Connecting to our Spirit and Healing the Mother Wound | Interview with Jhaynane Sung | #5

NOTE: This podcast was transcribed by an AI tool. Please forgive any typos or errors. Cara Dempsey 0:01 Welcome to floductivity, a place to inspire and empower women to embrace self love and self development for the perfect balance of productivity. I'm your host, Cara Dempsey, and I share ways to connect to your intuition through self care, cycle planning, spirituality, wellness, and everything in between. Thank you so much for joining me this week. If this is your first time, welcome. And if you've been with me here before, thank you so much for coming back. I'm so excited to join them in this journey as we learn together. I'm so excited to bring on Jhaynane and she is a holistic nutritionist, a Reiki practitioner, a third generation healer, and a wellness and spiritual life coach. She helps women heal through food, Shadow Work, and inner child work. We dig deep into this topic, and I can't wait to share all this insight with you. Welcome to the show, Janeane. Hi, hi. Jhaynane Sung 1:05 Hi. Thank you for having me. I'm so pleased to be with you and all your listeners. Cara Dempsey 1:09 Thanks. Well, I like to jump into the show with a question about self care. I would love to know what your self care practice that is non negotiable in your daily routine. Jhaynane Sung 1:21 So to me, it's all about trying to build a ritual every single day. And especially as a mom, it gets really tough. But for me, it will be either practicing and breath work or doing some yoga, or going outside in nature and going for a walk. Cara Dempsey 1:39 I love all those things. And I tried to do some of those as well. So I really love that you keep true to those because I find that they're powerful to keep coming back to yourself, because that's ultimately what self care is. Jhaynane Sung 1:53 Exactly, exactly. I just find it so peaceful. Because we live in a chaotic world, right. And sometimes we just need those few moments of stillness just to reconnect to our bodies into our minds. So if it's not in your routine, and you're thinking about it, just give it a shot. Cara Dempsey 2:12 Yes, I agree with that. I think anytime we can find a way to connect with ourselves, especially Mother Earth, and just listen to what our bodies are trying to tell us, I think is one of the most powerful practices we can do. Definitely, was there a defining moment you knew you were meant to help others on their path? Jhaynane Sung 2:31 From a very young age, whenever somebody who asked me what I want to do with my life, it was to help people. And in which capacity I never knew. I'm Haitian, my family's from Haiti. I was born here. And to all those who are, I guess, immigrants, we know that we have limited options, according to our parents as to what we could do. It was either being a doctor or a lawyer. And to me being a doctor, my father was a doctor and never interest me. But I knew there was a calling to the deeper calling to heal people. But it took me quite a while to figure out how to do that. And what spoke to me. So it took me at least 10 to 15 years, and I'm still discovering it today. Cara Dempsey 3:13 Yeah, I was gonna add that was my next question is Has it been an ever evolving process to kind of guide you? And what are you using in that journey to guide you? Is it connecting with your intuition? Jhaynane Sung 3:24 Yeah, so it's a multitude of things for me is first just following my passions. One thing that I learned on my spiritual journey is that our purpose is ever fluctuating, ever changing. And you just should follow your excitement. And that will lead you to wherever you're supposed to go. And the key is not to hold on to any expectations or insistence and just flow with it. And then it's my intuition. I stay a lot of times in meditation, or I'm a clear audience. So I could hear my guides telling me which way to go. And for a long time, I'm like, I don't want to do this. But when I finally decided to let go of control, and just listen, I figured out that it's actually something that I'm really interested in. Cara Dempsey 4:08 Yeah, I find that the whole topic of control always comes up in when life feels tough, and it doesn't feel like it is working for you. And that when you have that courage to let go of control, things feel a little bit easier, but more purposeful is ultimately the background of that. Jhaynane Sung 4:30 Exactly. And I just came back from a trip from Sedona and I met with somebody there. And she was telling me how, when life gets tough for myself, I tend to go to my mind, and I always try to find solutions in my mind. And I go like, endless circles, but then she's like, don't forget just to ask Spirit to guide you and let go. And I've been doing that and like the stress has been like melting off. So if you live in your mind sometimes just ask for Help, and just let it go. Because we don't know everything here on Earth. Cara Dempsey 5:05 That is so true, I find that I don't do very good work. When I'm in my mind, I have to get out of my mind in my body. And I have to remind myself that yoga and even journaling, I always fight journaling. But sometimes getting those things on paper helps remove them out of your mind so that you can feel a little bit better. Yes, I'm Jhaynane Sung 5:26 the same way when I don't know why it is about journaling. Maybe it's because I don't want get in touch with my feelings. But I get so resistant. I'm like, I don't want to do this. But the moment I do, I'm like, oh, okay, yeah, I need to do this. Cara Dempsey 5:38 Yes, definitely. I have to remind myself, and I feel like there's been a lot of things telling me like, hey, you know, to pick up that