From Over-Thinking to Confidence and Clarity | Interview with Kirsten Parker #22

NOTE: This podcast was transcribed by an AI tool. Please forgive any typos or errors. #22 === Cara: [00:00:00] And today's episode Kirsten helps overthinkers trust their choices. She spent years moving her life and career forward. With a master's degree in tow feeling way more anxious than certainty despite success in smarts. She second guessed big and small decisions, overvalued others' opinions and catastrophize about what could go wrong. Coaching has allowed her to finally feel calm, clear, and confident so she could feel present in her life. And that's exactly what she helps her clients do now. New Intro: Welcome to Floductivity. A place to inspire and empower beings to embrace self-love and self-development. For an achievable balance of productivity. I shared different ways to come back to your intuition through spirituality. Self care, human design. Cycle planning. Wellness and everything in between. Thank you so much for joining me this week. If this is your first time. Welcome. And if you've been here with me before, thank you so much for coming back. I'm so excited to join you in this journey as we learn together Cara: Welcome to the show [00:01:00] Kirsten. Kirsten Parker: Hi, so happy to be here. Thanks for having. Cara: Now the first question I always ask my guests because I know it's really important to me and most of my guests. So I would love to know your non-negotiable self-care practices in your. Kirsten Parker: Ooh, what a great question. water is the silliest, but first one comes to mind. and it's mainly because I, the way that I teach, my clients to stress regulate. when they don't feel like they have hours a day to like meditate or work out. I teach them to, to, I use the phrase called centered, like you hydrate. I just feel like we all need to be realizing that we're animals like we're humans, but we're human animals. And I lived so much of my life, like wound up and anxious without breathing, without like, realizing that I breathing. And I also wasn't drinking enough water. So water's like my gateway to also, like, if I'm constantly staying hydrated, I'm also constantly taking breaks from whatever busyness or like mind drama I'm [00:02:00] in and coming back to center. So those things are kind of intertwined. Cara: Yeah, I love that. water is actually a very, very common one. So you're, you're on point with that, , I love to hear all the different aspects because I think some people. Really think that like self-care is oh, I love, you know, taking a bath, I love going to get a massage and it's like, no, it's just literally caring for yourself. Like, what is the best way that you can nourish yourself? And like, of course, hydration is a key factor of it, you know? Kirsten Parker: Yeah. And I'm exactly like my clients, like our brains tend to like make one thing into, okay, how am I gonna make this newer routine? How am I gonna, like, if I'm gonna start self caring, then like how much, how early do you have to wake up every day and how much work do I have to do? And how much is it gonna cost me? And I, I constantly have to help. Myself and them make things smaller in our mind. So it's like, we're gonna drink water anyway, we can just do it a little bit more and a little more purposefully. And that is also the attitude I wanna have towards like grounding my nervous [00:03:00] system. I just wanna do it all the time regularly and not make a big ass deal about it. Cara: definitely. one of the things that you said also that stuck with me is like, I still don't think I breathe correctly. I still have a hard time breathing. Like even my husband will make comments about like sitting there because I'll just be sitting there and all of a sudden I'll gasp and he's like, what is that? It could be that I have a deviated septum. So I think the fact that I have to be a mouth breather and I absolutely despise that, , it bothers me. And so one of the things on my list of things to do after however many years is to get my deviated septum fixed. So I hope that will help me. Get into the practice of breathing better, but I would love to know any tips to help breathe better. Ultimately, cuz I struggle with it. Kirsten Parker: Yeah, the thing that's made a difference for me is. It's kind of like when you, like, when somebody instructs you to pay attention to chewing and you realize like, oh, I have like, literally never done that. but then you do it. And you're like, oh, this is [00:04:00] different. and it's easy, but it takes mental concentration a Tazy bit. I feel like that's. The attitude towards breathing that has helped me where it's like, oh, if I just pay attention to it a little bit every now and then I end up not chest breathing so much. I end up like belly breathing more naturally. Which is a whole other problem for like people socialized as women, because it's very unattractive in our society to like, not have your stomach sucked in at all times. So I feel like it's also not your fault that you don't breathe often or anatomically correctly because you were probably conditioned not to. Cara: Yes I'm hoping that I can get better at it because it is a struggle for me. Is it something that you. Make sure that you do right when you wake up or is just a practice throughout the day, like drinking water. You're just checking in to say like, am I breathing correctly? Am I grounded in my body? Kirsten Parker: Well, one of my, favorite practices is called heart focused breathing. It's the technique that comes out of the heart math Institute, where I did some of my training [00:05:00] on anxiety management and energy regulation. So. Super helpful, but it's a technique that you don't have to take a break from your day to do so. It's literally what it's called. It's focusing your attention on your heart as you breathe. And sometimes when I teach it to my clients, they realize like, I've never really thought about my heart. I, it took me a second to locate it with my mind. So that's that in itself is very. Connecting it's very nice. You know, if you've ever done a body scan, sometimes, you know, you go to yoga and they just like, have you move your attention to your kneecaps? And you're like, I've literally, haven't thought about my kneecaps in like two years. And it's, it's nice to have that moment to recognize like, oh, okay, this is a part of my body. It's like working super hard all the time. And there's a bunch of delicious research that shows when. Breathe in this way that you don't have to do all day every day. You have, you can do it for like 90 seconds at a time in the middle of like experiencing a stressful email, but it regulates your nervous system. It slows your cortisol production. It increases the production of this delicious other hormone called D H [00:06:00] E a. A bunch of really great, healthy, physical, cognitive things happen that we can go to the details of, but we don't have to. But for me, that practice is really helpful because my mind likes to make lists and be 20 places at once. And, so meditation like sitting and thinking and being in silence, I think I have seasons of it. I do. And then I don't do it and I don't really make that a problem, but I don't wanna make, set my life up so that if I'm not meditating, like I'm not breathing . So I like this kind of in between option that I also know really serves my, you know, mental acuity and my nervous system regulation, where you literally just slow your breathing down and you focus your attention on your heart, and then you keep breathing. And I guarantee if your listener does it right now, they. They might feel