Building Your Ultimate Support Squad | #16 Interview with Kaitlin Anthony

NOTE: This podcast was transcribed by an AI tool. Please forgive any typos or errors. 16 | Kaitlin Anthony === Cara: [00:00:00] Hey everyone. And this episode with Caitlin, we dive into making the hard choices in life so we can be the best versions of ourselves. One of the themes in my guest interviews is we talk about once we understand how we are built we can untap our potential and guide others to do the same i love this empowering conversation and i can't wait to get started INTRO: Welcome to floductivity, a place to inspire and empower women to embrace self-love and self-development for the perfect balance of productivity. I'm your host, Cara Dempsey. And I share ways to connect to your intuition through self care cycle planning, spirituality, wellness, and everything in between. Thank you so much for joining me this week. If this is your first time. Welcome. And if you've been with me here before, thank you so much for coming back. I'm so excited to join you in this journey. As we learn together.[00:01:00] Cara: Kaitlin is an empowerment coach podcaster, and multi-pasionate entrepreneur dedicated to helping women come back to their authentic selves, build resilience, trade, and stress for sanity and overhaul their limiting beliefs. Welcome to the show, Caitlin. Kaitlin: I'm so excited to be here. Thank you so much for having me. Cara: . One of the, questions I love to start off with is to ask my guests with their self-care practice. That is non-negotiable to I, as an empowerment coach and an advocate for, women taking care of themselves, I am very, very big on self care and self love. So there's quite a few things I do that I would say are non-negotiable. Um,my top, top, top two though, I would say, are moving my body, because. I hold a lot of energy and I tend to be somebody that moves fast and has, high energy. Kaitlin: And so I need to get that out. And so moving my body is [00:02:00] something I do every day that doesn't necessarily mean I do a hard workout. but even if that's a walk or yoga stretches or, or an intense workout, I'm, you know, big, big, big on moving our body. I think magic happens when we do that. I would say my second non-negotiable is staying hydrated and I think that this is one that is often really overlooked I think the big three are probably like moving our bodies and taking time for ourselves and like reading or something. And then, You know, asleep. Those are like the big three, but I think people miss hydration all the time and hydration really fuels us in so many optimal ways that we need. So yeah. Hydration and moving bodies are what I need to do. Cara: that's so important. I tend that when I get kind of overwhelmed, I usually will look back and say, did I move my body? Or did I drink enough water? And so having those reminders is big. And I think so many people are like, I have to do a huge workout and that's not the case. It's like, even if you wanna sit and binge and watch [00:03:00] TV, you can still sit on the floor and stretch and move your body while you're doing it. So if you feel like you can't choose between , you can do both. Kaitlin: Yeah. I keep a foam roller, like by, by the TV and or yoga mat and just, you know, like you said, light stretches moving around. Our body needs it. We sit way too much. I Cara: Definitely. I think also, an important factor for me is understanding where I'm at in my cycle and knowing that there's certain movement I should do within my cycle, because before I always felt like I had to do the hit workouts every day, all day, and then I would get depleted and exhausted and knowing that there is a time for those hit workouts, but, knowing when, what movements are right for your body at the certain times is also pretty empowering. Kaitlin: just, it's so funny you say that I literally just learned about this, you know, at my 35 years of age, I think it's ridiculous. We do not teach this. it's like so stupid. I'm like, why am I just learning really what my period is all about at 35. but. Anyway, that being said, [00:04:00] I about six to seven months ago, really dove into my cycle and aligning it with my emotions, my eating patterns, my, my love languages and the way I move my body. And wow. Like mind blown that this was this hidden gym and secret that I've had access to tap into this whole time and just didn't even know what was available to me. It's, it's amazing. a little bit of my story is my immune system started to shut down after I had my son and I wasn't really getting answers from the doctors and long story short. My biggest part about it was getting off birth control. And I did not know how to experience a period. Like I had been on birth control. Cara: And so I had to teach myself how to experience it. I found so much power and that's really like my passion is to empower women, to use how they're built, whether it's with their cycle and their human design, because there is so much power in just those two tools to unlock so much power. And I think the [00:05:00] biggest issue women have in their daily life is they think they're supposed to do all the things all the time. And when you can even do your tasks along with your cycle, like just even batching my content for whatever I'm doing along with my cycle has been like a life changing thing I actually have on my site is, productivity cycle planning principles to help align you with. The productivity that you wanna do. And I find that if I nourish and let myself rest in my menstrual cycle, like I am much more powerful in my other phases. And I think so many people think it's woo, woo. And it's just like, well, if it's woo, woo. Great. But let me tell you, like you will unlock a power, so I'm glad that you found it because I didn't find it until I was 37. So I'm like, let's try and teach the younger generation so they don't have to wait so long to understand how powerful it is to work with your cycle. Kaitlin: Absolutely. I mean, even just the simple things as like forgetfulness memory, brain fog, [00:06:00] creativity, I'm so happy. I know it now, but I'm also like a little bitter that I didn't know this for so long. . Cause like you said, we feel like I'm like, why was I last week feeling like on fire? And I could like run the world and this week I feel like I won a nap all day. and that feels like not , my personality, like what's going on and I depressed and it's like, no, you're just in your, a different phase of cycle. So I, yes, I'm fascinated and want to know all the things. Cara: I feel like so many women feel like they have like a personality disorder because they change from each phase and I'm like, no, no, that's normal. And when we accept it, life is so much easier when we fight it. That's when burnout comes, when we're fighting against the grain, you will head right to burnout. And I think, you know, teaching women that understanding their bodies is the most powerful thing that you can do for yourself. Like the highest form of self care. So