journal Get back in there. And I feel like it helps to, to not react in things. And I feel like sometimes when we're had too much like our reaction isn't ultimately what our body or our guides are telling us that we want to do. So maybe we need to keep our journals out to the accessible visual place to remind us because it's helpful. Yeah, definitely is, you're the second person that is brought up so Donette today. So I feel like someone's telling me that I need to think about going to to sit out as soon I've been once and I loved it. Jhaynane Sung 6:17 It's my it was my third time going. And every single time I go is a life changing experience. It's like all the messages that I've been either ignoring or not hearing. Once you step on that sacred ground, like boom, here it is act on it. Cara Dempsey 6:32 Yes, actually, I should say three times I think I had seen that it was there are certain places in the world that is like a portal connects you and the donor was one of them. So and the one time I went, I wasn't very in tune with myself or my body. So I'm sure I felt it. I know I did, because I had a really great experience. But I think now just having more of awareness of like my spiritual connection, I think that would be a powerful experience. Jhaynane Sung 6:59 Yeah, definitely go ASAP. Yes, check. Cara Dempsey 7:03 Alright, so I know, I've seen that you've had a personal story with having an eating disorder. And how does that affect you being a woman of color, Jhaynane Sung 7:12 the myth is that women of color, especially black women cannot develop eating disorders. And mine started when I was about roughly 14 years old, I would binge eat. Now at the time, I didn't know what it was, to me. It was just I was grabbing food just to feel comforted. And we don't talk about that stuff in our communities, like we don't know. And as I was growing up, I started seeing this trend. Whenever I'll be depressed, I'll turn to food, and I'll start binging. But again, I still didn't understand what it meant. Not until I went to my master's program for my nutrition. And that's when the doors were open. And my mind was like, Oh, my God, I've been suffering for so long. And I had no clue. But the thing is, when I was doing my studies, I'll try to research about women of color and eating disorders. And there is no literature, all it said was that black women or Hispanic women, or Asian women were less likely than white women to develop eating disorders. But just because they're less likely does not mean doesn't happen. So as I did more research, it took until maybe this year, there's been more research coming out stating that black teen girls are 50% more likely than white teens to develop eating disorders especially Oh, hold on, repeat that. Okay. So in my studies, recently, I found out that 50% of black teen girls are more likely to develop bulimia than their white counterparts, which was amazing, because we're actually finding out that this whole myth of being of color and eating disorders, there's no immunity to it. Everybody gets it. So if you're out there listening to this, and you feel like there's something wrong, and somebody tells you, oh, no, it's fine. You're immune to this. No, keep advocating for yourself, because there'll be somebody there to listen and to help you out. Cara Dempsey 9:03 Definitely, I think that is a common issue in general is when people aren't having their feelings honored. And just knowing that you're not alone in it, that I'm sure the journey itself has been difficult for you, but to know that you're not alone. And that in the process that you can help other women who feel alone in their in their process Jhaynane Sung 9:24 with it. Exactly, definitely. Cara Dempsey 9:27 How does the mother wound affect our self esteem and our eating habits, Jhaynane Sung 9:32 a lot of things actually happen through modeling. And when your mother has low self esteem, it is going to rub off on the child. You could try to protect your child as much as you want. But if you're talking ill about yourself, they're going to listen and they're going to absorb that every person has some type of issue with their parent. Let's be honest here. It could be minute it could be huge. But when your mother tells you things like for example, don't eat that. She may be saying that out of love, but the child might be processing as I'm doing something bad. Or if she tells you maybe shouldn't wear that, oh, the kid might be thinking, Am I too fat and my unlovable. So even though us mothers are trying to protect our child, it could be misunderstood, understandably, by the child themselves, and develop deep, deep wounds within themselves that 1020 30 years later, they're still trying to process it. So our eating behaviors are directly correlated to our emotional and our mental and our physical, but also to our attachments to our parents, and how they have raised us now, have you ever heard, of course, you heard this, finish your plate, finishing your plate is another way that parents or mothers make us develop disturbed eating patterns, because in their minds is comes from a scarcity mindset, meaning from the Great Depression, when you had a lack of food, you had to make sure you finish your plate, but what instills into the child is I have to over eat, even though I'm completely full. So it also turned into resentment of the child towards the mother, because she's making me do something that I don't want to do. But also it gives you that mental seed saying that I need to finish everything, even if I don't feel good, because mom or dad said, so there's lots of layers to this, this could go on for a long, long time. But just make it short. Just be it try to be mindful of the words