a little more grounded and you could do it while you're driving and you could do it while you're talking. So it's really helpful. Cara: that has already helped me. I didn't expect like so soon that something like that whole time, I was like, oh my gosh. I think about breathing, but I've never thought it about it from a heart [00:07:00] space. I've done like chakra meditations and focused on my heart. So I felt it, I know where it's at, but I've never connected the two. And that makes, so much sense. Like just having that thought of, okay, I need to breathe. I'm gonna focus on my heart. it does feel more grounding and it just also gives me like, Mental like, this is how I can connect that. So thank you already. That was such a great tip. I appreciate that. Kirsten Parker: Yeah, Yu. Cara: Yes. I know you are a coach and I would love to hear about how you became a coach to help others navigate overwhelm. Kirsten Parker: I probably have the same story as every coach and service provider that you've talked to, or a lot of them. I know we, you know, we teach what we know and we teach what helped us. So I had a whole different career. I got my master's from Yale in theater stage management. I worked as a stage manager for over 10 years and I, you know, lived a normal life. I mean, I don't know if working in theater is normal to a lot of people, but I lived like a life where you work with people and you have bosses and you have, it was a freelancer life. And I was [00:08:00] always, really good at my job, but really anxious about, well, everything, I didn't know. What I was gonna do when I inevitably quit that career. Cuz I was not a lifer. I didn't know how to figure that out. I did not know. Like I read the books, I read like how to frigging that parachute book. That's like 20 years old. That's like here, you don't know what to do with your life. Read this book. And it's like, no, that's not. No. so it didn't help. like, if it helps you then that's great, but it didn't help me. and I kept getting in, you know, personal relationships. Didn't serve me. They were all, you know, wonderful people, but, you know, I would date someone and they'd say like, Hey, I don't wanna get married. And I'm like, definitely leaving the country. and I was like, yeah, let's stay for a couple years. It's a great idea. it wasn't a great idea. It wasn't aligned. So I had a lot of anxiety and I had a lot of disconnect from my decisions. Like I was choosing to do things like stay in this job and keep staying in these relationships. And I did not like my choices and it felt very disempowering. Kirsten Parker: And I'm sure that, you know, you can relate to this when you, when you watch yourself do [00:09:00] something that you're like, I don't like this and I don't understand it, but I don't know how to do something different and I'm terrified of getting it wrong. So I'm just gonna keep doing this cuz I'm too tired to figure out anything else. So long story short, I eventually figured out that the therapy I was going to to solve this problem of like, how do I. Make my mind up was that's not what therapy is for. therapy serves a lot of useful, wonderful purposes and that's not one of them. So I hired a coach and in five weeks I had learned all of this stuff about myself that I did not know. I learned all this stuff about how to communicate with myself that I was like, why am I do, why, why did this take over 30 years to understand my thoughts and. Understand what's happening when I'm having an emotion. So it changed every, it broke everything open for me so much that I was like, I have to let everyone know that life does not have to be this hard. Cara: Right now. Yeah. I feel that so much. I think that is the case for a lot of people. Well, there's just a point where you're at your breaking point. Like things need [00:10:00] to change. It's up to me to change it. So, what do I need to do to do that? And like a coach is an amazing option because ultimately they help coach you through. But you know, one thing I feel like I found is I remember when I started this like journey to like transforming myself, whatever it may be. And I was looking so much externally, like, what do I need to do externally? What course do I need to take? Let me check this off the list. Let me figure out how to do this. And it's like, back, it's like the more you can find out about yourself, the more you are gonna get in alignment with yourself. It it's nothing external. I mean, don't get me. The coaches are helpful. The courses are helpful. All the things are so helpful in their journey. But if you do not know how to connect with yourself, there is literally a disconnect. So I know just in the journey, just finding yourself in the process is the best investment. Figure out how you operate and you will progress forward. No doubt you won't be stuck, wondering, [00:11:00] overthinking, whatever may be. The more you find find out about yourself and you do need things along the way to support you, but you don't need someone telling you what to do, right. I'm sure that's what you found in the coaching aspect, having a coach and now being a coach. Kirsten Parker: Hundred percent. Yeah. And it's, it's that hearing that can be the best news for someone at a certain point. It can also be the most frustrating thing to hear for someone at a different point, cuz they're like, I just want the answers. So the reason that I landed in this like particular niche of. Helping people who know they're smart, but also know they overthink stuff. And all I do is help them restructure their decision making. We end up talking about all kinds of decisions, but it's because that's what was missing for me, that ability to communicate with myself that you were mentioning, I couldn't do it. And when that's your starting point, it doesn't really matter what decision you're making, whether it's like, where do I take my career? Or how do I respond to this text message? It's [00:12:00] it, it, I wanted to help people on the ground level where it's like, okay, when you think, when you think something like you want to do something, or you want to solve a problem, your brain will immediately respond with fears and questions. And if we can put that into the plan and know how to handle them, Literally your, every decision will get easier. Your entire life will get easier. So let's teach you how to communicate with yourself. I think that, I mean, I think you nailed it cuz I think that's the most invaluable skill we could ever build. Cara: it took me like two and a half years into this, like. Space that I've kind of fallen into is I search so much endlessly, like, give me the answer, who do I need to talk? You know, like all these things. And it was like, this moment I woke up, that was just like, if I create this thing, whatever it is, if it doesn't feel aligned or feel good with me, like, what's the point someone can tell me I can do it, but if it doesn't feel good or if it doesn't feel like that's success for me, why am I gonna do it? So [00:13:00] knowing ultimately what you want, and sometimes you need someone to talk to about that because there's so many times where having that conversation of the options and being able to talk it out with someone to help you go through. That decision process. I'm sure that's so valuable to so many women who are overwhelmed in their life because so many women are beyond overwhelmed with trying to do it all. So having someone to walk you through, is it something that you do that's primarily for people trying to have their own business, or is it across the board? Just overwhelm? What, no matter what you're doing, what are, what's