From Burnout To Balance | Interview with Dr. Mary Sanders #18

NOTE: This podcast was transcribed by an AI tool. Please forgive any typos or errors. 18 | Mary Sanders INTRO: [00:00:00] Welcome to floductivity, a place to inspire and empower women to embrace self-love and self-development for the perfect balance of productivity. I'm your host, Cara Dempsey. And I share ways to connect to your intuition through self care cycle planning, spirituality, wellness, and everything in between. Thank you so much for joining me this week. If this is your first time. Welcome. And if you've been with me here before, thank you so much for coming back. I'm so excited to join you in this journey. As we learn together. Cara: Dr. Mary has over 25 plus years of experience as a self-employed businesswoman and consultant. And 15 years ago, she experienced burnout firsthand and crashed hard. At the time. She didn't have the necessary tools or resources to navigate the [00:01:00] difficult period in her life. So she panicked and ran away to the other side of the world. Now she is wholeheartedly committed to supporting women who want to transform the way they show up in this world and to experience thriving health, happiness, and purpose, utilizing the tools of energy medicine, chiropractic, functional blood chemistry analysis, and positive psychology. Welcome to the show, Mary. Mary: Thank you so much, Kara. I really appreciate the opportunity to be here with you today. And before we get started, I just want to applaud you for all the efforts that you go through in order to support women in their empowerment and aligning with their purpose. So kudos to you and you rock sister, you keep on going. Cara: my gosh. Thank you so much. I really appreciate that. I just have this passion to help other women. So I, um, appreciate that you recognize that. one of the first questions I love to jump into is what are some non-negotiables in your self-care routine? Mary: [00:02:00] Okay. So before I start sharing Kara, I have to share with you. I'm pretty rigid. Very rigid. So my routine first thing in the morning is I show up on my yoga mat. I'm there every day, five days out of the week, hot yoga. Then I come home, I get cleaned, I get showered. And then I sit, I have a formal sitting meditation. And then from there, I supply myself with my nutraceuticals and a healthy breakfast, and I'm committed to balance. I'm committed to the work life balance. I'm committed to my sleep cycle. I'm committed to connecting with myself in more than more ways than one, and really grounding into present time consciousness. So I do have a sense in the midst of my rigidity, I do have the sense of being able to flow with what the day allows and what it brings forth. Cara: love that. I would love to know how much time that you spend in sitting meditation since you're so [00:03:00] rigid with. Mary: At the very least 20 minutes in the morning. Cara: Okay. I like to hear that I, um, can be rigid sometimes. And then other times I'm free flowing and I'm also in this year. One of my words is balance is finding that balance between work self care, myself, my family, and just trying to find that I'm right in the middle of the two, because sometimes I dive really hard into work and sometimes I dive really hard into self care. And so just, balance is key. So I like to know that that's part of yours and that sounds like a really great way to start your day. I found that when my morning routine lags the rest of my day lags too. I always love to hear when someone has a strong morning purposeful routine and that helps kind of flow into their day. Mary: So thank you for sharing with Yeah, I have to tell you though, Kara, um, it hasn't always been this way. So, um, the rigidity comes [00:04:00] from a place of necessity. So I know life experience has taught me that if I don't put myself first, nobody else is gonna do that for me. If I don't demand this time for myself, nobody else is gonna offer it to me. So by, you know, experiential wisdom shows us everything, and that's why I covet that time. That's why I get to be so rigid with it. Cara: Yeah. What was the turning point? Um, around what age, if you don't mind sharing, did you get to a point where you realize that you Mary: 40. Cara: 40. Okay. I'm a year away from that. Mary: Embrace it embrace Cara: Yes. I've started that journey the last few years where I realized that I was living in this like self pity, reality of like, what about me? What about me? And expecting other people to make those boundaries, to make those things that I needed for me. And then I realized, wait, that's not their job. That's my job. So how do they know what I need if I don't express what I need? And [00:05:00] so just being verbal about the things I need and also having room for pivoting, because, things don't always go our way as we would like, but, um, knowing that it's up to us to change. So don't wait until you're 40. If you're younger than that, everyone start implementing that stuff now Mary: I couldn't agree with you more. Um, the sooner you start the better off you'll be. Cara: Yeah. It's those hard things that you get to a point of realizing. And I, I know just from watching afar that as women hit their forties and as they create that momentum, like they get to a point where they're like, Ugh, why did I care about what people thought about me? Why did I, , have this, all my energy going into this like external circumstances that I had no control over. It's like, let's take charge of our life and take control of it. And if we wanna feel better in the morning, it's up to us to change our routine. And if we are feeling overwhelmed and burnt out, it's up to us to figure out how to get out of that. Get out of that, like,[00:06:00] pulling this down, how can we lift ourselves up in the process? I would love to talk about energy and how old traumas and limiting beliefs can hold us back or show up in our life. Marker Mary: That's a loaded one and perfect transition. Actually, I do believe that our trauma, our life experiences from a neurological perspective, um, are wired within our neurology first and foremost. And our nerves are what connect to the cells within our body and the tissues within our body. So I believe that life experiences and trauma at any age gets stored within our physical body. so you take that coupled with the human energetic system. So you have your physical body and within the physical body, you have a chakra system. And within, in surrounding the physical body, you have a, biofield also known as an ORIC system. So when [00:07:00] there is an intrusion or trauma, their energy comes through the ORIC field and enters into the chakra system, which ultimately affects the endocrine system, which then travels to the central nervous system. So when you're looking to overcome limiting belief systems, and you're looking to overcome the traumas in the life experiences, it serves us to work the neurology, the brain, the, or field, the shocker system in the human body collectively, and very integrative. Cara: that's so powerful. I know, um, one of my own experiences is, uh, a trauma I went through as a child and it was something that I always knew about, I've heard of people saying like they realize a trauma that they went through and mine was about being left home. An accident. There was miscommunication between someone dropping me off when I was four and a parent being home and, [00:08:00] going through the steps, I worked with a, um, athe healer and we went through the steps to ultimately make my inner child feel safe again, that it was okay. And bringing up that trauma, was the best thing that I did was because I knew it was there. I didn't think it affected me that much, but really going back and kind of connecting with my inner child, telling her that it's safe and that it's okay. And, it took some time, but knowing that the way I felt afterwards was like, a part of me healed, like a part of me got empowered again, I was letting this little tiny four year old girl inside. Be scared. Think that I was alone in this journey. That's ultimately what it came down to was what I'm trying to do. I felt so alone in this journey and the moment that I acknowledged it and I, walked her through and made her feel safe again, it was like, I could show up as myself. I could be empowered to be who I was meant to be. And so I [00:09:00] can definitely see how old traumas can affect your energy system, because it was like, I awoke, I was ready to step into this authentic self. And I didn't know how to do that. I had no idea how to be myself until I went and said, it's okay. You know, you're fine. You're safe. You had a moment of, the scared experience. We don't have to hold onto that anymore. It's time to go forward. So yeah, I do feel like there's a huge connection between energy and traumas and, even the limited beliefs, because I had this belief of, I couldn't be my authentic self because she wasn't welcomed? Mary: Mm-hmm Kara, thank you so much for sharing that story. Um, I. I. Can't help, but to share with you, if I, if you don't mind me sharing, um, when I listen to you from an intuitive perspective, and when I scan your field, when you're sharing that story, it shows up within your first chakra. And as far as human design, that's corresponds to [00:10:00] the root chakra. And so it's all about trusting the universe that you are literally safe. So physically safe, emotionally safe, spiritually connected. And with that comes so many different components in that chakra itself, it can affect how you show up as far as alignment with your purpose. It can show up how you interact with yourself as far as how safe you feel with yourself and your own emotion. It can influence how you show up in relationships, how you show up within your tribe and how you put yourself forth in the community. So it's so multilayered and what you're experiencing is the truth. And as you went through the theta healing, there was a release, it sounds, and it feels like there was a release from the perspective of the polyvagal theory and that the central nervous system you were witnessed in your