you use with your child because you never know which one's going to happen or how they're going to receive it. And if your child might be a little bit husky, allow them to be everybody has different bodies. And that's okay. Cara Dempsey 11:35 Yeah, that's so important to work through. Now. Do you find this is something that you had to work on with yourself now being a mother? And is it something that you've had to bring awareness to your mother to also work through Jhaynane Sung 11:49 who that's deep. So with my personal experience with my mother, she said, all those things to me, don't eat that don't do this, blah, blah, blah. So for me, rebellion was eat this 10 times more, and I've tried to bring it up to her. However, there's cultural differences. And in my culture, you don't really try to reproach your parents, and they're not going to listen to it. And of course, she didn't listen to it. But I'm okay with it. Because I got out what I need to say. And I didn't have expectations of her opening up and understanding where I was coming from. And definitely with my daughter, I definitely watch what I say. And if she doesn't want to finish eating something, I don't tell her to finish it. I'm like, Okay, fine. And she's a picky eater right now, for now. So it can be difficult to because I want her to eat her broccoli or her vegetables. And she's like, No, if it's drained, she's like, No, but understand that eventually, she'll warm up to it, as long as I present it to her and not trying to force it down her throat. Cara Dempsey 12:51 There's probably a lot of us out there who are trying to heal things that we may be needed or didn't need in our childhood. And knowing your experience of like you got what you need out of it is so empowering for my my personal thing, too. So thank you for sharing that. So you're saying to begin this to heal this wound? You know, having your own child you're just being aware of how you're presenting it to her. But what what did you need to do to heal yourself entirely? Jhaynane Sung 13:22 First, I don't think ever heal ourselves entirely. Yes, that's true, unless you become an enlightened being, which is totally possible. But right now, I'm not there. Yes. For me, it took a lot. It took me to go into therapy at first hypnotherapy as how I learned about the inner child. So I started doing inner child work. And then I just started to meditate and becoming more introspective. And I just dove really deep into spirituality and understanding why I was feeling the way that I was feeling and understanding that everything that has happened in my life was for my benefit, even though it didn't quite feel right. Once I started shifting my mindset and not being into the victim mentality, things just start to shift naturally. And my perfect all the time about it. No, because I'm human. But when I catch myself, and I really pause and ask myself, Why am I being triggered? Or why am I upset and sit with my inner child or just journal or meditate, things become clearer, and I just am able to let it go? Cara Dempsey 14:22 Yeah, all those things are so powerful, just having that space for yourself. I found that a lot of the things that I wanted externally, I maybe wasn't getting because I wasn't giving them to myself internally. And I think having that practice of meditation coming back within and journaling and just, you know, knowing when it's time to seek help, we can't do it all ourselves and we can't expect other people who maybe don't understand our perspective can support us in that finding those right resources is probably the best thing you can always do and trying to heal yourself. So I think that it's good that you've taken the idea and You've seen things for our highest good when we look at it, and we step out of that victim mentality, because I definitely went through that myself. So I feel that Jhaynane Sung 15:08 and this to piggyback on what you were saying about finding the right resources in tribal culture, everybody works with each other. And we kind of lost that here out west, because we're all individual base. Once you leave home, we leave home and you're independent, but building your tribe and finding those who are able and willing to help you is the greatest medicine of all, because that's how you know, you're not alone in this, like, you may feel alone, but you're never alone. If you could reach out to somebody and ask for help. Cara Dempsey 15:35 Definitely. And I feel like those make the best healers because they help people feel like they're not alone, because they went through it themselves. You know, you feel that support. So does your Haitian background. Does that have that tribal culture? Does that stem from it? Jhaynane Sung 15:51 I would say yes. And no, to a certain extent, family is very, very important. But I grew up in a different with different family dynamics, still very Hastings, my mom, and my mom and my father are both from Haiti, because we grew up in the DC area where there were not many Haitians, it wasn't like that huge community tribal feeling. Cara Dempsey 16:13 Okay. Yeah. And I'm sure that's hard, too. Because if your parents experienced that, and then came to somewhere new that didn't have that background, you know, it's a whole new navigation system for them in the process to just figuring out how to get that in a whole new place. Right. When did they come to the US? Jhaynane Sung 16:32 Oh, my father came, I believe in the 70s. Because he was a doctor and my mom came, she first went to Canada, then she moved to DC to pursue. I don't know, she was pursuing nursing. That's where they met. They met in DC. Okay, so she came back in the 60s. Cara Dempsey 16:46 Okay. Yeah. So I mean, they've had some some