yay for you. So something that I'm passionate about is uplifting, empowering women to become [00:07:00] who they are designed to be. And it seems that you have the same passion. Could you tell listeners what brought you to this journey? Kaitlin: Oh man. There's a lot of things that led me here. And honestly, if I, you know, we're in a graduation season and I've been thinking a lot about it, I don't have necessarily someone super close to me graduating, but I, I see a lot of my clients and their children. And it really makes you reflect back. I would say actually thinking this morning about, What was I like at that time in my life. And how did I get here? Because if you had asked my 18 year old self, what would I be doing now? I'm not sure I could have answered what I'm doing, but really when I look back and then I trace back all the things that have led me here, it all makes sense. and so without going into too many, you know, details and detours, cuz there's a lot of them. I started out my career in the fashion industry. I was actually a celebrity fashion stylist and. Loved it traveled all the time. It was exciting. I lived in New York city, [00:08:00] all the things, it was really great. and while I was, my main clientele was men, actually, I wasn't working with women. I had always been sort of a guy's girl and I thought women were dramatic and non-supportive and catty and judgemental. Kaitlin: And so I had always leaned on guys my whole life. And I was like, I don't wanna dress women. They're too picky, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. So I started off my career and I, I really realized what I was doing was coaching at, at the foundation. I was coaching how to show up and how to dress and how to feel your best. So that really started like my coaching, career in general. And then I moved out to LA, I got very much into fitness. My whole life. I had struggled with my weight and it was never really. A massive issue until I moved to LA. And that was when it hit me for the first time that I was dealing with a lot of body image stuff. And I felt very uncomfortable in my own skin. And, I, I sought after a trainer and so I had a [00:09:00] massive weight loss transformation. I lost nearly 80 pounds and became an endurance athlete. I became so obsessed with fitness that I actually became a coach and I met my now ex-husband we opened a gym together. So again, I was coaching, but not quite in the place where I needed to be. And it was really through this gym journey and this fitness journey that I got into personal development. I understood what the body and mind were capable of. I've done iron man races. I've done 50 mile running races. and when you're doing that kind of volume, you are now no longer like working in a mental capacity. I mean, in a physical capacity, it's very mental. And so, I was really learning how to work with my body and at the same time run a business. And what I realized when I was coaching these clients at the gym, I didn't necessarily love so much talking about losing [00:10:00] weight and health and fitness and nutrition like that. Wasn't lighting me up. But what I did love was the transformation and what I loved even more than that was working with women and seeing their transformation. And it was really the first time I would say, in my life where I started to see the power of sisterhood and women, because you know, when women were coming to the gym, they didn't feel comfortable talking about what was going on with necessarily a male trainer or with my ex-husband. They wanted to talk to a woman and these were older women, but somehow we were connecting on some level. And because we were very much of a family gym, I got to really experience so many of these beautiful transformations, right. Alongside these people. And. When I went through, you know, we ended up having a child together. She's now, like I was saying in the pre show she's five and a half. but we ended up having a child together. And, about two years after she [00:11:00] was born, things were really hard in our marriage. we just struggled a lot on the balance of being a couple and also owning a business together. There was a lot of stress and tension, and we were also younger when we got married and ultimately I asked for a divorce and separation, and I think that that's really what blew my life up. cuz there's a lot that went into it as well. know, any kind of divorce I actually just posted about this yesterday, whether it's amicable or not, which mine really wasn't. Blows your life up. I mean, you really kind of hit a reset button and I truly was starting over and it was really scary. And I had to really dig deep and ask myself, what do I really want now? Kaitlin: Because there was no before, like when you're not living in your highest self and what you're really like purposed for. I feel like there's a lot of room for excuses. Like I could just, I was using excuses like while I have a kid [00:12:00] now I'm married. I own this business. I'm responsible for this. Like I had all of these things that I said on why I couldn't do the other things that I really wanted to do and why I was being held back. But once I didn't have those things. There was like no room for excuses anymore. And so I really got clear and I, I really was asking myself, what do I wanna do? What do I love? And that's when I started my podcast and it was really my like verbal diary of what was going on. women were really resonating with it. They were experiencing and also resonating with everything that was going on simultaneously in my life. And, yeah, and that's when I realized this is what I wanna do. I want to help women not feel stuck in their life anymore and not feel like just because you're here, that you have to stay here, you know, there's room for growth and there's room for more. And that doesn't mean getting divorced and starting over. There's so much room to do all the things you wanna [00:13:00] do and still have fulfillment in the areas of your relationship and be a mom and do all the things that are your roles, but aren't who you are. And there's a big difference there. So yeah, in a very long slash short nutshell, that is why I love helping women and how I got here. It was, it was a long road, but I'm not leaving it now. Marker audio clips — Cara: Yeah, that's wonderful to hear that you're at that path. And to know that I think most people that are trying to help other people, it was their lessons that they're trying to translate to other women. And it's not like, you know, we woke up one day and had it all figured out. It's taking a lot of deep soul work and figuring out who we really are to be able to help empower other women. And, , there's parts of your story that resonate true with me. I had a transformation myself. I lost around 70 pounds and I felt like I was supposed to be in the, health and wellness, I started out that way and it was very draining on me. It was one of those where I had to [00:14:00] tried out to see, and it, wasn't speaking to my soul and it