you know, a pandemic happening let's get grateful. Let's think about our. [00:20:45] things that we're grateful for, because it's so easy to complain about the little things throughout the day, but if we can hold on to that gratitude piece, it is it's huge. [00:20:55] Some other things that can help you. I'm not going to go into a long [00:21:00] overdrawn view of these, but just some other ones that can be very helpful. Depending on where you're at and that's music listening to like sell Fagio frequencies is a big piece of my daily routine. It really helps relax me. I've done healing and body work where people have done energy. I've done it. [00:21:19] Virtual and I've done it in person and they've been super helpful in that energetic presence that I was maybe stuck in. And that energy was kind of holding me down. There's a lot to be said about energy work. And if you're someone that is apprehensive, I just hope that you open up, maybe try it or have a, have an opportunity come through for you to give it a shot. [00:21:41] I know some other things that I haven't done consistently, but like a cold plunge or cold shower. I've done it here or there where I put cold before I get out of the shower and it's fine. It helps. But I can't say it's been anything. That's been like life changing for me, but I know it's been life changing for [00:22:00] other people. [00:22:00] there's so many other ways to, um, figure out how to self-regulate Dan seen movements, just embodying what you need. There's so many ways to support yourself, but these are just my top few that I wanted to share. I hope this was a helpful episode for you or your family, because honestly, who's going to take care of us if we don't do it ourselves. [00:22:25] So this is. My encouragement to you that you are important. And be full of love comes from you doing it for yourself. And yeah, I can't wait to hear any other suggestions that you have for me. You can email me. [00:22:40] Thank you so much for joining me on today's episode, if this was your first time. Welcome. And if you've joined me for previous episodes, thank you so much for coming back before you go. Could you share my show with a friend and subscribe? Those few seconds may get big impact on my show and I'd be grateful for the support. [00:22:57] Thank you so much for joining me on this episode, all [00:23:00] about regulation tools to help with our nervous system. If you want to learn more about the links mentioned check out the show notes caradempsey.com/ 60. thank you so much for being here and we'll chat soon