time here. And, you know, their majority of their adult life has been in the US. So trying to navigate that, I'm sure has been different for them, too. Oh, yeah, definitely. So I would love to hear some ways that we can connect with our inner child to maybe heal some of those issues that we've kind of taken on as we've gotten older. Jhaynane Sung 17:06 So one way this is my preferred way, is to go into a meditation and just ask set an intention to meet with your inner child, if you never connected with them. Don't be surprised if they show up. And they don't want anything to do with you. Because they may not feel protected or safe enough to approach you. So if you are willing to meet with them several times a week, eventually they'll warm up to you. And also the next thing is to be like a kid, do things that you wanted to do as a child, if you always like to go on the swings, go on a swing, go to a park, have fun, I am planning to get a Barbie Dream House because I never got one as a kid. And I want it. So that's how I plan to do it. Draw swim, just be childlike. I know a lot of times when people think of inner child healing, they think about the traumatic experiences, and they try to relive those and try to heal from that. But I find that that's, well, that's fine. But also, if you just have fun, that's Oh, another way to connect and also heal your inner child. Cara Dempsey 18:09 Yeah, definitely. I have done a few inner child meditations myself. And I was very surprised that I was taken to all the places I used to hide, I didn't see me, I saw the places I used to hide and it showed that reoccurring when I'm when I'm hurt, or when I feel not heard that I tend to retract and hide in those different areas. And so I definitely get that it takes some time to connect and make them feel safe. Because you know, they process things in a in a different way that you know, you just have to honor them, and when they're ready, and they'll come and so anybody that hasn't done that, I encourage them to give them patience and space and love and just come from a place of love. Right? Jhaynane Sung 18:52 Yeah, yeah, of course. And connecting to inner child may seem foreign to certain people. But I guarantee you, once you start doing it, your life will start feeling much lighter and happier, the more you're able to connect within because life on this planet is hard, and it's very dense, and it could get very tiring and stressful. But if you decide not to take life as serious as you know, we're told to take it and just be a kid that is one of the golden keys to living a happier life. Cara Dempsey 19:23 Kiana and I think we show our children, you know that we don't you know, we just to a you have to bring joy into your everyday life for the for to feel joy and showing them is an is a different way than telling them you know, we have to actually show them to do it. And I definitely feel that I had a roller skating party for my daughter this weekend and I forgot how much I relied on roller skating. That was my thing as a child and I remembered it but I forgot how much it brought me joy and I was hoping that my mind I would like it more than she did. And I was I'll give her the chance to make that choice over time. But, you know, it was still nice to kind of, she could go play games and I kind of went around the roller rink by myself and just connected. And so any you know, there's so many different ways that you can connect with your child, and there's no wrong way to do it. Jhaynane Sung 20:19 Yeah, and the thing is, we've as adults, we never really noticed or know how much of great teachers our children can be to us. They are teaching us how to live be spontaneous, jump, cry, laugh, express yourself, do whatever that feels, right. Because as we get older, we lose that connection to the joy within bills and everything like that trust. Bills are a big one and work and not being happy. But when you have a kid, that we teach them things, yeah, that's right. But they teach us so much more and more valuable lessons than we give them credit for. Cara Dempsey 20:58 Oh, yes, I feel like my children just just on an emotional stance, I don't think I've ever really know how to express my feelings. And watching them have these feelings and giving them space to be able to feel them. Honor them has been such a practice that they're teaching me how to do and I'm just trying to, you know, learn as much as I can embrace that childlike spark and not demean it. Jhaynane Sung 21:25 Yeah, exactly, exactly. I think that our generation, we're learning how to allow our children just to be kids and not forcing them to be what we think kids should be. So I think every generation is doing a little bit better when it comes to raising their child to be more conscious. Cara Dempsey 21:42 Definitely, I feel like when you put a certain stipulation on what a child, an adult, anything can do, it really dims who they are, and then they lose the ability to trust in their own intuition, because they're relying on outside sources to guide them. And then when they get to an adult, it's really hard to say like, oh, that doesn't make me feel good. You just do it. Because you think you're supposed to. Exactly, you know, yeah, I mean, we still have to pay bills and stuff that doesn't feel all that great. But yeah. But you know, the the things that we have control over the things that you know, are really up to us is make us happy, keep those things alive within us and our children. So yeah, I feel like children are meant to evolve the parents. In the same way, you know, yes. I wanted to take a quick break from this episode to talk to you about digital planning. Have you tried digital planning? Do you even know what digital