your general ICA for your coaching? Kirsten Parker: Well, the people I typically work with are, are their own path carvers. So they're not necessarily all entrepreneurs or freelancers. Although many of them are me. I work with a lot of creative people. it's just probably my like wacky theater spirit. I can't help it. I also work with a lot of in academia and a lot of people, you know, in their [00:14:00] second career or creating their second career. So I definitely speak the language of people who want to carve their own path. and frankly, I don't know a lot of people who aren't carving their own path this day and age, but I know maybe I don't hang out with a lot of like that kind of person, , but, so not specifically entrepreneurs or not only business owners, but people who really definitely wanna, Feel in charge of their life, which of course puts extra pressure on their decisions in their minds because they're like, oh, I'm the one who is entirely responsible for screwing this up or not. that's what I help with. Cara: yeah, that makes sense. I do kind of have a question as probably like my own personal. Reflection to see if it, it is the same, but like when you started to go through this journey to realizing you had the keys to unlock what you're trying to do, and having a coach help you through that, in that transformation of your life, do you feel like you had to make a shift of the people you surrounded yourself with so that [00:15:00] mentally you could kind of stay up to par with that? Kirsten Parker: Well, yes, that is actually a great point. It's like, Hmm, why don't I hang out with a certain kind of people. Yeah. , I think that I'm evidence, like I can look at myself as evidence that when you surround yourself with intentional people, it impacts who you are, the quality of your life and, your self concept, how you see yourself. It's like really good question, because there were changes because, I was a person who was watching myself make decisions. I didn't like, and looking back, I'm like, oh yeah, a lot of people around me were making that very normalized. It's like, we get used to just complaining about stuff or expecting the worst or settling. And that's not a judgment because, you know, well, we're all in whatever season of life we're in. But I think there is a definite shift that I can see very clearly now I have a, a dear friend who probably won't hear this, but she , she's planning a wedding right now and she just hates it. She hates it. She hates every aspect of it. And I don't have conversations with her about it because I'm like my [00:16:00] whole job is helping people not hate their decisions. like, I can't just entertain this complaint Fest I complain, I vent. I'm a human, but it's not a way of life for me anymore. Which again, I don't fault anyone for being in this season, but it's, it's kind of like when you said you have to get to that point where you decide something needs to change. And it's unfortunate that we have to get so frustrated with ourselves to do that, but, you know, whatever works Cara: Yeah, I mean, I definitely had a shift. That's why I was ultimately asking. And it's like the people that were in my life before, it was just like, I love them and I still love them. They were so important in that season of my life. But you're when you said I surround myself with intentional people. It's like, yes, I need those people that can help me navigate through the decisions to make sure the things that I'm creating, the things that I'm paving the wave for. Aligns with me, even from the outside, even though I know within, if it feels good or not, it's having that [00:17:00] support system to help guide you in a way, because they're doing the same thing for themselves. Like they want that support too. The idea of mastermind, accountability partners, like all those little aspects, just to kind of keep you going, because once you start on this path where you're paving your own way, it's like, well, I don't wanna go back to what that was before and I can enjoy the process trying to get there. And I wanna make sure that, we're helping each other up on the way, let's support each other and lift each other up because it's up to us. I truly believe that it's The women are going to change the world. If we can tap into what we know inside the intuition and really connect with ourselves, I feel like we can change the world and being able to help women in a way that feels supportive, understand their body, understand how their mind works. To know that, we have different seasons of life. We have different seasons of our cycle. Knowing that it's okay to take a rest when you need to. And it's okay that when you [00:18:00] rest, you can be productive and get all the stuff done. And so just knowing that, knowing ourselves, honoring our body in the process, like we will change the world. Kirsten Parker: Ugh. Amen. Cara: Yes. Kirsten Parker: I think to your point, I know I have a different relationship now with a lot of things that affects the kind of people I wanna create my world with because I have a different relationship with productivity. Right. I have a different relationship with autonomy. I think that we have a say in everything we do on like the most basic level, like we're animals on a spinning rock. I'm not interested in making that argument to people around me. My life is just easier and more frictionless. If around me are on board with that. And they're like, yeah, everything is a choice. kirsten-parker_recording-2_2022-06-09–t12-40-57am–guest670811–kirsten-parker: you know, Kirsten Parker: I got married last year. have decisions to make about, you know, holiday plans and things to participate in. And, , these are the little decisions where people can. Give up their autonomy and think like, well, I don't have a choice in that and, or, you know, your job, whether you work for yourself or someone else you can easily believe like, well, I just don't [00:19:00] have a choice in that. I have to do this. I have to work this hard. And there's no part of me that's interested in believing those things. And when someone believes that it comes out, it comes at you and I, I just like, I don't have the energy to deal with it. So, and I also have a very different relationship with idea of, you know, decisions in general and regret. And I feel like a lot of people are spend a lot of their lives asking me how I know nervous, anxious, that things aren't gonna work out. And feel like the first two years of me learning this new language of, you know, myself was really building this belief that it's gonna be okay. That's not in question anymore. We can make decisions. We can fail at stuff. We can succeed at stuff. Life will go on until it doesn't, but I'm not gonna worry about things not working out anymore. I'm not interested in like that taking up my bandwidth ever again. And that comes at you when that's someone's way of life. Cara: I would love to know your take on hustle culture. Kirsten Parker: Oh, hustle culture. I, don't buy into it. and I say that [00:20:00] as a super productive, overachieving, hard worker, like I don't wanna sugar coat it and make it look like I work, you know, six hours a day, three days a week. I work really hard. I think that the hustle mentality, the wholesale culture, the part that I disagree with is, This premise that you have to pay your dues, this whole paradigm that I have to suffer until I've earned, enjoying my life. tomorrow's not guaranteed. I, can't get behind this idea that like, okay, I'll just grind it out and I'll agree to hate my life until X time that I'm not in charge of. so I really strongly disagree with