healing, you [00:11:00] created a safe environment for your inner beautiful child and girl to be witnessed. This was traumatic. It was valid to have the response that you had. So to go through and to release that that is transformative Cara and, and, and I'm sure that you held onto it for as long as you needed to hold onto it until divine timing took over and said enough, I'm gonna heal this. This is the time. Cara: Yeah, I definitely agree in divine timing. And my experience in that was I kept having this like reoccurring, behaviors for me. And some people that are really close to me and I realized for that cycle to be ended, I had to stop letting my toxic behaviors come through in that I was playing a part in it. And I had to take a step back and say, what part am I playing in this? It's not just the behaviors. It's not just externally. It's also me. So what can I do to help this? Because I don't like this. I [00:12:00] don't like how this keeps coming up. It's reoccurring. And when I see a situation reoccurring it's. You're meant to heal it. What's the definition of insanity. It's doing the same thing and expecting a different result. So I really did have to look at it. How can I change the results? How can I do this? And, the beautiful thing of going back to that day where I was, left alone was I went from hiding to one place to hiding in another place. And I find that when I feel abandoned or when I feel not supported, I hide whether that's social media, whether that's from friends and family. And so that was another reoccurring pattern that I saw was when I don't feel supported, I disappear. When are people gonna see me, but how are they supposed to see me if I'm. Hiding. And it shows us where we need to heal, where we need to give ourselves love. And, the beautiful thing about it is, is even at that age, I loved being by myself. But I think you know, in a family [00:13:00] that's not always allowed or available. And so it was reassuring to know. She liked being by herself. And then I finally was like, oh, I do like being by myself. I was trying to show up differently to always be around people. And I never realized that energetics of being around a lot of people's overwhelming to me. So it was also clarity to say, it's okay to be by yourself. It's okay. That you need time to kind of reset and assess my own needs because when I'm around all these people, I am always looking at other people, uh, how I can help them assessing what they need and reading the room and reading emotions. I'm built that way. So sometimes I don't know how to look within when I'm around other people. Mary: Two things. And the first thing is, as I was listening to the first portion of what you were discussing, I couldn't help, but to really feel the importance and the impact of the healing that you've done. So I believe in the whole multiverse [00:14:00] concept, meaning that there is no linear concept of time. And so the healing that you have done literally is retro causal. It will affect your past lives and it not only clearly is going to affect this current lifetime that we're living in, but it will also affect your future lifetime in generations that come from you from the, from the lineage. So the healing is really super powerful in that respect. And again, the mere fact that you went through this and set the intention to heal this aspect was super powerful. The second thing Cara, I would like to touch upon is what you're discussing. I Get that you're a highly sensitive individual. I get that you energetically, as you were describing are empathic to situation, places, people that you're around, where you absorb that energy, it's like the responsibility that you put forth and you carry, you accept [00:15:00] that responsibility and you, unfortunately you allow that energy to percolate within your or system and into your, chakra system. Now, when I hear that story, I go immediately to the second chakra. And in human design that relates back to the Sacral chakra. So I'd be interested in, you know, hearing your perspective as to how that energy center looks for your human design as well. So I believe that as women, we are culturally trained to be that caretaker. And so we want to make life easier for those people that we surround ourselves with. And so we consciously are unconsciously accept, absorbing that energy into the second chakra. And many times when I look at the energy center of women that are prone or have that characteristic, their second chakra, um, the calibration of it is that it's way too open. So if you [00:16:00] think about an energy center and you think about how it shaped as far as a vortex or a funnel, we as conscious humans and spirits, beautiful spirits, have the ability to set the intention to calibrate that energy center. So if we know that we are energetically sensitive people, we can say, okay, wait a minute, wait a minute. I'm going into a crowded room. I'm going into a party. I'm going into work. I need to dial down the aperture or the opening of this second chakra in order to a protect myself and to not absorb other people's energies. That is our given right. So I think that that's so important that women understand that when it comes to boundaries, boundaries can be set on an individual chakra by chakra filtering system. And it can be reinforced from the, or level as well. Cara: thank you so much [00:17:00] for sharing all that. Um, one, my sacral is my response in my human design. So that being the case is I've always felt this powerful, inner knowing, but, I think as time has gone on I'm like, no, I'm not gonna listen to that. Or, there's certain just downplay of that intuitive nature. And so I think that's one, the most powerful thing in my human design that I found is using my sacral as my decision making tool. And then the other thing is, my emotional center is wide open, which yours is defined. So when I learned that, because my emotional center is open, I am more susceptible to other people's energies around me. I've. Gone into the spiritual world and done meditations. And I've always known about energy clearing energy protection, but it wasn't until recently where I've started to implement that. And it's been a life changing practice for me. And I think that I would not have gotten burned out being a [00:18:00] hair stylist if I had this practice going into each client or even entering into the building, because I love to show up for people authentically and open, but I never knew how to have that energetic boundary. And so one of the things that I've done is I made a five minute energy clearing meditation in mind of if I was still a hair stylist, how could I protect myself? How can I clear that energy? Because I do find it important. I am finding the practice. I feel like it's huge that even if I get to a point where I'm energetically overwhelmed, that I do take a moment and I take a step out of the room and , my main priority is making sure that I am taking care of that way when I'm taking care of, I can take care of my children, my husband, my friends, and my family, and it's knowing what boundaries and, um, self-care things that I need to do to make sure I'm taking care of and not letting the judgment or expectations of others [00:19:00] kind of filter in that, has been, um, a game changer helping me through that, because I didn't know how to do it, until now Mary: Mm, Cara, I'd like to go back to your statement that you mentioned that your sacral center is your response center, like where you make your decisions. And knowing that I think is crucial for your design, no pun intended, but knowing that if that's the case for you, then it makes it that much more important to know that you are clear and that your sacral center is only filled with Cara's energy. So if you have other people's energy, that's clouding up your sacral energy center, it's gonna give you a misread as far as your response. And when I think about. Women specifically that are hairdressers that are in the service industry that are in, um, healthcare that, um, are dealing one on one with [00:20:00] people in a very therapeutic environment, which hairdressers do, it's not taught within any of these professions as to how to neutrally separate between each and to every client or patient that you see. And I wish, just like you, hindsight's always 20, 20. I wish that I would have been taught this in chiropractic school because had I been taught that I don't think I, I truly, I believe that I would have prevented the burnout that I went through, which was, I'm not gonna lie to you horrific. So if we can literally take , a moment to gift back our energy that we shared with a patient or with a client and say, you know what, I gift back any and all energy that we shared during this time. And it is your right once again, to retrieve and to receive all the energy that they are holding of yours and run it back down through your system. And back down to mother earth, [00:21:00] neutral separations, if you do them individually, or if you do them collectively as a group is super empowering. That is how I end every single, energetic healing and medical intuitive reading, um, so that they understand that a merging is not allowed and is not acceptable. And that at the end of our encounter, we separate as neutral individuals and within our own energy systems. That way at the end of the night, I'm not running looping thoughts about these people and wondering, and feeling, picking up what's happening in their life and housing it and thinking that it's part of my. Cara: Yes. Oh my gosh, that resonates so much. When I was a hair stylist, how many times I would be tossing and turning before bed. And I just would have everybody else's energy within me. And it's kind of suffocating. It's like closing those tabs, shutting down, having those practices, I used to think that these practices needed to be this like big drawn out [00:22:00] ceremony. And now that I realize that it's. Just okay. I need to take a drink of water before my next client. Taking that drink of water and, um, as you're drinking it, letting it go through your body and letting that pretend to be that