planning is? It's something I fell in love with. As soon as I tried it, it helps me stay on top of life. Keep focused, and bring up my most productive self, I feel less overwhelmed, and can tackle more of life's daily tasks. If you want to learn more, check out my blog post at caradempsey.com/digital planner, you can download my free digital business planner, which will help decide if digital planning is right for you. Even if you don't have a business, download the free digital planner for free at caradempsey.com/digital planner or find a link in the show notes. This special gift won't be there for long, so make sure to sign up now. Thanks and enjoy the rest of the episode. I'd love to circle around back to just healing like food trauma and how maybe practicing gratitude can help someone in that process. Jhaynane Sung 23:42 So this goes back to what I was saying earlier that everything happens for your benefit. And when we think about our food traumas, either if it's being on a diet from 12 to like the rest of your life, or experiencing a eating disorder or everything in between, just look back and try to learn the lessons that you're supposed to learn. Because before we even come into this world, we have agreements, we're going to learn certain lessons and this is how it's going to happen. And all those lessons are hard. They're traumatic, they bring you through the wringer is difficult. But instead of complaining about what happened to see how it made you the person you are today, there's always going to have some negative things in your life. But if you could appreciate those negative things as lessons learned, then just changing that simple mindset can help you with depression. It can help you with anxiety, it can help you change your relationship with food because food right is really there to nourish you. But if you have this long attachment to food to make you feel better. There's a deeper reason why there's always a deeper reason why I don't care who you are. There's a deeper reason why. And when you start looking at the whys in your life and why you turn to food for comfort And you unpack those, and you say, you know, they sucked, but I can see how it benefited me, then slowly, you'll be able to change a relationship with food with yourself with everything around you, and have a more positive outlook. Cara Dempsey 25:15 Yeah, I definitely agree with that. I feel like things are really hard in the moments, but I feel like everything that I've been through, has made me you know, the person I am today. And you know, I wouldn't take any of that back. It's, it's hard, but you know, it's all in our highest good. It's exactly, at least my hope for it, opens our eyes teaches us new lessons, whatever it may be. One of the things that I've realized in my food journey is that when I do certain behaviors that are not for my healthiest, it's when things feel out of control in my life, I then use food as a controlling factor. You know, it's like you said, finding that underlying issue that you may have and figuring out why you're doing it because it doesn't come down to the food comes down to whether it's putting those feelings deep down, not letting those emotions come out and letting that food control us and not in a good way, because it is supposed to nourish us, right? Jhaynane Sung 26:19 Yeah. And that's the thing. It's all about control. Everything's about control. And when we try to control our feelings, because we're told that we can't be upset, we have to be happy, can't be mad. So you're oppressed and you repress in your repressed that energy has to come out another way. Some people smoke, some people eat some people over exercise, some people don't exercise, it's just our this boils down to our energy bodies. And when our emotional body is not able to release all those emotions, then it's going to appear in your physical self, it appears so many ways. So when you stuffed everything down best believe all of your negative behaviors, while say that much a stem a lot of times because you're not expressing yourself, you're not being your true authentic self. So you're trying to put a bandaid which could be food to make yourself feel better. But if you just open your throat chakra and say what you really want to say even if it's on a piece of paper, maybe you don't turn to food, or maybe you don't turn to cigarettes to make yourself feel better. Cara Dempsey 27:27 Yeah, definitely. And I think that's a good segue into how energy healing can help are our eating habits. Is there anything that you can kind of give us guidance? Jhaynane Sung 27:38 Yeah, so I practice Reiki and when you will use Reiki a basically unblocks certain traumas that you may be experiencing subconsciously. So it goes back to maybe your emotions, for example, or if there was a traumatic events, Reiki is very gentle. So it never brings to the surface, what you can't handle in that moment, but it brings to light everything that you've been stuffing down. So as you release the emotions or thoughts or the traumas from your energy bodies, it helps you to understand yourself better, helps to release what's been stuck and stagnant and recenter as you so when it comes to food when you practice Reiki on off once I mean practice Reiki on you and you have all these realizations, food is not become your crutch, because you're better able to express or feel what you're supposed to feel you're able to move on with your life. Now, am I saying you can never have a brownie? If you feel sad? No, if you really want to brownie have a brownie, but just realize that there may be an underlying reason for you to seek that comfort? Cara Dempsey 28:46 Yeah, do you find being a Reiki practitioner, you can tend to