took figuring out trying things. And to know that it's helping women through the journey and it is mindset. It is understanding that if you want something to change in your world, it is not external things that will happen. It's internal. Like you have to do it yourself. There will probably be a way for you to make that change. It just depends at what capability you have and how much drive you have behind Kaitlin: Absolutely. Yeah. And, and like you said, with the health and wellness, You know, I could tell people all day long, this is how you lose weight. These are the exercises you need to do. This is what you need to eat, but no transformation sticks unless the mind work is done alongside it. And that's what I loved was recommending a personal development book. What I loved was working on affirmations. What I loved was working on, body image and loving our body and seeing our strengths because we are, built so differently that, we're told [00:15:00] what a definition of beautiful is. And somebody made that up. Somebody made up what beautiful is. And for some reason, everyone got behind it and said, yeah, that's what beautiful is. And if I don't look like that, then I must not be beautiful. And so like deconstructing all of these, things that we've held onto for so long. That when you really break it down are just kind of not real. And so, that's what I really, really love is that mindset piece and that unlocking and understanding that, you know, we don't have to stay this way and there is a different way out. Cara: And embracing how we're built. That's. I think the key point is like not trying to fit yourself in a box, into a certain, image. And that's the most empowering step for change is to accept it, embrace it. We all have downfalls and working on that, but you know, always being open to some sort of self development, I think will also open your eyes to, you know, where you need to heal what your next steps are and just being [00:16:00] open for what comes in your journey. Kaitlin: Absolutely. Absolutely. Cara: how can we bridge the gap between where we are and where we wanna be? oh God, there's so many different, avenues. You could take this one. that is like, honestly, most people's struggle is. We all see somewhere else that we'd like to be. but we make this bridge look however scary we want it to be right. So some people envision the journey as being this beautiful bridge that they're gonna walk across and it's gonna be a great, experience, right. Kaitlin: And there'll be some uphill in downhill, but you know, they're gonna get there. And then other people view it as this scary dark forest with all these winding roads and pitfalls, and it's gonna be terrifying. So I think the, the first, way to get to where we wanna go is to decide how you wanna get there. because, you know, like we've really talked about this whole first half of this podcast is mindset. So, [00:17:00] how the famous quote goes, whether you believe you can, or you can't you're right. The same goes and applies for everything. Whether you believe the journey will be difficult and horrible and impossible, or you believe it to be empowering and something you're gonna learn from and challenging, but doable, I think has a lot to do with it. Kaitlin: The other couple pieces that are crucial when trying to bridge a gap and to get somewhere where you haven't been. and what I coach my clients a lot on is clarity. So being really crystal clear about what you're asking for,I'm blown away by how often I ask women what they want and. They're like, well, I don't know. I mean, I guess, and I'm like, do you really want that then? Because that does not sound like you really wanna get there and you have no idea what you're saying. And then it's like, is that being clear on, is that really what you [00:18:00] want? Or is that what someone else told you you wanted? the clarity is so important. I would say to build on that too, once you have clarity and you've decided like your journey path, it's taking action, you've got to do something about it. and I know action is where really people get stuck, right? It's so much easier sometimes even though where we are sucks and it's hard and you don't like it and you're drained, it's familiar. Kaitlin: And so we stay here because we know it. And even though the change in taking action could potentially give us a better outcome than where we are now. It's going to the unknown that keeps us stuck in the comfortable. Right? So taking action is such a big piece because not every time you take action, does that mean you're gonna get there? But what it does mean is you'll get feedback, right. And you'll get feedback on. Was this [00:19:00] the right move or, Ooh, that didn't work out as, as much as I thought, but now I have another idea I'm gonna pivot in this direction. So taking action really gives us, feedback on what to do next and it's so important. I would say to bridge the gap, you've gotta have good mindset, clarity and take action. Marker — Cara: definitely. I had a defining single moment that I feel like changed my life and it was ultimately, I went from why is this happening to me? To this is happening for me. And. How can I use that? And I ultimately just said it, it was that flow of life felt so difficult. And I said, I can't do this anymore. I am going to stop pushing through, I'm going to surrender and say, universe, show me the way. And I think that sometimes too is sometimes we just try to hustle on through, and it's like, we need to learn how to get in our bodies and get that answer we're looking for. And that answer is within us. It's not in an anything external [00:20:00] and using things like your cycle and human design will connect you to that internal. Yes or no. Kaitlin: Thousand percent. Absolutely. Cara: It's like, how can choosing discomfort over regret, help us guide us in our empowerment. Kaitlin: Yeah. I, I there's, A really great. I dunno if you call it like a meme because it's not really a quote, no one, like there's no direct person that quoted this, but I talk a lot about choosing your hard and it's the same thing over regret, over discomfort. And why I love choosing your hard and talking about this is, you know, some of the examples that you'll see if you look up, choose your hard is like, it's hard to fit and to be healthy, but it's also hard to be overweight. They're both hard. It's really hard to have a good marriage, and it's really hard to get a divorce. It's hard to be financially, stable and to save your money and to be [00:21:00] educated about your money. And it's really hard to be broke. You know what I mean? So there are different ways of looking, like looking at things. And it's the same thing we're talking about. Choosing discomfort over regret, where you are now is really uncomfortable and it's super sucky. Maybe like you might be waking up every day, dreading the day, or just trying to like put your head down power through, get through it. And you're not even present. You're not paying attention. It's just about getting