filtering system of getting that energy out, that's a way, you know what I mean? It's like combining those things so like one thing that is probably TMI that I've changed, my idea is using the restroom that is getting rid of energy out of your body. That's no longer serving you. So even attaching that energy practice of saying like, I am getting rid of everything that doesn't serve me at this time, you know, those little, few seconds, few minute things that you can add into your day, really help cleanse that, that it's not building up. If you don't clean your house for years and years and years, it's overwhelming to try and clean it all at once. But if you do a little bit each week, it gets to a point where it doesn't feel overwhelming. And I think that's exactly where burnout comes is not [00:23:00] having those tiny little self care energetic practices throughout your day, throughout your week, throughout your month. And then you get to a point where you think going to get an hour massage is going to cure that going on a weekend, retreat is going to recover that, and it's not, it's not, you're gonna feel good for that weekend, but you're gonna put yourself right back into what you've created this world of being overwhelmed be mindful of your mornings, maybe at lunch, adding it throughout the day. And so I would love to know about your experience with burnout. And I know that from what I've seen women between ages of 35 and 60 are really experience this whole burnout thing. And I personally think it's because we have this expectation to do all the things all the time and we are not built that way. There is times to be productive there's times to be focused on self care. And so I would love to know, um, your experience and that anything that we can do to use our energy, to kind [00:24:00] of come back from that burnout. Marker Mary: So Kara, I love the fact that you're keeping the techniques just super simple and you are absolutely correct. They just need to be mindful moments that we do consistently in order to clear and to charge our system, um, from becoming in an overloaded state. So let's take a moment and just look at what is burnout. I mean, burnout is essentially the result of too much energy output. You give way too much, and there's not enough energy coming back at you in self invested energy. So it's like, you're just burning too much fuel in your tank. You don't even have it as a reserve. And so the analogy that I use is that when I was experiencing burnout, I would go and put a gallon of gas in my car. And before I knew it, I burnt through it all, you know, no pun intended. So, you need to be thinking in a sustainable way. How can I replenish my energy system so that I [00:25:00] can continue to be, and again, in a service industry or so that I can continue to be authentic to myself and be of service to others. Now just for the audience listening, I take a very integrative approach to burnout. Um, my background as a chiropractor for 20 some odd years, and then my background with an emphasis in functional, uh, nutrition allows me and affords me the opportunity to look at the human body and utilize functional blood chemistry analysis in order to really see what is happening within the biomarkers of the adrenal system. What's happening with the cortisol what's happening with the D H E a is your body balancing and responding physically to your burnout? So the addressing the physical body, just simple things, simple things like monitoring your exercise, how much caffeine you're getting in your system, how much [00:26:00] sleep that you're getting every evening. How are you balancing your parasympathetics meaning are sympathetic, meaning you've got your, your autonomic nervous system where you've got the, uh, you don't really have control over your heart rate and the respiration of what's happening within your physical body, but with the mindful activity such as meditation or breathing, you can trip your neurology into thinking that it's more in a relaxed date. So from a physical perspective, there are tricks that I teach women as to what they can do to overcome burnout. And that's one of the integrative approaches the other second. Um, From a positive psychology. Let's take it from that perspective. We know science is proving us in evidence based research techniques of how to tap into more happiness and how to savor and to experience more positive emotions on a daily basis. So if we know what positive emotions [00:27:00] are, and we know that how to create more positive emotions within our daily activities, then if we can be more mindful about creating that, then that's another tool, a simple tool that we have within our integrative toolbox. For example, we talked about meditation, people get overwhelmed and they say, oh my goodness, I don't have time to meditate. Well, my guess is is that if you're so busy that you can't find 15 minutes to meditate every day, then quite honestly, you are absolutely the person that has to meditate so you get to create that time the 15 minutes to bring it back to the south. So that's one tool that positive psychology is teaching us, you know, even as simple as a 22nd hug with another person or a six second kiss. All of those things can produce hormonally within your body, the chemistry to elicit more positive emotions. And that's [00:28:00] just another integrative approach. And then if we take it from the component of energy medicine, learning how to calibrate your energy systems, being able to identify an energy center and know what part of the body that it is connecting to and the emotional life experiences that may be housed within those energy centers affords us the insight, just like human design does human design is a beautiful tool to provide insights for us to know where we might be vulnerable, where we might be strong. What is, um, I, in my world, I call it like an energy center being excess. or deficient in your world, you may be saying, well, it's, it's open and it's defined, or it's undefined, and I'm using those words. And I couldn't give you the clinic, the definition of what these mean. I'm sure you'll share that with us in this podcast, but there's, there's so many [00:29:00] tools that we have available to us from an energy medicine perspective. That, and again, , I'm not, I'm about ready to go off on a tangent, but I believe that energy medicine in the medicine of the future, we're already taking an integrative approach to medicine, but it's now coming back to what is not seen the human energetics , and it will. I know within my lifetime I will get to see the science. It will then become approved in system that I've intuitively known all along that exist. Um, but Huray for science. I'm looking for it to prove that. And for all the, um, Foundations and the research that's happening right now. I just wanna energetically put out and express gratitude that people are working on proving the effects of energy medicine. So burnout is not fun. It's not fun. I don't even know how to share my own journey. Other than say ladies, 50%, 42% of us at this moment are experiencing burnout. You are [00:30:00] absolutely not alone. This is a common occurrence. And especially after the last two years that we've gone through and knowing that we're in this moment of great resignation, where our world was turned upside down and we were forced to spend more time with ourselves and to reflect internally to determine whether or not we liked what we saw or what we didn't like. And if we didn't like it, then let us all have the courage to make the change. coming through and transitioning out of burnout. And this is something that I tell, women in that it inevitably creates , a transition that you move through in order to have the outcome of transformation. So when you go through the whole process of burnout, there is a lot of change. And with change comes the world of the unknown and with the unknown creates space and within the space creates the transitions for transformation. So again, um, my [00:31:00] experience with burnout was not pretty, it was not graceful, it was anything but that. And I blew up my world because it was the only thing I knew how to do. I needed to just run away and to leave it all. And that's what I did. And then when I finally got to my destination, which happened to be Vietnam, I crashed and I went through a , huge identity crisis. And I walled in that for quite some time. and then I found meditation, then I found, and then that's just created the whole, you know, series of events. We talk about divine timing, Kara, and I know that life, I, I think it's quite unique in that life gives us these lessons at divine timing in order for us to be able to move through what the current situation is. Now you say, okay, women in their forties, you know, they have to go through life experiences of their twenties and their thirties in order to get to that point. It doesn't end at 40 ladies. It continues. Those transitions continue well into your fifties and your [00:32:00] sixties. So know that what you're experiencing and dealing with now is preparing you for a deeper level. As you continue to move through life experiences. Burnout is just a symptom. It's a byproduct. Mystical Faire AD: I'm excited to tell you about an opportunity to receive guidance from a diverse group of Lightworkers, who are prepared to provide and guide you with their expertise in healing energies. It's a half day virtual retreat that transports you to a soul inspiring, loving space. It's the grounded dreamers mystical fare. Which takes place on July 30th from 1:00 PM to 3:30 PM. Eastern standard time. What makes it extra special is you get to choose. Who you spend and share space with in a group or private setting? My personal group, class offerings are understanding our cycle. In this class. We break down the different phases of a menstrual cycle and how we can use them for a more balanced home and work life. We have a cyclical nature and tapping into that power can leave you feeling less overwhelmed [00:33:00] and utilize the energy. Each phase brings.. My other offering is human design foundations learn