that. And that's not to say I disagree with, your workflow changing. I mean, it's like, that's the, that's your whole platform. I think it's, are times when I am really on it and I love like, you know, the sun is. A lot right now, cuz we're in the middle of summer and my body is like, well, the sun is out. Kirsten Parker: We can work. And if the sun is out from like six 30 in the morning to eight 30 at night, sometimes that's my Workday right now. Cuz I'm in charge of everything I do. [00:21:00] And I'm like freaking obsessed with it. I think that's why I have to center. Like I hydrate. I think that's why I have to tell myself repeatedly, like you need to take breaks because the hustle culture ingrains in us, this idea that it's okay to keep fueling yourself with judgment. I just don't buy into this idea that you have to suffer now. And whether that's like a period of a year, and then you can like, enjoy the spoils of your labor next year, or like, today just has to suck and then tomorrow will be better. Cause tomorrow's not guaranteed. I feel like that's one of the nuggets of special culture that I know drove a lot of my overworking before. And so I have very strong opinions about it now. Cara: Yeah, I feel that too. , I felt like I was only worthy in relation to my productivity. Like I never felt like I was, , due to rest, I always had to keep pushing myself and it was very prevalent in the hairdressing community, especially when I started. I see hustle culture [00:22:00] slowly dying in the background. You know what I mean? Like the people that thrive on it, I get it because I was in it. I was addicted to it, checking everything off, doing all the things, making sure that I was doing all the things. Right. Especially trying to start your own business. There's so much behind it. It is so overwhelming and always feeling like you're never doing enough and you're always behind. I feel like there's always that. And so that's so attached to the hustling cuz you think you have to hustle to it. And I was working so hard the first two years of trying to build this so hard. I would just like work through, get to the thing that I was trying to do. And then I would be like, Why I don't feel the way that I thought I was gonna feel. And so, one of the things that was introduced to me was creating goals of how I wanted to feel for the year not do. And the whole purpose of me being able to build this business is like building a business. That feels good to me. And so I kept thinking, I had to hustle, hustle, hustle, then be able to, like [00:23:00] you said, sit back and relax. you know, aligned action. Yes. But I, feel like the majority of the things that have come to me, the opportunities was when I actually was like, I am going to take a step back. I'm gonna make it easy. I'm gonna do what feels good. And that's just kind of a reminder as the whole thing. Like if anybody's starting out, it's like, don't feel like you have to do it all now because supposed to feel good along the way. So don't think that hustling now you can relax later. It's like, you have to just find that workflow that feels good to you. Check in with your body throughout the day, drink the water, get grounded, breathe, and I don't have it figured out. I have to remind myself every day. Do I need to probably put sticky notes up all over my office to say, breathe, drink water, to remind myself. Yes. But try and do those things to remind yourself. My job before I would go so long without drinking water, nourishing my body. And it's like, I am sitting at my desk. I have a choice to pick up my water and drink it. Marker — Kirsten Parker: Mm. Yeah. [00:24:00] And I think for someone starting their business, if that's where someone is, or even if someone's like, whatever, finishing their dissertation, like getting through their kids' first year of life, like. Whatever it is. , if you buy into the hustle culture, you might confuse like hard with the way it like that feeling. You said that I'm behind and I'm not doing enough feeling that's insidious to the hustle culture. And there is a difference between working hard. Like you can work your buns off and you can feel exhausted, but if you don't do it from a mindset, If you don't do it, fueling yourself with like, I need to catch up, cuz I'm not where I'm supposed to be. It makes all the difference. And I have not worked with a single person who hasn't felt that feeling. I'm just always behind. I'm never doing enough and that's a really painful way to live because the thing is, if that's your mindset, it comes back to this like. Idea that I was talking about where if like every decision is difficult and complicated, we probably just need to [00:25:00] change the way you make decisions, not work harder at every individual decision. Same thing happens with this mindset of like I'm behind and never doing enough, cuz that will not go away. And I know because it was really attractive thought when I first started my business, cuz it's like, oh, I'm at day one. So clearly I'm already behind like what . But then over four years later I have amazing clients who get amazing results. I have a six figure business and what does my brain still wanna think I'm behind? And I'm not doing enough. Look at all these other people who have this, this and this look at these people who are making this in the world. So if that's your mindset, you cannot outwork a behind mindset. Your brain will tell you, you are behind and not doing enough. No matter what I know it sucks, but you gotta like give some help with that. Marker — Cara: You do? I mean, I was there. I don't know what helped me out of it. I don't honestly know, but I got to a point where I was like, I'm going to make it easy. If I don't like doing it, my business isn't gonna end. [00:26:00] And if I don't have the budget to hire someone, is it really that important? And so shifting to honestly what feels good and it's like, if it's that important, I will find time to do it. And you know, I've found too, I use my cycle in my business, it kind of seems a little out there, but it's really helped that, like, I know I can handle a lot. In the mid of my cycle. So is that when I have more patience, probably. So if I have to do something that I don't ideally love, let's do it then. So I don't wanna check my computer out, the window. Like five days before I get my period, so it goes back to knowing yourself, knowing when you can handle those tasks and making sure that you leave space and not feeling like you left it the last minute and say, oh, I did it again. So it's like, you control your mindset if you get to know your body, you know, when you can handle certain things in your business, Kirsten Parker: And I think that's 100% what I needed help with. And since I work with overthinkers, it's 100% what they need help with. It's [00:27:00] like, how do I change that mindset that I'm always behind? How do we do that? Like you can't exclusively think your way out of that. You have to learn to connect with your body. And I was so against that. I was like, this is so woo. And I don't have time for this. I just wanna use my brain cuz that's the thing that solves all the problems. But if you check in with your body and you learn how to do that, it's like, are you behind? Or you, are you exactly where you are? It's so simple and it's such good news. It's like, no, my body's here. We're just where we are. We're not supposed to be anywhere else because like, we cannot be we're here. It's so grounding. So I love that connection that you're drawing. Cara: Yeah, well, and I would love to know cuz I mean, I was definitely that way and I just, I had like