things done. We're not like you're living life, but you're not living life. And there's a big difference in that. Whereas sure. These other things over here sound great, but you know that it's going to be, you know, uncomfortable to get there. But what I like to challenge my clients to think about is that regret piece. Like what if you. What people think about what if it doesn't work out, but I like to frame it as what if it does work out for you? Like you want this way of [00:22:00] life, you want this, you wanna start this business. You wanna stop being so stressed out. You wanna, get in or out of this relationship. You wanna have more present time with your kids, whatever it is, you're gonna give up over here. If you're putting your energy over here, eight to nine times out of 10, it's gonna work out for you. And I like to focus on what if it does, what would that mean for your life if this really were to happen for you? And when I ask that to my clients, it's one of the first times I'll see like a aha light up moment. That's always really special for me because I. We have, we, we train our brains automatically to think so much about the negative side effects of things. Like what if it didn't work out and everything falls apart and it's like, okay, well, so what, so what if it does is where you're at really that great. Anyway, probably not because if it was great, you wouldn't be looking over here, you know? And so, yeah, really deciding that, you know, that it's worth it and that it [00:23:00] is, such a better possibility than being stuck where you are now. Cara: personal experience was. When I finally knew how to connect with my intuition to help me guide me in a life of more purpose and ease, it was, I would get these intuitive hits like, Ooh, this is what I would do. This is what I should do. And then I would go back to my old ways of hustling through and just pushing through and not listening to my body. And, the benefit of going through that was what was the lesson in that? What is that teaching me to be able to have the life that I want? Well, guess what, how I was living before I was hustling through and my body got depleted because of it. So I learned the lesson. It was that, two times out of 10 that I did not succeed in that, but ultimately I feel that that still is gonna propel me forward to have more chances to be able to succeed. Kaitlin: Yeah, absolutely. there, yeah, there's been a lot of circumstances in my life like that. And, and, I look at my last relationship as a [00:24:00] really big pivotal moment in my life as well, where, you know, there was. A lot that was, banking on that relationship. My finances were all tied into it. We had a child together. everyone knew us as like that couple, and owning a business together. We almost like all of our clients were almost like our kids, you know, and we were that couple that held it together. there was a lot of pressure to be like happy and perfect and everything was great. And inside I was truly crumbling and I was focusing so much on the growth of the business and I really lost myself. Kaitlin: And when I kind of woke up, I was really feeling like I was in this position of this exactly what we're talking about, discomfort over regret. And I knew that staying where I was. Would be like the easy way out and I would regret every day, not making the move. and, and [00:25:00] that's really ultimately what gave me the strength to just take a chance on myself, you know, and, and see like, well, you know, maybe this is the wrong call and maybe it'll all go to shit or maybe it won't. And it'll all be amazing. And either way I knew that I was willing to take the risk because you know where I was definitely wasn't gonna work out for me. Thank Cara: part about that is. It might not feel that way now because your daughter's so young, but for her to see that you took a chance on yourself is the most empowering thing that you can do for her to show her the way that she is important. You are important to make yourself a priority. And when you do what you're supposed to do, when you shine through and show as an example, it's going to show her and empower her when she gets to a point to say, it's, it's time to put myself first and think about how I can better impact the world. And those around you [00:26:00] and starting with your daughter is a huge spot. So you should give yourself applause for making that step for her too. Kaitlin: you for saying that it's truly, I know for a lot of people with children who are in places and their relationships, it's, it's the biggest one is, because of the kids. And, I really thought about it very deeply. And I thought one day, if she was 30 and coming to me, explaining her life as mine was and asking me for advice, I would tell her, choose yourself. You, you gotta choose yourself. And I would never want her to say, yeah, but you didn't. And that ultimately was like, Ugh, I gotta do the hard thing. I gotta do it. And here we are hard things always pay out one way or the other. Cara: they do. They'll, they'll teach you what your next steps are, no matter what, you know, whether you pivot move forward. However, it is, as long as you're willing to, you know, reflect on the situation. And then whenever you get that inspired action to actually [00:27:00] make the steps forward and not backwards. Kaitlin: Absolutely. Yeah. Cara: I know you had mentioned that you had started your podcast, but I would like to know if your podcast led you into this type of coaching or the coaching led you into the podcast, Kaitlin: That's a great question. My, my podcast came first and, I I'm, to be honest, I started my podcast because I've started to, at that time, this was the end of 2019. I was kind of beginning to suspect. Maybe I was a little bit D D and that I had had it my whole life. And one of the side effects of ADHD, not for everyone, but for me in particular, I was recently diagnosed about two and a half, three years ago as an adult. And it's been a game changer for me, but, and explained so many things, one of which was memory loss. And I. Don't remember a lot of things. And I think that that's partially personality, partially my ADHD partially moving so fast and I [00:28:00] get excited. but I started my podcast because I was at a really big transitional point in my life. I had just asked for a separation in my marriage and I was trying to figure out my next steps. And I think so fast that pin to paper for me is exhausting. so I was like really kind of starting a verbal diary and I was still coaching in fitness. I still have like one toe in fitness. and so I was still coaching in that way. And so I just started taking my coaching personality and I started to about my life and like what was going on. And like I said, women were kind of resonating with it. And then, I thought. What is this life coaching thing? What is this empowerment coaching thing? And that's when I really, started to do some research and got a better understanding. And then I got certified to be a life coach, which