the powerful foundations of your human design chart. I will provide worksheets to help you break down your chart in an easy, understandable way. I also have a free interactive human design chart. To help you get started to understand your design. Head over to Cara dempsey.com/hd. Other offerings from other practitioners include. Soul guidance readings. Beginners taro and numerology. Or readings, astrology, Pranic healing, hypnotherapy the copy consultant to bring your spiritual copy to attract your right clients, breath, work, and somatic guided drawings. Head over to caradempsey.com/gdmf to find out more about the grounded dreamers mystical fair i can't wait to see you there Cara: I find that if I were to have to describe my version of burnout, it was a hundred percent not [00:34:00] listening to my intuition. My body, my mind was screaming. This is not meant for you. What you're doing right now is driving yourself into a place of, like you said before, was giving more than I had within, I had two small kids and it was tough. I felt like I did not have a choice, but to be in this cycle of putting more out than I actually had within. But this is what came from it. I came not giving my best to my clients. I wasn't the best mom that I could be. I was angry. I was explosive and I did not feel good in my everyday life. And I think that's, it is your body gets to a point where I. Finds that when you have symptoms, your body is communicating with you. It's saying what you're doing right now is not sustainable. You were to a point where your body cannot keep up with this. What you're doing is not meant for you. And you need to take a moment and it's like, you're right. It was the great [00:35:00] awakening of, 2020. And the fact that I had to shut down, I had no other choice, but to be with myself and my family, I realized all this external, I have to do this. I didn't have to do it. I had a choice to change it. I had to make the decision. I had to make sure that meditation was a part of my daily routine. I had an option to be able to change my life from being overwhelmed, to coming back and enjoying the moments with my family, because I was always rushing to the next thing. I never had the patience, the awareness to say, I'm here right now. Let me enjoy this moment. I was always planning the next thing while I was in the thing that I previously planned. And that's not enjoyment of life. That's like pushing through and how else are you gonna get? You're gonna get overwhelmed in life when you live that way. And I think we all. Hopefully have the, um, tools within us to be able to change our [00:36:00] situation. So we're not feeling that way and it feels scary, right. To make that jump to change, whatever may be. But I also think if we just take those little micro shifts in our day to kind of connect with our intuition, listen to what our soul's telling us is that job draining completely of our energy. I wanna make this clear, I don't think people need to have this soul fulfilling career, but they do need to have those soul fulfilling activities in their day, their week and their month to be able to stay afloat. If they're in something that's literally depleting their energy there, no help to anyone around them. Mary: I agree, Kara, um, one of the things that you said a moment ago is that the physical body talks to us. It's just up to us as to whether or not we listen to it. So to make this point, I am so embarrassed to even share this story, but you know, if it benefits some of the ladies out there I'll share. So in the height of my, um, burnout, let me just preface this. So I was running a [00:37:00] flagship, um, chiropractic office. I was doing a relatively high volume practice. I had a second office, a satellite. I was managing over the doctors in the other site and I was consulting other physicians on how to do startup businesses. So let's just say my life was super. And I would leave before the sun came up and I would return before the, after the sun went down every night. And so in the morning I would Jack myself up. Literally it felt like I was intravenously injecting and caffeine and, and, and coffee into, into my system just to get myself revved up so that I could go exercise first thing, because I was so rigid. I thought that if I exercised every day, I would be able to manage my stress a little bit better. So then I would go through my day, do what it is that I needed to do. And I couldn't wait to get home because my red wine was waiting for me. So then I would have my red wine and my chocolate and meanwhile, and also, you know, somewhere in there I had dinner and that dinner was thrown together with [00:38:00] whatever came out of the refrigerator , in a non-healthy fashion. And I literally would sit across the table from my husband and I would put my hand, I would put my elbow on the dinner cable and my, and my chin would rest on my hand. And then at the moment of exhaustion, my hand would fall out and I would lose where I was in. Mid-sentence talking to my husband and he would look at me and he's like, are you sleeping? Or what, what just happened? Because you just went somewhere. This is not fun. This is not engaging for. This was the emotional component that I was ignoring. I was in a very conservative town, a very Christian oriented town in which I had to literally, um, filter almost all my words. So my authentic self or my essence was not able to shine forth because I really had to monitor, you know, what I was communicating, even though I was sensing feeling and seeing more than what met the human eye. Right. So I broke out it. I will never forget this because it was right about the holiday time. I was around a lot of people and I broke [00:39:00] out an, an incredibly unsightly cystic acne on my neck. Like I'm talking big boils, red festering infected. Cyst on my neck. So I was like, what is happening here? What is happening? So I literally, I was like, okay, well, something's trying to move out of my system, but I didn't take the time to really get to the energetic core root. I went to the dermatologist. I went and had whatever necessary treatments in order to get rid of the acne. As I continue to wear turtlenecks for the remainder of the holiday season, then what happened was literally I blew a disc in my neck, so I couldn't sleep laying on my back. I had to sleep sitting up because the pain was so excruciating and I was so committed to healing it from a chiropractic perspective and through acupuncture that I was miserable. I was miserable for longer than what I needed to be. And I do believe in [00:40:00] natural healing, but I was not getting to the core root. So I got through the episode of the acute disc blowout and then one night, honest to God, Cara. All I did was roll Uber in my sleep and my entire rotator cuff on my right side collapsed. Um, I woke up to excruciating pain within my shoulder and I couldn't move my arm. So the, my body was like, hello. We're here. Are you gonna pay any attention? And it all revolved around my throat chakra. That is the space and the energy center allocated for authentic expression in the expression of your innate creativity. It's being able to choose the words to show up in alignment with your profession to be able to. Be who you innately are designed to be. And, and again, I'll be interested to hear from a human design perspective, but I couldn't retrospectively speaking and looking at it, hindsight's always 2020, but my body could [00:41:00] not have been more clear to me in its communication that it was extremely upset. It was pissed off to be honest with you. And did I listen to it? No, I was succinct and busy and I thought I was so important in that my professional identity should override my physical body, my energetic system that I chose to ignore it. And today I'm sad. I'm sad to say that's what I did, but in the moment, at the age where I was with a life experience that I had, those were the decisions that I made. And truthfully, I don't want, and I didn't even talk about my adrenal exhaustion, but I don't wish this upon anybody. So if this is the kind of wisdom that I can share with women so that they can, their life is a little bit easier as a direct result, then let's pay it forward. Let's save some agony, cuz there's easier ways to do it. Just we didn't, we weren't taught. How did you do. Cara: Yeah. I mean, we're just doing the best we can with the tools that we have. And sometimes it [00:42:00] takes learning the lesson to be able to have it really sit deep in because, , sometimes, like I said, previously it's, if, if a something's reoccurring, we have to do something different to kind of get out of that. But sometimes, we just, we don't have what we're equipped for to really move through it in the way that we think is right. And that it comes down at another time. If you don't feel comfortable doing this, but, I feel called to share like some health issues that I'm going through and that if you have any perspective of maybe how it's, energetically, um, affecting me, I guess you can say. I'm trying to go to the doctor, I'm trying to get labs done. I had this after I had my son. I had a lot of health issues, I think a lot of it was my intuition coming through telling me that what I was doing my body could not keep up with. And I used my cycle to actually heal myself. And that was empowering. And I felt like I actually healed my cycle in being aware of my body. But now I've come, huge mounds from where I was, [00:43:00] but I keep having this reoccurring thing where I'm having these pains in my upper abdomen and energetically, um, from an intuition standpoint, if something's a yes, I feel it's. In, um, my SAC role when I feel a no it's like in my upper abdomen. And so in intuitively that's kind of what comes through, but I'm having these issues where the best way I can describe it is when I had my children. And I went into labor. My contractions were right in that upper abdomen and these episodes are lasting about two hours and it literally feels like I am having a two hour contraction. I get nauseous. I feel really sick. I have a hard time breathing. Um, I