your own energetic needs, or do you need to find like outside sources for yourself? Jhaynane Sung 28:56 No, that's a great thing about Reiki I can do on myself, I do on everything, water, my body and my husband, my dogs, everything. So it's very, very useful. And I'll say this much. If you're interested in Reiki, and the Reiki practitioner tells you you have to come in like three times a week, just gotta tune yourself. And you can just do your Reiki on yourself. Cara Dempsey 29:14 Reiki has always intrigued me. And that's why I was asking this because I would ultimately want to learn more about Reiki more for my own benefit than to practice on other people. So I just wondered if having it as a tool for myself would be beneficial. Jhaynane Sung 29:30 Yeah, so I'll give you a little insight. If you decide to get attuned to Reiki, when you get Reiki one, you have a 21 day healing Reiki practice you have to do on yourself. And the things that come up can be wild, but it feel once it's done, you feel a lot lighter, but you have to do it to purify your own vessel so you're better able to help somebody else. Cara Dempsey 29:54 Yeah, that makes so much sense. I was a hairdresser for 19 years and I feel like my I just general energetic body would have been so much better attuned if I knew how to protect my energetic bent boundaries and cleanse it before each client's because I felt like I would be so energetically just bounded down by the time I would get home because I didn't understand what energetic boundaries were. So that makes so much sense. Jhaynane Sung 30:23 Yeah, and I'll also say not only energetic boundaries, but also boundaries in general. We just need better boundaries, especially for empaths. We tend to have our energies drained, because first of all, we allow it to be drained, because we don't set the proper boundaries to protect ourselves. So you could wear all the crystals you want, you could do everything you want. But if you don't have strong boundaries, Cara Dempsey 30:47 no, you're right, I really had no boundaries. For myself, I just did not care for myself in a way that was good for maybe I withheld food, just because I was busy all day. And you know, ultimately, it was up to me when I could take breaks and nourish myself, and I just didn't know how. So just even setting boundaries for myself would have been a huge practice back then. And I've just been just been slowly trying to build them back up. And, you know, I still don't think I'd go back to doing hair knowing all this, but I know that I hope any of my hairdresser friends that are listening, understand that there's certain things they can do in their daily life that only take a few minutes that can really help protect themselves. Because you know, it's up to us. That's kind of what it comes down to. We can't expect other people to do it for us. Jhaynane Sung 31:36 There's also a quick book that I've been reading myself called set boundaries, find peace by Nidra Taleb, I'm sorry, if I mispronounce your last name, it's an excellent book to help you set boundaries and just step back into your power. So for everyone listening, pick up set boundaries, find peace by Nidre table up or to walk to a WW A B, Cara Dempsey 31:59 I'll put it in the show notes, I feel like boundaries is you know, a huge thing. I think some people may have always been good at it. And some people didn't know that it was something that you were supposed to have. And I think anywhere you're at is perfect and fine. But understanding that if someone doesn't like the boundaries that you set, that's probably a more of them thing than a you thing. And so just honoring what feels good to you is been a big step in creating those boundaries. Because when you don't have them, and then you set them apart, people that aren't used to that will be definitely thrown for a loop. So takes patience from everyone building boundaries. Jhaynane Sung 32:38 You said exactly I was gonna say to so perfect. Cara Dempsey 32:41 I would love to hear more about the holy trinity of healing with our minds, body and soul. Yeah, so Jhaynane Sung 32:48 when we think of healing, people either tend to think mental health or their physical body, but they always forget our soul or a spirit because all of them are interconnected together. I like to say that spirituality is like the other side of the coin to science, they'll work together to make ourselves if you believe it or not, I'm sure your listeners do. We're all connected spirit. We're all spiritual beings. It's all intertwined together. But when we let it, go to this on the wayside, and just focus on the physical or the mental aspect, we're losing a huge part of ourselves. Even if you think about our seven energy bodies, that's all spiritual, you'll never find that in any science book. They don't talk about it. But it's really important to dig deep into your spirituality, whichever practice you choose, I'm not saying you have to do it like me, or do it like Cara, but you could do it your own way. Find your own way, because your spirit is basically your blueprint. And if your blueprints not doing well, how do you think the rest of your body or your cells is going to react, they're going to mirror that deficiency or the DIS ease happening in your auric field or in your blueprint and manifest in the physical or in the mental and emotional. So once you have all of those aspects, working together, you will start flowing in life, but you just have to make sure you do all of it together. Cara Dempsey 34:13 Yeah, that's so powerful. I feel like I've done a lot of healing with myself and my mind, body and most importantly, my soul. And I think I started with my mind and body. But once I was really trying to