I think is really important. You don't have to be certified. but for me, that was a really important thing because we're dealing with people's lives here and I [00:29:00] wanted to really make sure I had the best tools and ability, not only from my 10 years of, you know, coaching at the time, well, seven at the time now 10, to be able to, to lead women down this path. So yeah, that's, that's kind of how that came about. Cara: that's so empowering to hear. I've felt so empowered to help women on their journey, but I'm still trying to figure out how I'm supposed to do that. , I felt like as a hairdresser, I coached my clients in my chair. Like I connected with them and I would direct them in a certain way. As I'm going through, I'm helping my friends build their business, a spiritual, powerful, intentional business. And they come to me about these questions as best as I can, whether it's through their cycle, their human design business, whatever it is, I'm helping guiding them. And someone's like, how can people, you know, book a session with you? And I'm like, oh, I don't do that yet. But I'm not saying that won't be something in the future. I won't have some sort of program in the future. And so to know that your podcast [00:30:00] kind of started that momentum and then turned in that way is inspiring. I'm open to what the future has for me, so that's nice Kaitlin: it'll show you. It'll totally show you. you know, it did for me in same way, people kept asking, are you doing life coaching or what's this like, you know, can we book sessions with you? Or how does this work? And I'm like, you can do personal training sessions of me and you'll get, you know, life coaching kind of in that way. And then I was like, this is silly. This is what I meant to do. Come on. You know, I've been tapped so many times. I gotta listen now. Cara: Yes. And that's where I'm at right now. My journey is, again, I'm not forcing through, I'm very much in a surrender. Show me the way, cuz I wanna be very purposeful with my words and my actions and like I said before, it's taken a lot of lessons to learn how to sit back and surrender and not force my way through. So universe guide me the way Cycle planning AD: Are you looking to have a more easeful and purposeful life? Well, planning around my cycle has changed my life. [00:31:00] And I know with this concept, it can help other women take on the test. At the right times for more productivity. I created a free cycle planning principles to help guide you. Understand your cycle. For your work and home life. Visit Caradempsey.com/cycle. Or check the show notes. Cara: I would love to know your secret sauce to build your ultimate support squad. Kaitlin: I am huge on community. I, honestly the best times and the hardest times of my life, I've been surrounded by community. I think that we are far stronger together than we are as individuals and magic can really happen. in fact, Most of my coaching is in group coaching. I do, lots of group coaching sessions, and my course is group coaching. I also come from a group fitness coaching background. That's just, it's all intertwined. And in my course, I teach you how to [00:32:00] build your support squad and ultimately what your support squad is, is those core group of people around you who have very important roles in your life. and it's important to identify those people and then to let them know who they are. Kaitlin: And so, for example, like I believe everyone should have like a mentor and a coach or a coach in some way. So like identifying who's going to be that person that you're gonna go to for. Mentorship guidance, or if you're a business for your business, like who is that person? And does that person know who they are to you? I think that everyone needs, an emotional support person, right? So identifying that person, identifying who are the people that uplift you when you are maybe wanting some, you're feeling down and you need some extra energy or that people that, you know, move and get outdoors a lot. [00:33:00] And you wanna be surrounded that who are these people that inspire you to be the best version of yourself and identifying these people is so important because when I make my support squad list, I instantly know who and where to turn depending on what's going on in my life. This has also been a really fascinating exercise for me because it's identified people that I don't need in my life anymore. And I had a really hard time with that because I'm someone that's like the more the Meer come on, you know? And while I am a big advocate of community, I'm also into protecting communities and not making sure that you have the bad egg or the person who resists any kind of change or constantly brings in gossip or judgemental views or negativity. And, by no means I don't believe everyone should think the same thing. That's what makes [00:34:00] community beautiful. That's not at all what I'm saying, but what I am saying is, that person right in the group that is just always has something to say or. You know, negative in some kind of way and, or just doesn't believe that that's possible or has no aspirations to want more or support you in doing more. And, yeah. So in building your support squad, it's really like making list on a paper and deciding who are these people that fill these different areas of your life, and also asking yourself, how are you filling those areas in other people's lives? Because, relationships are a two-way street, right? And you have to give as much as you receive. And that's not always like we go through seasons of life where sometimes we're receiving more and sometimes we're giving more. but it's to that group of people that foster growth and not negativity. Cara: Yeah, I think that's so important. And I just wanna recognize your mindset growth and the [00:35:00] fact that you went from not wanting to be around other women, the fact that they would bring you down the negativity, the cattiness to now knowing that there are women out there to empower and inspire you. And it's so important to know that I feel like in this journey to finding yourself feels so lonely and it doesn't have to be, if you can find the right people and it takes being vulnerable to put yourself out there to find those people the last two and a half years that I've been on my journey. It really did feel lonely because I was letting some of these relationships and these relationships are still important to me. They're just not the support system I need right now. I need a very specific support system and slowly I've been building it. These people have been coming into my life and just, when you need someone to help lift you up, because it isn't all high vibes, there are times where our vibes are low, but it's the let's not sit in that low vibe. Let's figure out a way to lift [00:36:00] us up and finding that person to say like, Hey, have you been outside of nature? Hey, have you taken the time to check in with yourself and surrounding yourself with those people? When you put that effort and