personally think one of the things that's triggering it is eating corn, which unfortunately isn't everything, but I'm very open to , what you may have to say on this reoccurring, um, attack that I'm having. Cuz it's, it's kind of scary in the moment and I don't really know what to do when it's [00:44:00] going on. Mary: Thank you for sharing Cara. Um, as I listen to you in an expanded state, I want first and foremost, um, I believe that your intuition is spot on, um, as you're receiving information within your sacral center and you get a yes and then the no is a rebounding constriction within the space of the third. So at first, when you were sharing your, um, story with me, I was tapping into an element of constriction revolving around the third chakra, which essentially will show up in how you express yourself in a state of autonomy. So how you claim and tap into your own personal power. So there's room energetically to explore that concept for you. And I don't want to, you know, uh, I, out of respect for you, that's something that you can percolate on your own. but I felt a FISURE I felt a construction. Um, and I do think that [00:45:00] you are having, there is a gastric component as it relates in with your digestion. I believe you're spot on when it comes to the food that you eat. And I do know that with the vagus nerve being the longest nerve and as it taps into the entire system that, um, possibly, um, it's a stress response for you. Um, literally creating that no component that constriction. So when I hear the word corn for you, um, I think it would serve you to do more understanding as to, do whatever diagnostics to better understand what's happening within the gut itself. And when it comes to food sensitivities, we can have many sensitivities to food and it not show up positive on a true allergen for our system. So corn is in everything just like gluten is in everything. And I do think that the gut is intimately connected into the [00:46:00] hormonal system as well. So I think that there's some physical issues. to make a long story short. I get that your intuition about food is true. I feel a constriction as spasmodic, constriction, which could be contributing to that excruciating pain. And it could be simply coming from the gallbladder in response to trying to balance whatever, just came through your digestive tract or is entering into the, um, intestinal system. So again, from the third chakra, it most intimately is connected into the pancreas and the pancreas is all about regulation of blood sugar. So perhaps there's the energy that's moving through your third chakra that you are looking to regulate, and that could be associated with your autonomy and the expression of self. Cara: thank you so much for sharing that. What if you, um, had any guidance of my [00:47:00] next steps on helping me kind of go through this, would it be seen like a GI specialist to help, or is it more trying to find that internal. You know, autonomy that you're talking about, what would you suggest in the steps? Cuz I get kind of overwhelmed one sense with seeing doctors. I feel like a lot of times I go and I have, um, in the past had an endoscopic and they're like, yep, you have gastro. And I'm like, great, what do I do? And they're like, just watch what you eat. So I feel like I get to these points where I'm trying to take the steps, but then I'm left kind of falling flat on how to rectify what's happening. If that makes sense. Mary: absolutely. Um, I want to share with you that what you're experiencing is very common and it's disempowering. It's really disempowering to have a physician say, well, just make this simple change. And I think that Cara, for you specifically, um, and I'm not trying to sound flippant, but I believe that you already know what you need [00:48:00] to do. And, um, your intuition is super strong and listen to it. I'm not telling you what to do, but the invitation is to consider a few things, consider doing a total elimination diet. I'm using the word diet because I just dunno what else to say, modify what you are eating to eliminate any of the food sensitivities, whether it be corn, gluten, eggs, dairy, those kind of things. And you can do, there's so much research out there as to, uh, how you can do a total elimination diet for just a couple of weeks. It's not sustainable, but if you can decrease the inflammation that is causing the gastritis and anything ending an I T I F is an inflammation, but if you can trigger your body to overcome the inflammation, right, from a cellular perspective, then your system will be at ground zero, and then you can start to reintroduce food and you'll know immediately, [00:49:00] you'll be like, oh, holy cow, I can't eat that. and so then you'll be able to intuitively, and it's kind of going along with theme of intuitive eating. You hear that a lot these days. I believe, and you know, that you are super powerful and you know, your body better than any physician will ever pretend to know it. And just because they have this degree, that's hanging on the wall doesn't mean that they know more than you. Again, I want traditional medicine in, in a, in a state if I were to be hit by, and I'm not wishing this upon anybody, but if I were to have a traumatic experience where I ended up in the ER room, I want the best of the best. And I want, you know, what it takes in order to keep me afloat. And then afterwards I'm gonna do whatever it takes in order to rebalance my system. So that's the first suggestion I would say is to approach intuitively the diet. And then I would dive deep into the understanding as to what's happening energetic. Why is this happening? What's the core root [00:50:00] of it. And many times when you're looking at the third chakra, because there could have been, again, I'm not trying to project or to dive deep into your history, but intuitively there could be energetic cords, um, that were non contractual cords that came in the backside of your body and that are entangled within the energy system causing the physicalfunction. So again, if you're gonna go through addressing the physical body, go through the efforts of cleansing and working the energetic system at the same time. So then we can get to the emotional body, find out what cleansing, you know, is this something, well, how deep did this go? And I think the experience, the end result will be that you will feel more empowered, just like your experience of going through the theta healing, like how necessary that was for you. Then you may find like you, you may step into like, holy cow, I did it. I, I [00:51:00] got to the core root of this. I personally dug in and got to the core root of that. So that is what I wish for women, because we are taught, we are taught that we are to hand over the control of our health, to other people, opposed to taking it from within. Cara: Yeah, definitely. I mean, that's how I felt with what I was dealing with after my son, I know a lot of it had hormonal effects to it and that when I focused on my cycle and the only reason I focused on my cycle is because I got off birth control and I didn't know how to experience it. So how I process things is I wanna learn about it. I wanna learn how I can utilize this. And then I saw the power in it and you're right.. I found a powerful healing factor, something that I hope to help other women understand that when they learn about their body, when they learn how their body operates, they. Are powerful. We should know more than what the doctors know, and we put so much power into the [00:52:00] doctor's healing us, which again, science is powerful. We need them, , let's bridge that gap of understanding our own body and then, using the doctors at the same time. And so I appreciate all of what you said, and I will definitely, ponder that and kind of filter within cuz it's, it gets overwhelming when you don't really know exactly. And I have gone through, um, extreme diets, restrictive diets when I was first beginning to heal myself and I've given up dairy, I've given up gluten, I've given them up together. And the idea of giving up corn is so overwhelming to me. I'm trying every day. And it's so crazy how I went through a four month period of a completely restrictive diet. But the fact that I'm trying to give up corn is so overwhelming every single day, I accidentally eat something with corn in it, and it's just showing you how much corn is in everything. And that it's so hard because at least with dairy and gluten it's on [00:53:00] labels and corn has 50 names, , to be able to decipher that. And so I think when I'm at a place where I can kind of plan out what I can eat, and not focus on the things that I can eat, I will get to a point where I can kind of take control and be able to do that. Just every day that I think I'm gonna go through a day without eating corn, and then I accidentally ingest something. One thing that someone's mentioned to me, and I don't know if you have any background of this is they say that if you give up a food for 30 days and that when you put it in your mouth after that 30 days, if you take your heart rate before, and then also when that food hits your mouth, that your heart rate actually will spike because your body starts to panic because it knows that it might not digest that food well. Mary: Kara. I just have one thing that's kind of unrelated, but I think important to remember is women are listening to this show that when we are self-empowering ourselves to make these necessary changes, to strike the balance with health and wellness, I think, you know, it [00:54:00] gets to come from a place of self-compassion and self love. So when we know that we're making these changes, because we physically want to feel better, or we want to be a, a greater representation of a higher self. I think that if we love our self and service to our higher self, I think that that puts a different spin on when you make the, when you make, when you make the decision to make the changes, because there perfection of them is totally overrated. You and I both know that it doesn't exist in today's world. There's no space for it. And the notion of whoever