a full blown spiritual moment. So like I jumped into the spiritual world where I was just like, I'm ready. I'm you know what? I can't live a life like that. Like I'm just gonna do what I can and woo, woo. This and woo that. But I know there's so many people who, if they got out of their head and got into their [00:28:00] body, Life would be so much easier. Like understand what can you control? What can't you control? If you can't control it, you don't need to be worrying about it. You don't need to be overwhelmed about it because there's probably nothing you can do to change that situation. So why are you wasting your energy on something like that? what is something that can help listeners get in their body and out of their head? So they understand that when you're on that thought loop, you don't feel in your body. Like it's really, really hard to make good decisions and not be overwhelmed in the process. a couple things, I think heart focus is breathing. It's like a super easy entry point. also if, I'm talking to someone who's particularly like mind, leaning like brain leaning, I will. Teach them about emotions and how emotions are a chemical process that happens in your body. And that's a whole language that so many of us, even if we are connected to our bodies, , we're not really fluent in because we tend to think our emotions and it's a very wacky experience, but super effective. Kirsten Parker: And you can [00:29:00] probably do it like within the next 20 minutes to try to feel an emotion in your body because that's, that's a chemical process that has a beginning and a middle and an end. And if you don't think your way through the emotion, it usually lasts only about 90 seconds. So that's another good gateway for people to connect with this like, thing that they've been dragging around with their brains, their whole lives, if they're one of my clients and then also just experiencing what it can feel like to connect with your body. Like I'm a big, fan of Dr. Kristen, and she teaches amongst other things like how to embody self-compassion and not just like, think, oh, self-compassion is a nice idea. let's think about it. Let's think self-compassionate thought she really helps you like embody it by putting, you know, open palms on your chest and extending your exhale. It's like, if you just do that for a second and you feel what it feels like without there needing to be a correct answer to that question. That's connection. Cara: Yeah, that's great. That's so great. I mean I think if more people could be aware of their emotions and getting out of their head, there [00:30:00] would be so much less suffering in the process because it's like what you said before. Like we all have a choice, better situation, and sometimes it takes redefining what you think is what you want, what you have, whatever it may be. And. You know, I never thought I would leave my career after 19 years. Like it was like within, you know, just a few months of that happening. And then when it came to a point where I gave myself the space, I slowed down, I got out of my head. I really tried to connect with myself, like, is this the right thing to do? And it was like, I always felt like that was never a choice for me. You know? Like I never thought it was a choice for me. And it's like that, that leap to know that I had a choice. It's like, oh, we all have choices. my family? And I have to make huge, you know, adjustments to be able to handle me not working abruptly. Yes. Did everything fall apart around us? No. Did life get easier? You know, it took some time before that happened, but it was my [00:31:00] every day felt easier. and not everything was figured out, but it was the power to know that, like, I did have a choice if something that you're continuing complaining about keeps you up at night and you have a choice to change it. that's your choice. If you wanna hold onto that, that's driving you nuts, losing sleep and probably affecting your health. I don't know. You know, that's up to you to make that decision, right. Kirsten Parker: Mm. And I think that's so hard because we go into all our, nothing thinking so often. So you can usually see a choice, but it's like quitting and blowing your life up. That's the option your brain is presenting you with. And you're like, well, I don't wanna do that. So I guess this is my other only option. That's where getting some kind of help, whether it's a coach or something, someone outside of your own head can be so helpful to just help you see there's a spectrum of options, cuz just like you said, you can change what you want in your mind. You can decide I wanna be the hair stylist or the stage manager who, goes slower. [00:32:00] Who takes breaks, who doesn't fricking. I remember I was like, I would try to answer emails driving, which is not safe, but I felt such internal urgency to be like, oh my God, I have to respond immediately. I have no choice, which is for fricking insane. But if you can see options between like the thing you're complaining about or unhappy with, that's not aligned, that's not serving you. That's not healthy. And like ultimate catastrophe, then you can start giving yourself more options. Like, it's sometimes it's work to see those decisions that are even available to you cuz you're right. I never tried to be the self-caring stage manager. I just was the complaining stage manager who was like good at her job, but also was like hated the freelancing of it all and hated the culture, which I hear is also changing. We hope so, I never tried that and you know, I could have, I might have gotten fired. I might have not gotten hired again. I don't know, but I always think it's a gift when we can. Break out of our own all or nothing thinking to see options. But I just know that it's sometimes a real big struggle. So validating that ** Cara: yes, [00:33:00] for sure.there was no self care hairdresser on my end, you know, I did not know how to protect my energy. I didn't. There was so many things that I think now maybe I wouldn't have burned myself out if I would've done these things in the process boundaries, you know, I feel like that's the other case is like, I didn't not have boundaries for myself. I expected other people to set my boundaries or respect boundaries. I didn't even set. And so just knowing how to do that, it's like, oh, Those boundaries that's for me to do. Okay. Check, you know, and I don't know, I don't know if I would be able to translate into that now, if I could be a hairdresser and be able to set those boundaries, it could have well been, you know, I needed to kind of let it go, but I also think knowing that you don't have to take that jump. And if there is a way you don't feel like you can take that jump, what are the small things that you can incorporate in your life that it doesn't feel overwhelming? How can you simplify it and take away that urgency in a way that you don't have to [00:34:00] leave your job? And I think for me, , it felt like the right thing with COVID. It was like all or nothing, but I don't think that's the case for everyone. It was just like that specific thing for me at the time. And so, , how can you tap into that creativity if that's what you need, how can you just honor yourself in the process? If you can't leave your job, bring more joy into your daily life and take away the stress. Like how can you do that? Human Design AD: Are you longing for a life with purpose and ease maybe you're dreaming of a place where you could connect to and understand your natural abilities. By unlocking and using your human design chart, you're able to connect and understand and honor your soul while increasing