the energy out there. They will attract to you. They will. I promise you that it might take more time than you realize, or that you want, you know, impatience is a lesson I'm learning every day, but knowing that they'll come and, you know, be open to that open to someone that might teach you about yourself, that you may not know that was there too. Kaitlin: Yeah. And making friends as adults is actually weird and hard it's like such an awkward thing. I like am such a user of my child because I feel so lucky that I'm like, if I didn't have a child, it'd be really hard to make friends. Cuz I've made such amazing friends through her school and meeting other women and moms and things like that. But then I think about, well, what if I didn't have kids? Which there are a lot of women who choose not to, or don't have kids yet. And [00:37:00] they're like, okay, that's great. Well, how do I make friends? Like how do I meet people and much like this, right? Like me and you, we put ourselves in an uncomfortable situation. We put ourself in a group of people with like-minded, , thoughts and. We just put our stuff out there and here we are on a podcast. And so I think that that's really what it takes is what are your interests? What are you into like now that the pandemic is, well, however you wanna classify it as coming to an end, starting over will always be here. There's different thoughts on that, but world is opening up again and there's ways to get involved in groups and hobbies and things, where you'll find other people who like the same things as you. And it's so fun when you find another adult who likes what you like, and it really reminds you of being a kid again. And it's like, oh, making friends is fun. Cara: Yeah. It's like stop trying to fit ourselves in a box to [00:38:00] attract the people we think we want. It's like when you actually step into your authentic self they'll come and that's I think been my biggest thing is, especially in my human design is I was letting external people try to tell me what I should be doing. And knowing that when I step into who I am and find what I really like, those people will, eventually come to you and, you know, just be, be yourself, do the things you love. And they'll find you, you know, have patience too. Kaitlin: Yes. Yes. Cara: Now I would love to jump into your human design a little bit. And I know you said you have a little, background of it, but I'm just gonna kind of give an idea what it is, and then just some key points of your chart. But I can already tell that you are ultimately living most of your design. I can usually tell. And that's the great thing is I think a lot of times when you have self-awareness, you know, what's working and what doesn't, and so your design will come a little bit easier to you, but when you're not following your [00:39:00] design, it is when life feels hard and you're moving upstream and your not self theme keeps occurring, which yours is frustration. So whatever you feel frustrated, you ultimately are pushing against your design a little. There might be reoccurring health issues that keep popping up. You feel drained versus energized. And those are the signs that you may not be living in your design. And you know, , it's not like, Ooh, I'm always living my human design. It's built to tell you when you're not, whether there's a certain situation and just kind of coming within your body a little bit. as a generator, your main focus is to listen to your gut. You are a workhorse with endless life force energy, but you find it's hard to make things happen. So there needs to be some effort before you can reach your potential. Your design is not to initiate, but wait for the right things to come to you. So the best way for you to live in your design is wait, have that thing come to you, whether it's a sign and you're like, oh, I've [00:40:00] been thinking about. Going on this trip to this place. It's not like that trip has to come and reach out and grab you. If you see it, it's a sign to kind of go for it. When you see it, then you respond and then you can keep going. Your energy with a generator is hit the ground running. When you get that sign as a manifesting generator, I get anger and frustration. So I get a double dose of, you Kaitlin: That's fine. Cara: is like, yes. So, the thing with the generator is you're like an Energizer buddy who keeps going and going and going, and most people cannot keep up with you. So knowing that, that you have this and other people might not, and probably looking at maybe what your daughter design is, see where she kind of is at. It's like having those expectations for yourself, but not allowing that to hit other people. Kaitlin: Uh,to follow this energy within you can bring the opportunities you desire, but you must master the art of patience. I have that same lesson. So when you master that, you are [00:41:00] the law of attraction, you know, it's like, I wish it wasn't that way, again, like I said, patience is my life lesson every day, all day, understanding when I need to kind of bring that back in, You know, it's, it's so interesting. You say that because me and patients have a love, hate relationship, because I was just talking about this the other day when I surrender to the day and I, even if I'm behind and I'm just like, it's okay, I'm behind and it's, it's gonna be fine. Like there's no life or death on the line here. We're gonna be fine. it actually is totally fine. And it works out actually better when I'm like, I'm behind, I gotta get my keys. I'm gonna get out the door. Oh my God, this red light, this person's driving so slow. What the hell is wrong with people? I am a psycho mess. And so, yeah. I mean, even in just like how we approach patients and to be okay with people, taking their time and not even with other people with ourselves, with the things we [00:42:00] desire taking time. right now I'm in a big, phase of business growth. And I get frustrated when I feel like I'm doing all the things. Where's the result. Hello. And then it's like, okay, universe. Okay. I'll be patient. I trust you. Yeah. Cara: Surrender surrendering is, I just need to put a sign up on my wall, like surrender when you're frustrated or angry, just surrender. And that's right. It's like being aware of that. Hitting the red light that frustration comes through. It's like, okay, let's take a breath. Maybe put on some calming music while you're driving. Take a moment. But it's hard. It's hard when you're wrapped up into the pushing through and trying to get going and taking that step back. But yeah, that is as a generator manifesting generator, I feel that it's so hard to take a step out, but it's like finding the tools to kind of be like, oh, okay. All right. And you have to leave room for miracles to happen. And so if you're pushing through and rushing through, there's no way they're gonna come through unless they smack you in the face, you know?