coined the term perfection of them, that just should be, that should just. A word that you should disappear out of the dictionary. But I think that there's so much room for women specifically to embrace more compassion as they try to embark upon this intuitive journey and this, uh, you know, self, the empowerment for self healing. So I applaud you for making these really [00:55:00] challenging dietary changes. I really, really do. And I just hope that you'll find a space for more compassion as you continue through the journey, um, because you're very knowledgeable and you're very intuitive. So just be gentle. Cara: Thank you. I really appreciate that. I will say that the first time around, when I really got to a place of trying to heal myself, I was striving for perfection , maybe perfection wasn't the word, but I was definitely coming from a trauma response that I could not control my external situation. I E being locked down on COVID. So I got to a point of controlling my food and getting to a place of, I couldn't figure out how to control my symptoms. And while being on a restrictive diet was very healing for me. I took it to a place that was unhealthy. I got to a point where I lost a lot of weight and I felt really good the majority of the time, but I also had this [00:56:00] pressure that I had to work out too much. I had to be super restrictive on my food. I wasn't nourishing myself the way that I should have been. And so it's understanding that we do need to have compassion that we do need to applaud ourselves when we're making these steps and that when we don't. Fully follow through with what we intended to plan on. And to stop putting that unbearable pressure, we put on ourselves as women to again, do all the things and show up and do everything right. It's not sustainable. And when you're rigid, you block that intuition coming through, you block those things that are meant for you. If you're not allowing the space for those miracles to come through. Mary: Absolutely. And something to consider is that, you know, again, self-compassion self love comes from the ability to self nurture. And if we didn't receive that as small people, how in the heck are we supposed to do that? So if we don't know if we didn't, if it's not something that we are wired, as far as a memory, that's super challenging. Cara: [00:57:00] Yeah. It is. I mean, life's tough and sometimes we make it way tougher than it needs to be. It's not supposed to be that tough on a daily basis. Like we will be handed, lessons and how we're gonna figure that out and use it in a way that will empower us. But I think back to a lot of my life and I made things way tougher than I, need to be. It's like finding that flow in your life. It's, it's something that I suggest, and it's really hard to find that flow when you don't know how to allow it to come to you when you're blocking it with control. I think a lot of women have a control problem, and I know I did. I still do, and I work on it daily, but I think if we can kind of let go of control and allow things to work out. better than we You know, I think when we put that rigidness in it, it's really hard to enjoy the moments of life. So is there anything that you have found in, you know, your life lessons that ha that can help women tap [00:58:00] into that flow of life? Tap into that intuition that they have within them? Mary: absolutely. And, and thank you for asking, um, Cara, this is one of the things that I have experientially witnessed myself and witnessed with some of the women that I work with as far as de energy medicine. And as I described this to you, it's going to sound a little bit kind of out there, but hopefully it'll make some sense in a tangible way in that our human energetic system that surrounds us the aura. Again, the more work we do, the more that we can reclaim our space, the more that we reclaim our space, and I'm talking about this space within our physical body and the space, the biofield that surrounds us, the more that we claim that as our own and the more that we tap into our fullest expression of self. And that's the ultimate goal behind any energetic healing [00:59:00] is to fill the frequency, saturate the space with your frequency. And once that occurs, when you truly are connected into your original essence and being led by your soul, that will create a state state of grace and be ease because your intuition is at its maximum. Your space is saturated. It's void of other people's energy. It's purely your frequency, and that allows you to be able to trust in your frequency, thus, be able to attract all that you need, deserve, want and desire into your world. And you're correct that it, if we are the ones as humans, we create it, we make it more challenging than what it needs to be. But from an experiential standpoint, it is so refreshing. And I'm not saying that I've mastered this, please, everybody. I have my own issue, but I get glimpse of sitting in that, that date [01:00:00] of original Han and that which comes forth is purely magical. Cara: Yeah, I a hundred percent agree I feel like when I was able to kind of sit within myself when I was able to turn my mind off, getting my body, that magic comes through and it's learning one how to set the boundaries to do that. Because, I've heard from women with children around my age, One of the things that I did through COVID was I created these 24 hour time periods where I was relieved of children duties, household duties. I did not take care of anything externally, except for myself. And the response I would get was, well, your kids and your husband would leave you alone. And I was like, it didn't start out that way. I had to, each time I had to do it, say I'm gonna be in my room when this sign is on the door. I don't want you coming in. When I am outside, I'd prefer you to be inside. It's that open communication of saying, this is kind of what I need. This is my [01:01:00] expectations. And being able to talk it through, but. Practicing how to set those boundaries so that you, when you are meditating someone isn't gonna walk in the middle of it and don't get me wrong this morning. I was meditating and my dog came up and licked my face. My son tapped me on the shoulder. Like I still have interrupted time previously. I would get angry about it. Like, this is my time. This is my space. Now I have a little bit more flow of saying, Hey, I asked for this time, you know, dog, I'm going to put you inside. So you're not gonna lick my face in the middle of the meditation. So it's, being clear what you want asking for it and giving grace when it doesn't fall through. But if you don't tell people, if you don't set your expectations with other people, but also on a, on a graceful level, like how are they supposed to know? And so it is up to the listeners to you. Whoever's listening to. Talk with your family, your children. I started talking about this with my two year old son, and he's still [01:02:00] learning how to do that and understanding what I need. But the great thing is, is this I'm showing him by example so that when he gets to a place where he needs that space to himself, he knows how to take it too. And I think it's those lessons of teaching my daughter and my son. This is I would be less overwhelmed in life if I knew how to ask for that time, that space and being able to set those boundaries and boundaries are not easy. They take practice. They're very uncomfortable at first, especially when you don't know how to use them, but it's something that over time you'll get better about it, but it is up to you to set those boundaries. It is not up to anybody else, , Mary: I'd like to offer up the idea of doing neutral separations with your kids. Doing neutral separations. Yeah. And in doing neutral separations with your dog and with your, your family, you think about, we talked about neutral separations earlier. I just didn't coin the term with you. And that was, you know, you, you [01:03:00] talked about the importance of being as a hairdresser, taking a sip of water in between clients. And I talked about gifting back the energy to the other people and being able to claim your own individual space so that there's not that merge or that blending of energies. And I think that having children, it has, you know, it, without a doubt is one of the most challenging, you know, uh, uh, roles that you will ever embark upon. But I, I do think that there is a way energetically speaking, the cord, clearly the cording that you have with your small people in your life, that's a responsibility. That's a cord that will be with you for quite some time. And I'm not asking you to sever the chords, quite the contrary. I'm just asking and suggesting that you gift back the energy that you share with these small people and empower them, you know, through your teachings, you're empowering by actions, but energetically gift back the [01:04:00] energy. And so that there's gonna be less of it, which is empowering for your kid. And there'll be less of that pool on you. Energetically just a suggestion. Cara: no, that's definitely helpful. I feel like my children show me the lessons every day. Mary: Absolutely. Cara: Yeah. That will definitely be helpful, cuz having my emotional center open and my human design, being able to understand that when my child comes at me with anger, my instinct is to reflect back to them that same anger and that doesn't help when you amplify that anger, everybody else is just gonna get heated. And so that has been a huge lesson is understanding what are my emotions? What are their emotions? And if I need to take a moment and then being able to honor walk through the emotions, be aware of the emotions because I think a lot in my life was. Not acknowledging my own emotions, kind of shoving them down and letting other people's emotions kind of get trapped in my body and then [01:05:00] being resentful, being angry about it. And, I don't wanna live that way anymore. So just learning these tools as a mom is so helpful. So I appreciate that insight. I am getting clear on my future visions, where I want to be, and I've started to realize it starts with