harmony and success in your life. Human design lens, a microscope. To how the universe designed you from birth. Once, you know, what powers your energetic circuitry you'll have the self-awareness tools to engage. Your highest perspective. Human design supports and powers and aligns your relationships, career and home life. It is time for you to look within at how powerful you [00:35:00] are and show up as your authentic self. Human design can be daunting at first, but download my free interactive chart to help you understand the foundations. The chart that I've provided is all clickable, the energy centers, the boxes, anything on the chart that looks like a box, click it, and it will take you to that description so that you can learn more. Head over to Caradempsey.com/hd to download your free. Human design interactive workbook now. Kirsten Parker: Yes. Oh my gosh. And my I'm a client is coming to mind cuz she's a perfect example, cuz she wanted to leave her job. She was super fed up with it. She was burnt out. She had this toxic coworker, she had another career that she was already building and committed to and excited about, but she poured a lot of her life into this first career and spent a lot of money. Got a lot of degrees for it. She, I think that's a perfect example because sometimes you either feel like I can't leave the job right now, or it's not the right time or whatever, or maybe you do wanna build something else up, but you're not ready [00:36:00] to like leap off the bridge before it's built kind of thing. So what we did for her was I work with overthinkers. So we gotta separate to simplify. We gotta like take all the thought that your brain are like piling up on top of each other. We gotta separate them, which is an exhausting process to do by yourself. If you are used to thinking of all of the things at once. So again, that's why help can be helpful, but you can also do it for yourself by writing down, cuz your brain has to work more slowly if you're putting pen to paper. So my first suggestion is to get your grievances out either with someone else or like writing them out so that you can separate them so that you can see. Those opportunities to take back your agency and E you listed such good ones, like protecting your energy, like this toxic coworker of hers. We neutralized him. We, equipped her to just think like, how can I respond differently to the thought of him, to the presence of him, to his actions and words. And it's like, we gotta slow down. We gotta take it [00:37:00] this micro, but it's super effective because the more specific we can get with, like, how can we equip you to on protect your energy around this person, neutralize him with a little like neutral laser gun. Then he is no longer a problem. You can be around him and you might not be delighted by it. And it might take more work for you to be around him, but it won't be as if you don't have any choice, you have to be drained by him and you can't feel better until you get outta this job. And if you can do that with all of these things, it might sound like a daunting task to start, but if, if you can get into it and at least address one thing, whether it's your boss or it's your, your schedule or whatever, if you can find some autonomy anywhere in your day and take it back, I promise it will create momentum that will help you take on the next thing and feel stronger there. That's my advice. Cara: Yeah, definitely. I mean, I had moments of like, oh, there's people unaware of the energy they bring it's overwhelming for me [00:38:00] going, you know, in a room or doing certain things. And it's, like hard making sure that you can't cut everybody outta your life from your whole life. You know what I mean? Like there's a point where you're just like, okay, I have to. It's a me thing. Not a them thing. If I get to a point where it's just like, Nope, Nope, I'm not gonna do that. And it's just like, well, you know, I need to be able to be around people that don't fit the description of that. I like, I'm gonna surround the people that are gonna uplift me when I'm trying to get that encouragement around what I'm doing in my business. But like there's no world that you're gonna be able to go out in public and not have someone that you can feel their energy walk into the room. And just knowing that I can take a breath, I can walk out of the room in a way that's not rude to just take a moment and say, what's mine, what's theirs and have the awareness of it. And it's just been such a powerful thing to say, oh, I can be around all sorts of people. I need to be able to. You know, understand that I [00:39:00] might be sensitive, but it's also my responsibility to be able to control what I can handle, what I can't handle. And, you know, staying stuck in my house and not being around other people is just not an option. You know? Kirsten Parker: No, I don't think that would feel very thriving either. I think it makes us feel weak when we're like, we feel like we're solving the problems by isolating ourselves or if that's the way you handle all your problems, you get very isolated. Sometimes it's hard for our brains to go to seeing options for ourselves, because what really we want is for like that person to be better. Cara: Yes. Kirsten Parker: really want is for like the industry to be better or the schedule to be kinder or the money to be larger and that's a very attractive place for our brains to focus. But if it's, like you said, out of your control or it's something that you can commit to working to change, but you are not in charge of the change, then you have to bring your brain back to your sphere of control where you're like, okay. Yeah, it would be lovely if he was different or if this [00:40:00] was different and, well, here I am. What do I wanna do? Cara: yeah, not different. So what can I do? How can I, , still participate in this life and, you know, it was one of those things going back to learning about how I'm built is using my human design made me feel like seen and heard. And my emotional center is open, which means. When someone is complaining and they have that complaining mindset, I have a hard time making that separation. I am very susceptible to someone when they're angry, but also when they're happy. But knowing that sometimes if I feel this emotion, I have to leave the room gauge if it's mine gauge, if it's someone else's and it's just having that awareness to say, oh, that's not mine. And so I don't need to carry that on with me. And if I would've known that as a hairdresser, if I would've known how easily I would absorb other people's energy. It would, be a mind blowing experience for me [00:41:00] knowing that now, because I don't need to take on their emotions. Kirsten Parker: No, you know what I think hostel culture would tell you, you do have to, because that's another thing that's insidious to the he culture is that you can't make yourself the most important person. Like don't be crazy. Cara: No, Kirsten Parker: don't be selfish. clearly like name your pick, everyone you can think of your kids, your spouse, your boss, your clients, your mentors, the people who are doing it. They're all more important than you. Anyone on the planet who can have an opinion about you is more important than you according to hustle culture. So I think everything that you're saying speaks to this like core message that you put out in the world, which is like, you have to put yourself first, you have to make yourself the most important. And like, if that's a radical idea, then yeah, here we go. We're being radical. Cara: yeah. Being radical. I'm sorry. You might not like it, but I was burnt out