[00:43:00] Yeah. Kaitlin: Totally. Cara: As a generator, you must be aware of other people trying to attach to your life force energy. And when someone attaches to it, it will leave you depleted. Knowing if you're going into a certain situation that that might happen, protecting your energy, avoiding that person, however you need to do that, especially because, I was telling you before the show started, you have all of your centers defined, but one, and I've never seen that before. And so the fact that you have that much energy, people are gonna feel it, they're gonna attach onto it and they wanna, they wanna suck it out of you. So just being aware, I think is the first thing. And then just setting those energetic boundaries is gonna be, important for you, especially if you are coaching, because some people don't do it knowingly. They just feel your energy. And they're like, oh, I want what she has. And. They wanna grab onto it. It's hard not to, Kaitlin: I have definitely felt that before. Cara: I'm sure cuz your emotional center is open, ultimately if all your [00:44:00] centers are defined means you have all that energy. If they're open, you're more susceptible to that center of someone else. So for example, my emotional center is open to, so if someone is very angry, In your presence, you will automatically feel angry and you'll have to take a moment to take a step out to say, is that my anger or is that their anger? And a lot of times you'll reflect back that anger and then it's magnified. So learning when there's emotions that you don't know where they're coming from, having a practice of taking a step out of the room, taking a breath, say what's mine, what's theirs. And assessing that. And I think for me having two small kids, it's a hard practice, but you know, there's times where that energy you're like, okay, let me take a moment. Your anger's turning into my anger. I need to remove myself and assessing this situation. Kaitlin: Yeah. That's Ugh. That's a good tool to know. Cara: yes. So to feel fulfilled in your design, you must only engage with activities, projects, careers, and people [00:45:00] that resonate with you and your sacral response when you push through and you don't honor. Your design, you will end up feeling depleted or lazy or not wanting to bring your true magnetic energy to the forefront. You can also become overwhelmed when there's too much thrown at your way. That leaves you paralyzed. Kaitlin: Yep. Cara: and some things with your design may ring true. Now it may have run true in the past and it may not ring true until the future. So it's kind of like your astrology chart, summer lessons now, summer lessons for the future, and just kind of taking what resonates, leave what doesn't. But knowing that it's there for another time is also important of your design. It's not like I have to do this. All right now. Take what feels good now and then leave. What does it. So this was an important part of learning my human design. I also have a sacral response. You do as well. So that is following your gut. You're born with a natural instinct that comes within your sacral and it is [00:46:00] meant to be, responsive and not proactive. So you should feel a hell yes or a hell. No. And if you don't feel either of those two, it might be a not right now. And so just learning to honor those three things say like, I can tell it's a yes now and no, that that can change. But when you have a sacral response, once you commit to it, it's really hard for you to not follow through with it. Kaitlin: yeah. Yeah, I forget sometimes, you know, like I said, I'm learning about human design, but I have always felt very intuitively strong and you know, that people that we use listening to your gut, very in tandem with being intuitive and. I've done that my whole life, without even knowing that I do it, people are like, how did you just make that decision? I'm like, oh, I was told, like, that's what I need to do. I'm like, just listen to your gut, your body. They're like, what are you talking about? And my body's not telling me anything. I'm like, what? So yeah. I think sometimes we can take for granted our [00:47:00] strong, intuitive power. and when I first even read on the surface of my human design, I was like, this makes so much sense now. Cara: it does. And knowing that other people might not make their decisions, like you, you know, my husband per se, he needs a few days for me. I know instantly. And if, I don't know instantly, I'm just gonna say, can I let you know about that? And that right there has been powerful because I always felt committed to say yes, yes, yes. And if I don't get that, yes, I'll just say. I'm gonna have to let you know, and if you need an answer now, then I'm gonna have to say it's a no, but if you can wait, I'll let you know when I get that yes. Or that no, it's a superpower because not everybody has it, but it's like, it's not a superpower for not listening to it. Or we don't know how to listen to it. And if anybody does have a sacral response, getting out of your head and getting into your body, moving your body, meditation, journaling, whatever you need to do to get out of your head and into your body will help you connect to that. If you don't know what that feels like, because it takes practice. It's taken practice every day [00:48:00] to know like, yes, and I've had to say is no to some things that like, I was like, I wanna do that, but I could tell. And they have ended up in the best thing that I said no to, even though it was a hard, no, for me to do, even though my body was like, it's a no, So you have a one three profile and you have an endless search for stability. Even though you have an inverted side, it doesn't stop you from forming connections. With those close to you. You're eager to learn new things. You like to start a new project of your inquisitive nature before diving into it full force. If something feels unsafe, you will express boredom and retreat. You have an eager, demeanor and directness to your conversations. You love to dive into the details of things. When you walk into a room you're hungry to meet new people. You are a social butterfly one minute, and then you're out the next. So it's just knowing that like, you can have both sides of the coin and just honoring what feels good to you in that. There may be some contradictory [00:49:00] things in people's human designs. It doesn't mean one's right and one's wrong. It's that sometimes some things are shown to you and some things they're shown to you at another time, you need to be watchful of cutting ties abruptly because your interest level weans down there will be a lot of trial and error in your pursuits. And when something is lighting you up, then it will show in your demeanor, keep an eye out. When you get restless, that is a sign, things need to change and to feel secure, you must find the trusting and solid foundations in your venture and your relationships, trust and reassurance is needed for you to fully commit to any venture. How does that feel to you? Does that seem right? Kaitlin: Yeah, absolutely. I'm big on that trust factor. And it's really hard for me when trust is broken to keep going, you know, Cara: it Kaitlin: um, it's I can forgive and be like, that's cool, but I am a hundred percent in gungho let's do this. And then something like throws me off and I'm like, Ooh, I don't know [00:50:00] anymore. That doesn't make me that excited anymore. So yes, that totally deeply resonates with me. Yeah. Cara: Yeah. I think if you come across that, it's like, don't cut. 