my micro habits every day to become that version of myself. Do you have any insight on building a purposeful, like purposeful habits to manifest the life of our dreams or anything around manifestation? Mary: yes. Um,, this goes back to discovering your original essence and just allowing yourself to be truly full of yourself. Energetically. Um, that I think is the most powerful tool that we have and attracting all that we want and desire and need within our lives. Um, with that, though, I will share with you on a monthly basis, I do an intention room. It's just an opportunity for women to show up free of charge, to work through the chakra system, do a little bit of cleansing and balancing. And [01:06:00] then in an extremely grounded state, we ascend into out of the seventh and into the space of the eighth chakra and from there, what we do is we plant the seeds according to our desires, in thoughts and in actions and in words, and align it energetically tapping into the universal field. And then we bring it down at the end of the guided meditation through the chakra system, back down to mother earth for the physical manifestation of those intentions. So, um, I love my intention room. Um, it's really magical to hold space for these women. And everybody comes with some, a different agenda. Um, everybody has their own experience and, um, it's been really, it's been fun to watch. Absolutely. Cara: I love that so much. I love when women are having these like free opportunities to help women kind of come together and see how powerful we can be when we really put our mind, body and soul to it. So [01:07:00] one, thank you for having something like that. That was something I saw on your website. And I was like, how wonderful that is. So I will definitely have to check that out in the future. I did wanna chat a little bit about your human design. You're a manifesting generator, which I am as well. So our not self theme, which means when we're not living in our design, when we're kind of pushing through and not kind of letting that intuitive, um, being come through, we get frustrated and angry. And so the best thing to do is take a moment and say, am I rushing through what, what am I doing to kind of bring that anger and frustration and just kind of check in with yourself and go through. So the difference between you as a manifesting generator and me as a manifesting generator is you are a emotional or solar plexus is your authority. Mine is sacral. So for us, um, you have your sacral and your, um, emotional center colored in or defined. My emotional center is [01:08:00] wide open, like I was saying before. So I am more susceptible to other people's energy. And when you have a solar plexus authority, ultimately you need to make sure that you're making your decisions when you are emotionally clear. So when you have a storm going on around you, you need to take a moment, take a step back and get calm and clear before you make a decision versus making the decision because you feel these emotions all around you. So when you find that emotional balance, you'll begin to feel that clarity. Also, you have a response. Waiting to respond. So waiting for an invitation is ultimately ensuring the people and projects that you invest your time in recognize your gifts, and that they're ready to be transformed. So this was a lesson I had to find in my own was I'd be like human design is so awesome. It will save your life. And people are like, no, thank you. You know what I mean? It [01:09:00] was that rejection, that aura was so intense that people just kind of wanted to be like, no, thank you. So I found in my own personal experiences, like talking about the things that light me up, and then when someone's ready to know more about it, they will come to me and it feels powerful. It feels like we're being more recognized for our gifts versus the other way I would feel rejected. And so I just find that when someone is ready to hear what we have to say, We put it out there and then they'll come to us. We will attract those as like that manifesting generator. Like we will attract those things to us. Um, as long as we're not kind of like coming, coming at people with it. So back to the emotional it's, you might need a day or two to feel into what feels good to you. And the difference with that is, is with my sacral. I will instantly know if it's yes or a no. And so my husband is also an emotional, so he needs a few days to think about it. And I'm like, I know now, and for me, [01:10:00] it's I can tell if it's a yes or if it's a no. And if I can't tell in between, I just usually have to tell people, like, I need a few days to think about it. If you can't have that few days, then it's gonna have to be a no for me, because when we commit to something we commit fully. And so. Just kind of putting your toe in the water to test it out is also suggested because it's really hard. Once we jump in to kind of take a step back, it's that burnout it's. If we jump in fully, we don't know how to kind of take a step back and get out of it and we'll probably end up burning ourselves out because we have to like follow through with it clarity comes with time and changing your mind is okay. And, also paying attention to your initial instinct, even if you don't make your decision off of that, just letting that kind of come through. How does all all feel to you with your design? Mary: Absolutely spot on. Um, I wanna share with you that I would, as I was developing my intuition before I really understood what spontaneous [01:11:00] clairvoyance was all about. I would be looking at somebody's field and get this information, and I felt like it was my job to deliver this information to these people. And I would just blurt out, you know, Hey, oh my God, did you know the X, Y, Z. And they'd be looking at me like lady back off. And so, um, you are so right in that, um, our desire to want to share our wisdom or the truth, um, sometimes is, needs to be softened a little bit to where the person receiving the information is in a, a receptive mode. Inability to be able to hear the wisdom that you have to share. Otherwise you are correct. You just met with this, like rejection, this like not interested. Thanks. But no, thanks. Cara: Yeah, it's been a hard lesson for me, but I've found that just the little aspects of my chart that I learn about, human design has so many aspects to it, and it's so hard not to jump into everything all the time, but I also feel like divine timing with it is you'll learn through as you [01:12:00] go, but I've found so many people that are connected with their intuition are already living their design because they are designed that way. They are learning how to listen to their body. And so I wish that this could be something taught earlier on. So it doesn't take a whole life to learn how to connect with your intuition. But I found that L using my human design has just solidified that I have intuition. It has been right so far. And even if it's not turning out exactly how I want it to be, it's still teaching me the lesson to be able to get through in a life. That feels good to me. So, it's not all sunshine and rainbows. It's being able to kind of take the tools as you go. I did wanna touch base on the throat since that came up, um, with a previous, um, issue with you. So I'm gonna talk about the throat, what it means to be defined. And I also wanna talk about a channel that you have connected. I always like to talk about a channel, which means two numbers are connected. And a lot of times, if you harness that energy, you can get really powerful in what you're [01:13:00] doing. So the throat itself is where things are made with the power of manifestation. This is the center where everything can happen. It's qualities come through as actions, speeches, writing through teaching leadership and knowledge and anatomically it's correlation to the thyroid or the parathyroid. So since your throat is defined, What other centers that are connected to this will intensify that other center. So your throat is directly connected to your Sacral and your emotional center. Um, you have some other ones that there is connection, but, but it's not fully connected. So you are powerful in expressing your new, unique truth and inspiring others to do the same. You are consistent in how you communicate, and you're a great storyteller, which helps make things happen for you. You tend to attract the people who wanna chat your ear off, especially with their throat undefined, how you express yourself, leads to making things [01:14:00] happen and attaining your goals. So I think a lot of it was that you were saying that you weren't expressing your true self. At that time in your life. So it was showing in your throat that you needed to kind of assess, how can you show up? How can you communicate who you really are? I don't know if that feels true into what you were going through at that time in your life, that you were having issues with, um, your throat. Mary: Absolutely. And I was extremely frustrated Cara: yes. Mary: so, um, clearly, clearly there's been a lot of healing done in that area. Um, otherwise I probably wouldn't be so chatty on the, on the show Cara: Yeah. Yes. And so to kind of connect into that channel, um, you have 12 to 22 channel, which is a channel of openness. So that means your throat is connected to your emotional center. You can find mercy to your emotions. There's openness, and depth that make you feel empowered, vulnerable, and unpredictable. All in the same. You have an intensity and passion to make things happen. [01:15:00] You might take the road less traveled to make a path for others. You may appear calm and collected on the surface, but sometimes underneath you may have emotional turbulence pulling you along. You may have an easier time sharing your emotions, but are wary on who you choose to communicate this with because certain people may struggle to understand or handle what you're communicating. So make sure you're clear with your emotions before you share. If you keep your emotional, if you keep your emotions pent up, it will block your manifestations. Make