two years ago. I couldn't do life. Like it was so hard. And once you [00:42:00] realize , you have control over those external situations. And if you can't change it, then you have to stop worrying about it. You gotta move on. You gotta let that go. Kirsten Parker: Yeah. Cara: I'm sorry if you're still stuck in that mindset of just putting everybody else first, it's hard to jump out of it. I know it's hard. It's really, really, really hard. And it's setting those boundaries. It's saying, I need this time. I need this space. And if someone doesn't respect that, that's probably their own reflection within themselves is like, they don't feel like they're worthy to have that time. So they don't think you're worthy to have that time. Kirsten Parker: Yeah. it's so true., you've hit on so many key points, but I think that nugget of being able to communicate with yourself not even just hear yourself, but like take yourself seriously, respect what you're hearing. If you're hearing this isn't okay. I can't do this. I don't like this. You can respect that. You can make that important. And that can guide some next [00:43:00] decisions, which might not be comfortable, but Hey, if you're not comfortable right now, then we know you can survive that. Cara: Yeah. I mean, working on yourself, it's not a easy process, but. Boy, it's empowering. You learn so much more. It's hard to explain because it's a hard process and I don't wanna like detour anyone from making that step, but it's just like, once you go over that threshold and you see the potential and the possibilities and you see how much suffering there was in the rear view, and that you can enjoy the moments, you can enjoy the process. It's the best thing you can do for yourself. And those people around you, they'll see how it benefits those around you. And they'll wanna support you in that. Kirsten Parker: Yeah. And I always have clients start with vision goals and values work, like really naming and articulating what's important to you. And it is hard work, but like human is hard work. And I think having that vision of who you wanna be like, really not only communicating with yourself now, but like to know yourself, like the five years from now version of [00:44:00] you, this future self, that like, is exactly what you were talking about. Like, how do you want to feel like setting that as a goal? Cuz you're gonna be a real person five years from now or six months from now. We don't have to make it hard like six months from now you on the timeline is a real person. And if you can let her influence your decisions today at all, that is so empowering and it makes the hard stuff today. Feel more worth it. because you can imagine like, just think back to like the last hardest thing you did and being so grateful for yourself for being willing to do that. Cuz it's like, man, that was difficult, but oh my gosh, I'm a rockstar. And I'm so grateful that I was willing to do that for the sake of being where I am now. Like that's how you can soften the edges, I guess, of taking on this work or continuing it cuz you know, when is it done? But having that vision of yourself being really grateful I talk to my future self all the time. I'm like, I'm doing this for you. like, Cara: Yes. Kirsten Parker: you're welcome, cuz this isn't fun right now in this moment. Cara: yeah. It's like, what does she [00:45:00] do in her day? That makes her so awesome. And like, how can I integrate that into today? I had this moment where I looked in my closet and I was like, Ugh, those are all the clothes I used to wear as a hair stylist. And they're cute, but like, I don't wanna dress like that anymore. I don't wanna wear heels. I always had this dream of wearing just like. Comfortable soft like a leisure wear and not wearing makeup anymore. And all these things that like, I just couldn't do in my job. And I had a moment where I was like, I'm gonna go shopping. I'm gonna go shopping and I'm gonna let my future self show up and tell me what she wants to wear, because it's just like this dream. And it was the craziest experience because I love comfortable soft clothing. I did not take one thing off the rack before, I would touch it, I would feel what it felt like. And I'd be like, Nope, not today. I'm not doing that today. And I've never done anything like that. And it was so empowering. Kirsten Parker: Oh, I'm obsessed with that. It's so good. It's like, just let her make some decisions. I love it. Cara: [00:46:00] Yeah, I love connecting with my future self. I will tell you that, I had two separate meditations that were really powerful, and I agree with you. Like I have seasons of when I'm really meditating and you know, you just gotta what fits in your season of life. That's gonna support you. And before I had this like full blown, spiritual awakening, I did have this meditation where I had a dream of my perfect day and it wasn't like a win the lottery kind of perfect day. It was like what you would do on a daily basis. And I was a hair stylist at the time and I was not doing hair. I was sitting on my back patio, drinking my coffee with my kids. There was like ease in the air. It was this thing that I was like, okay, that's not my life. That's not gonna happen. And then COVID happened. And I had this moment where. It was a few months later and I'm drinking my coffee with my kids around. That was kind of the moment where I was like, maybe I do have a choice. And so it was like that moment of letting myself kind [00:47:00] of feel like what's the possibility and I didn't fight the idea. I just didn't think it was possible. And then when it was happening and I still hadn't decided to leave my job at that time, it was a defining moment to say, I think this meditation is telling me it's time to leave my job, fast forward. So it's kind of crazy. And then I had another one that was, trying to connect with my higher self. And I had in the past, she showed me what to wear and she disappeared. She wasn't coming out and I got really scared. Am I on the right path? And this was when I was in the process of diving deep into my podcast. I hadn't launched it yet, but I was batching and I got really scared. She's not coming out. What's going on. And I launched my podcast and I went for it. She like came out blazing. And so it was one of those that like, sometimes I feel like that higher self is like hiding. Like, are you gonna make the jump? Are you going to do it? Because when you do I'll come and say like [00:48:00] you did it. But it was one of those where I got really nervous. I was second guessing myself. And I think it was showing me like, no, you were right all along, but you need to have more trust in your decisions. Kirsten Parker: Mm. Oh, so good. Yeah. And it takes courage and it takes, you know, it takes surrounding yourself with people who normalize having courage and doing self prioritizing, scary off the beaten path things. And it does take, that self trust. But not exclusively, right? It's like, it's, you don't feel exclusively courageous and self trusting. You feel a cocktail of emotions. And like at least half of them feel very icky. So Cara: yeah. It is. It's, it's tough, but I mean, it's also the lessons. Like you're not gonna get it. Perfect. You're not meant to get it. Perfect. I'm reading a book and I'm gonna butcher the quote, but it's like Thomas Edison failed 10,000 times before he made the light bulb. So just know that like you have a vision. You put that energy behind it, [00:49:00] you have the desire, you'll get there, you'll have lessons, but the whole point is like, what can you learn? How can you make it better and move forward? And if it