'em out, completely keep 'em at a safe distance for yourself. And then, there's a time, maybe they go through the healing, they need to, they find themselves in the way, because I, feel like sometimes it's just like, oh, I'm done with you. And I know I have that like, mindset to be like, Nope, you crossed me. I'm done. You know, Kaitlin: Yeah. That's been, the adult version of me is not cutting those people out let's just have a little space. We need some space right now. Cara: Yes. I'm gonna have you pick one of your channels. So a channel is when two numbers connect. And so I'm gonna talk about one that is conscious. So black means conscious. You should be aware of it. You should be empowered by it. Red means unconscious or something from your lineage. so I'm gonna talk about something that should be aware in your life. So there's three that I pulled up and there's [00:51:00] one called channel of structuring. There's one called channel of initiation and one called channel of enterprise. Do you have a preference? Which one I touch base on? my lucky number is three. Cara: Okay. Well, I was gonna say the first one has 2343 connected. Kaitlin: Let's do it. Cara: okay. You can change how other people view the world. You have the gift of painting, a bigger picture of the world, which can bring increased structure. This channel is giving you the gift of a third eye out of all the channels. This is the most empowering one because you have flashes of insight and urgency to it. And when I say this is the most empowering one, this is the most empowering one out of all. The channels, not just yours, like all the channels. this channel is the gift of speaking your mind and can blow people out of their water, which may induce all sorts of reactions to utilize this channel. You must spread your message in a simple tactful manner. When someone allows your insight in their world, they would consider you a genius. But if they don't, they may consider [00:52:00] you to be too out there. Your findings may seem obvious to you. They may seem off the wall to others. So make sure to gauge if this is something people are ready to hear, use your human design authority, to know the right time to share your life changing insights and be careful not to blurt them out at the wrong times. Kaitlin: I like it. I like it. That's some good stuff. Right? Cara: I feel like this, this one seems like it fits, especially with the podcast and what your message is. Kaitlin: Yeah, I've definitely had people say, okay, I'm not really ready for that quite yet. And sometimes that burns cause I'm like, what do you mean ? And I feel like it's a personal attack, but then I realize that's okay. It's okay. We don't all have to be there yet. A Cara: yes. Everybody's journey is different and just allowing people to come at the right place. And I think that's the empowering thing about a podcast it's evergreen. And when people are ready to hear those messages, they can come to it whenever they're ready for it. And,it's empowering. Yeah. I knew you had said something earlier about writing. [00:53:00] Your mind works too quick to be able to write. I had started my journey as a blog and it was very overwhelming to me I don't know why it took me two and a half years to realize podcasting was the way for me to go. But once I did, I was like, why did it take me two and a half years? I mean, I believe in divine timing, but it was one of those two where I felt that too, where I was just like, I thought a blog was the way to go. And then it was like, oh duh, it's a podcast. Kaitlin: Yeah, we can talk. I can talk all day long. Cara: yeah, me too. I would love to learn more about your, say bye to burnout. Five day mini training series. Kaitlin: yeah, this is a brand new freebie I just created for my community and my listeners. And what it is is basically five days of receiving. Reflective journal prompts from me, coinciding with some kind of story in my life on how I used to be burnt out and probably not even knowing it going against my human design and my cycle and all that [00:54:00] is w that makes life easy, which really led me to intense burnout. I just was not living in my flow. And so there's several things that I did most of which began with deep work. And some of those reflective things that I thought about journaled about podcasted about I've put into, a series of questions over five days. And so that's what it is. It's, you'll get five emails, one a day with reflective journal prompts for you to start to really, like we talked about identifying, getting clear on. Burning you out and why you're feeling this way, because feeling burned out. I know everyone says it's normal. It's the hustle culture. This is, everyone feels burned out. Everyone's stressed. I'm like, this is not normal. You guys, this is not normal. Like we are not designed to be burned out. Like this is not okay. And so I think every day I get closer and closer to discovering, like why I'm here. And I think [00:55:00] that so much of it is providing clarity on why you're feeling certain ways and to understand that that is not normal. And this is what I hope that this freebie does. Is that, are you gonna be cured from burnout in five days? Not gonna lie to you? No, but it's a great tool to give you to start identifying maybe areas where you can start to improve and really. Work on so that you don't feel that way anymore? Cara: Yeah, I found that so powerful. I'll make sure that's in the show notes. And can you let listeners know where they can find you? Kaitlin: Yeah. I am very active on Instagram at the beam life, like beam of light, B E a M. and also my podcast, the beam life podcast. So that can be anywhere you listen to podcast. Cara: Awesome. I am so thankful that you came on today and I'm so excited to be on your podcast as well. Kaitlin: Yes. We're gonna have a good time. Cara: yes, I'm excited. I'll talk a little bit more about your human design on that one too. So the things I didn't chat about, but [00:56:00] I really appreciate you coming on and I am excited to chat more with you soon. Thank you so much for joining me this week. If this was your first time. Welcome. And if you're joining me for previous episodes, thank you so much for coming back before you go, make sure you share my podcast with a friend or subscribe. Those few seconds make a big impact on my podcast and I'd be grateful for the support. I absolutely love this interview with Kaitlin. If you want to find out how to connect with her, check the show notes and all the links mentioned. This episode will be caradempsey.com/16. Check the show notes. See you next time.