sure you keep up a practice of journaling meditation to let your emotions come through and honor them. You may bring an intense, uh, or a presence that will affect those around you. If you aren't expressing your emotions in a healthy way, if you are down those around you will become down. So having awareness on when you should be around others and when you, uh, should retreat is essential to creating a welcoming atmosphere. Emotional clarity is key to [01:16:00] harnessing your. Authority. How does that channel feel to you? Mary: That is true. That is true. Cara: Yeah. I love to dive into other people's charts, but sometimes I forget to check my own aspects. So it's, it's one of those things that even two years into diving into human design, how many times I'll go back and look at my own chart and say, wow, okay. That really makes sense. So just my goal in human design is to help people understand, you know, their energetic centers, how they may affect their decisions and taking what resonates. And if it doesn't resonate now, it doesn't mean it might not resonate in the future, but it's really helped me just connect my intuition, stay true to how I'm built and. Making me feel like I'm seen and heard that like, oh, I am built this way. It is okay. That I process emotions this way. It is. Okay. So that's all I find , with human design is to just really empower others on what feels good to them. You know, leave what doesn't work for you too. Speaking of energy, I would love, if you [01:17:00] could tell listeners about your free boost, your energy guide on your website. Mary: Oh, yeah. Thanks for asking Cara um, I had so much fun creating this guide and it really was, um, designed with the intention of providing, um, Insight for a self assessment as to how your energy centers are flowing. So, um, literally it's easy to access. If you follow me on Instagram or on Facebook, if you just type in the word energy, then I'll make sure that you get this free guide or you can also find it on my website as well. But essentially what I have done is I have broken down the seven main energy centers, and I have talked about what it means for each of these energy centers to be in excess and also in deficiency. And I did my best to kind of give you life experiences as to how, um, uh, life might get in the way or, um, cause of response within these chakra systems. And then I provided tools on how to boost these energy systems. So yes, please take advantage of [01:18:00] that. I absolutely had so much fun putting this guide together. Cara: Yeah, thank you. I'll make sure that's in the show notes and I'll definitely have to check out harnessing my, um, solar plexus. So hopefully that will help heal some of the internal issues that I'm having too. I always am looking for ways to connect with my chakras. So I appreciate you doing that. And I would also love to tell listeners about some of your offerings. How can listeners connect with you? I would love to learn more about your bounce back from burnout program that you have coming up. Mary: Yes. Um, Kara, what lights me up professionally right now is that I'm in the process of launching a signature program beginning in August, but I've got a couple events that are leading up to the signature program. And that is a free event that starts on July 18th. And that is a five day bootcamp called from burnout to balance. And the way that I have orchestrated and designed this five day, um, bootcamp [01:19:00] is to walk a female through. Understanding where she lies within the spectrum of burnout, how she knows she's going through a certain phase of burnout, but she wants to really know how far off is she really, how far gone has she really been? You know, so I will have a diagnostic tool for the ladies to take at the beginning of this five day bootcamp. And the first day designed to be kind of an overview is to defining what burnout is in relations or in comparison to stress. So what's the difference? What happened? And then, um, day two is all about, you know, the spiritual aspects of what we can do to overcome burnout day three talks about the mind day four talks about the body. So I'm taking everything that we talked about today. I'm taking that integrative approach and the intention is to provide women with tangible, small tools that they can incorporate into their lives in order to help. Transition from burnout into balance [01:20:00] and to prevent some of the, the extreme physical issues that you and I have experienced and something else that's kind of unique along with this five day program in the morning, I am gonna be doing a 15 minute meditation. First thing in the morning, planting the seeds of what it is that we're wanting to accomplish, uh, within that day of the bootcamp. So in the morning, first thing will be a 15 minute guided meditation, hopefully to set the stage for women to start to see that they really do have 15 minutes every day to meditate and what it would look like and feel like. So that, that, that happens from July 18th through the 25th. And you can find more information on my website, Dr. Mary from burnout to balance. and then, so that will give, and hopefully provide women with some tools. And if you feel it though, you're ready to embark upon a five month bespoke healing opportunity to really[01:21:00] truly overcome and to do the transformational work, to put burnout behind you. Then I have a program that is called bounce back from burnout, and this was not like your typical self health program, where you might feel merely an experience of a temporary shift. This program will facilitate deep, personal, and lasting transformational and behavioral change. So the way that I approach this is that. From a three prong approach. Um, the women will start off with a one on one, um, discover your sweet spot retreat, and that will allow us to do any necessary functional blood test to really understand what's happening within your lifestyle choices and to really understand what's happening within your energetic system. And so we'll analyze these three systems to come up with a goal and a plan. That is customizable to the individual attending the program. And then what happens over the next five months is that we schedule [01:22:00] eight one and a half hour, one on one energy medicine session. And we go through and we dive into the belief systems. We dive in into the energetic patterns. We dive into all the past life stuff and we work with the Akasha record. And so we go through those eight one and a half hour session, and then every month we meet at the group and I'm introducing and training people on the energy technique so that they can then be empowered to do these, um, techniques at home. So for example, I'll be teaching about the, the, uh, neutral separations that we were talking about in the show. I will be talking about how to really cleanse and charge various different energy centers and how to really reinforce your energetic and ORIC. So, those are just a few of the things that I'll be teaching within this five month program. And throughout the entire five months, there's gonna be learning opportunities, videos, and PDFs, and how to do things as well [01:23:00] as, um, you know, information infusing in with the positive psychology. I'm super, super excited to see the transformation that that happened for these women. and that happens bounced back from burnout. The first group meeting is Tuesday, the 9th of August. And I will be, it will be open to the public. Um, I believe the last week of July. So if, if you're even if this even remotely sounds like it resonates with you from an intuitive perspective, then I would love to have the opportunity to dialogue more about this with you. One on one, just merely, because you should be getting the question, your questions answered. You should be able to have all the information to really listen to your response centers, to know intuitively if this is, if this program is something that will serve you to your highest. Good. So that's what I'm jazzed about. And I [01:24:00] appreciate you asking Kara. Cara: Yeah, that sounds absolutely amazing. I feel like so many women could change their life around with that support through it. And just knowing that you're supporting them in this process just sounds absolutely amazing. I'll make sure that, um, all of your links are in this show notes, and I really appreciate all your insight and everything that you've walked me through on this episode and taking the time to chat with me for our listeners and yeah. Wow. Thank you so much for being here. And, you know, I can't wait to kind of harness this connection that we've already connected with. So thank you so much. Same Mary: Yes. And Cara I cannot, I mean, I know that today I have met a kindred spirit and I know that today is just, the beginning of our relationship. I feel as though we could. Literally could have spoken all day in a natural flow of, you know, how to alternatively and energetically approach the human [01:25:00] system so much gratitude to you. Um, and again, thank you so much for showing up in your strength in all that you do to support women. Um, kudos to you and just thank you again. Cara: to you. I really appreciate this and we will chat soon. Thank you so much, Mary. outro: Thank you so much for joining me this week. If this was your first time. Welcome. And if you've joined me for previous episodes, thank you so much for coming back. Before you go, make sure you share my podcast with a friend or subscribe. If you haven't yet. Those few seconds make a big impact on my podcast and I'd be grateful for the support. I hate that so many women are to the point of burnout, but the positive note that people like Mary who have been through it can help you get back on track and start living the life of your desires. If you want to find out how to connect with her and all her free offerings. Check out the show notes or visit caradempsey.com/18 Don't forget about the grounded dreamers mystical fair. I have some workshops that I'll be hosting [01:26:00] and there's other practitioners as well. The link will be in the show notes. We'll chat soon.