figure out like a career and a passion, I had to dig into my soul to figure out what that was. And I know there are some people who maybe don't understand the concept of spirit and soul, you know, and that's their own journey to find. But for me, following what feels good to me, I have to feel it in my soul to kind of move forward and I think my burnout, my lack of boundaries all happens because I never let that soul shine through. Jhaynane Sung 34:54 i Yes, that's exactly it. So I've been like listening to Dara onca who channels Bashar, I'm not sure if you know of him of him? Well, Bashar is like a entity anyways. And he talks about the formula. Again, following your excitement, following your excitement just means whatever you're passionate about, go for it and go for it. Because you never know what doors may open. But the problem is when you have an expectation of how it's going to end up and doesn't end up that way. That's how you cause like sadness and depression or like negative energies attract to you because you have the expectation. But if you just do it, because you think it's fun, and you just want to have fun with your life, then you do it. So when you listen to your soul, or to your body, or whatever, you want to call it intuition, and you just follow that excitement without insistence and expectations, you'll just start having things come to you left and right. And you'll be like, Wow, mind blown. Cara Dempsey 35:53 Yeah, I definitely feel that it has been a huge part of my journey the last couple years is, I think I've always had this disappointment, because my expectations were always there. And sometimes when you just release that, and you do things because they make you feel good. It's definitely led me to more things that make me feel good. You know, I don't think anybody has it all figured out. I know, I certainly don't. But I know that the way I feel right now versus what I felt years ago is very different. And, you know, I would rather go with the flow of what feels good than fighting for control, because it left me in a place of anxiety and depression and not feeling good. You know, you don't have to leave your career of 19 years to do that. But if you can implement those things that make your soul happy before work after work with your children, with your family, you know, you can create that spark back in and you never know what the next day will bring. Jhaynane Sung 36:49 Exactly. And just like said, you don't have to leave your job. But if you have a side hustle, and it brings you joy, and that side hustles bring you more happiness, and you start making money, maybe you don't need to have a nine to five anymore, and just letting go. And the side hustle could actually become your true passion and your job. Cara Dempsey 37:06 Yeah, that's kind of the hope I have for people is, you know, you don't have to have this soul sucking career that leaves you no time with your family. You know, I think there's other ways you just have to kind of change your perception of what success is. That's kind of where it starts. Jhaynane Sung 37:20 Yes, yes, yes. Yes. Can you say one more time you just Cara Dempsey 37:24 got to change your perception of success. What feels good to you, you know, I love that. I love that. Okay, so I know we talked a little bit about inner child work. But I would love to talk about how Shadow Work can help overcome reoccurring obstacles. Jhaynane Sung 37:41 So first, let's talk about the shadow. The shadow is the aspect of yourself that lives in darkness and holds all of your BS, everything that you don't want to deal with. And it's hold it for you. And the reason why the shadow has a bad rap is because it knows everything about you that you don't want to show to other people or even to yourself. So what shadow work does, it brings to light every hurt every trauma, every angry spell everything about you. And there's many ways of doing shadow work. You can even do shadow work with journal prompts. It doesn't have to be a huge ceremony. But when you do shadow work, just prepared to have lots of tears and just express anger or any emotion that comes up because I think that's one thing that we don't do in our society is truly express ourselves. Because we have to put on these masks we had to put on masks because we believe if we put on mask is how we are loved. But the true love comes from within. And when we repress everything about ourselves, then how can we say we love ourselves, right? So shadow work brings up every little dirty secret everything and just brings it to light and the goal is to bring your shadow to light meaning have become one with yourself and you just love it as much as you love everything that's positive in your life, all the negative as well. Yeah, Cara Dempsey 39:05 I feel like Shadow Work is such a huge part in when you're trying to heal acknowledging those shadow parts of yourself because we've been taught to hide them with those masks. And you know, I saw someone suggest anytime that you do some shadow work and this has made me more apt to actually do shadow work is to make sure you plan for self care afterwards so that you can nourish yourself after you went through that. You know it's like dealing with a problem and then saying okay, you did this let's nurture love ourselves in the way that feels good to us. Yeah, Jhaynane Sung 39:39 I second that is really important. And just to add to it, when you do shadow work, let's say you do do a whole weekend of shadow work, the true change is going to happen afterwards. Things are thinking Think about it this way when you go to the beach and you go on the water and you like shift the sand the sediment some of us don't like up, then that all of it all at once, so when things start to settle down in life, it might come right back up. But that's okay. Because you may have been blocking your shuttle cell for such a long time that it takes weeks and weeks or maybe months for things to clear out. And you may have to do it more than once. Actually, you will have to do it more than once. Because healing is a process and you can never really be fully healed unless, again, reach enlightenment, or whatever you believe in. But it's just to be easy on yourself, practice self care, take some time off and relax, go and book yourself a massage, or drink some warm tea and listen to your favorite music or even journal if that brings you peace. Cara Dempsey 40:39 Yeah, definitely. I had heard that just in general, something like burnout can take three to five years to heal. And so just in general, knowing that everything's ultimately an ever evolving process, and the most important thing in Shadow Work, recovering from whatever you're doing is the most important thing you can do in that process is to find a way to love yourself through it, because you need that love from yourself to get through it because it's all hard. Yeah, so really is Jhaynane Sung 41:11 actually I did a shadow. On my birthday last year, what a birthday full of tears a weekend full of tears, and I'm still feeling the After Effects. Right now. It's much better, but it was very intense. So definitely take care of yourself as much as you can. Cara Dempsey 41:29 Yeah, I think that's the point of life is you got to take care of yourself to be able to do life in a way that's good for you and the people around you. Because if you're not, the people are gonna get not the good version of you. And you know, it's just gonna suck the life out of everyone. Yeah, definitely. Yes. Yes. So I would love to know more about holistic nutrition. Yeah, so Jhaynane Sung 41:53 holistic nutrition, all it really is, in my opinion, is looking at the whole person, not just what they're putting in their body through food, but looking at their behaviors, understanding their emotional well being understanding their triggers, but also bringing spiritual aspects to it. Because food is so much more than just counting calories or energy. We have an emotional attachment to food. I mean, we celebrate with food, we mourn with food we eat because we're bored. So there's a complex relationship with it. So just addressing the physical aspects is not enough. Yeah, Cara Dempsey 42:31 that makes sense. I would love to know, if you had to go back in time and tell a certain version of yourself a younger version, what would you tell her? Jhaynane Sung 42:39 It's all going to be okay. Like, just let go. And allow yourself to feel the emotions, but it's all gonna be okay. And don't ever try to go back and change things because roll to not just fine. That's great. Cara Dempsey 42:51 I feel like that's a very common thing said when anybody has something to tell their younger selves, I think no matter what age, you know, yeah, yeah. So what are some things that listeners can take home today to work on their relationship with food, Jhaynane Sung 43:05 trust your body, allow your body to tell you what it needs, it may need a doughnut one day, it may need some greens, the other but your body knows more than you allow it to know. I mean, allow it Your body knows more than you know, and don't be so hard on yourself. Yeah, that's so true. It's okay. Like, I think that in this world, where diet culture is so rampant, that people will have cheat days, or they think there's good food and bad food. And when they have those things we will attach soon, my friend just beat themselves down so much out of shame. But enjoy life. If you are healthy, meaning you have no like diseases or anything like that going on in your life, you can be healthy at any size, you could, you know, you can be unhealthy at any size. If you're truly happy with yourself, it will reflect itself in your food choices as well. Cara Dempsey 43:58 Yeah, that's so true. So to wrap up, I would love to hear what offerings that you have to help women in their journey. Jhaynane Sung 44:06 So right now I am working on a new program focusing on empowerment of women through breath work. So you can do that with me. And we could do one on ones either spiritual life coaching, food coaching, a mixture of both, I like to do a mixture of both and just, you know, hit me up on Instagram, and we could chat if you feel like it. Cara Dempsey 44:27 Perfect. I'll make sure all that is in the show notes. And I just want to thank you so much for coming on and sharing your wisdom and your personality. And I loved having you on here so much. So thank you and thank you for having me and Jhaynane Sung 44:41 it's been an honor. Thanks. We Cara Dempsey 44:43 will chat soon my friend. Thank you so much for joining me this week. If this was your first time welcome. And if you join me for previous episodes, thank you so much for coming back. Before you go make sure you share my podcasts with a friend or subscribe if you haven't yet. Those few seconds make a big impact on my At Cass and I would be grateful for the support check out the show notes for links to Jhaynane's Instagram and website. Her free breathwork workshop her soon to be launched podcast called feminine unleashed and the complete show notes with all the links mentioned in today's episode go ahead and visit caradempsey.com/five. That's also where you can download my free digital business planner which can help plan for productivity. Download the digital business planner for free at caradempsey.com/free planner or find the link in the show notes. Thank you again for joining me in this episode of floductivity. Until next time