doesn't feel good doing that anymore. Okay. I get it. Maybe there's another path, but knowing that it's gonna take some bumps in the road and just, how much are you willing to put into it to get Kirsten Parker: Yeah. And putting failure into the plan. I mean, that's like one of my life slogans is like we put surprises and failures and feelings into the plan. So surprises and failures and feelings showing up does not mean. Something has gone wrong, Cara: Yeah. Kirsten Parker: just means human is happening. And I think that's another one of those things like house of culture keeps everybody like looking Pinterest. Perfect. And you can Des aspire to that. You can work really hard at it, but if you plan on meeting yourself where you are every day and like embodying, so you don't feel, you don't believe the lie that your brain is telling you that you're behind, then you can encounter surprises and failures with your full strength. Like, okay, this doesn't have to [00:50:00] feel great, but I also don't have to make it mean anything. It doesn't need to mean. Cara: Yeah, definitely. I have a question and I would like to know if you find any correlation to people having like a narrow divergency and being overwhelmed. Have you found that in your work or am I just kind of throwing spaghetti at all? Kirsten Parker: Well I actually have been told that I should get tested for ADHD, so I don't know. Maybe I'm neuro divergent too. I have clients who explain to me when they do have ADHD. that's primarily like my experience. they do explain it in a way that like overwhelm is part of the deal, cuz their brains wanna go everywhere at once. And if their brains are. Asked to constrain to one thing for a long time. That can also be very overwhelming, cuz it feeds this story that like I'm not doing it right. Cuz if I'm not, I'm not comfortable and I'm not taking in this information or I'm not behaving the way I'm supposed to. It's overwhelming. [00:51:00] So I've limited experience. I don't know. maybe might have a different conversation in six months if I like , get some kind of test. But I do think that, I mean, I'm encompassing a lot in this idea that we talk about this whole hustle culture, but I do think that it paints a, a very limiting picture of how you can be in order to feel successful and fulfilled. And I feel like that is not the way that our human population looks. We don't all look one way. We don't all think one way. And I think that in and of itself feeling like you're set up to fail or the system isn't set up for you. I feel like that can be overwhelming before we even get into any of the day to day functioning. Cara: Yeah. I mean, I think. Personally, just more I talk to people, I feel like there is probably more people neuro divergent than not. I feel like there's so many people that are like, I process information differently. I do things differently and it's just like, why are we making things so difficult for people against the way they learn or they do [00:52:00] things and then make them feel bad about it in the process? You know what I'm trying to say? kirsten-parker_recording-2_2022-06-09–t12-40-57am–guest670811–kirsten-parker: Mm-hmm Cara: Have found that now that there's so many online courses and things that I can do in my own way, I. Gather information so much easier now than in a school setting. I had a really hard time being able to concentrate around other people. I have times where I can absorb so much information and other times where my brain's like, Nope, we're not doing it. And so to be at certain, timeframe with everyone else, I just always felt like I was always behind. And so I think it it's like being overwhelmed, hustle culture, and so many people probably having some sort of aspect of neuro divergency and it's just like, why can't we just accept how everybody processes information differently? Kirsten Parker: Yeah. And I think that speaks really well to your overall message of working on your own rhythms and checking in with what you want first, what's gonna be easy. And then not [00:53:00] assuming it's a problem, if it doesn't fit into somebody else's box. Cuz I think you're exactly what you're describing. I was so grateful that a client told me on day one, cuz I take session notes and I email them and she told me, her brain processes differently. She said differently. Even that is kind of unfortunate, cuz it's like your brain process is the way your brain processes it's like different from who's. But anyway, she let me know. I don't retain things well, auditorily and I was like, oh, that's super convenient. I take session notes and I'll just make sure that they're detailed and good. And if it works for us, then that's what we'll keep. And if I need to change it, and I think it took a lot of trial and error and a lot of struggle in her life for her to get to this point where she approached situations, being like, Hey, I need to get what I need to get here. And here's how my brain works. So let's make this work for me. And it was great cuz now she like loves the sessions, but showing up to your life just being like, this is how I operate. So I'm [00:54:00] not apologizing for it. I'm just like making sure I get what I need. I get what I want. So powerful. Cara: it is. And it's so good that she does that. And I will say, I can't tell you how many times I've tried to say, like, I wanna talk about this idea, but I know my brain processes things differently. So I would love to hear how you do it, cuz I tend to take things and sometimes I just way over complicate 'em but it makes sense to me. So I'm trying to come up with solutions for people, but it's like, I don't want them to be like, I don't know where to start. This seems so complicated. And it's like, I know, I'm sorry, but then it's like, why am I apologizing? Like I did it for me. I'm trying to help you out. You know, if you don't want it, don't take it. I sometimes retain things. I sometimes not. So it is one of those just like knowing when, uh, how I can retain information and you know, sometimes I listen the podcast and I retain all of it. And then sometimes I'm listening to a podcast with two young children running around so it's always circumstantial because if there's [00:55:00] a lot of stimulation around me, I'm not gonna be able to focus on something. So I really have to make sure I separate that. And it's like, no wonder when I realized that with my children, no wonder I had such a hard time paying attention in school. Like if I had to focus on something and there's 20 other kids in the class, why is there tapping that on their desk? And just learning about your yourself, that's the can do. Right? I would love to talk about your podcast, the decision masters, and I would love to know the process, what it's been like for you in the process, if it has been overwhelming and how you've made it a way that's worked for you. Kirsten Parker: yes. Decision masters. I love talking about decisions all day long, so that's what the podcast is about. really helping people structure, their foundation, strengthen their foundation I know how to handle decisions from big ones. Yeah. But also the little everyday friction. Where we overcomplicate everything from, what am I gonna wear to this thing? How do I respond to this text [00:56:00] message?, do we eat this for dinner or that for dinner stuff that we really don't want to be spending so much energy on. So that's what we're talking about, you mentioned before, like redefining things. I help people understand themselves better, but also like understand what they're arriving to today with like we're arriving at today with like all these biases, all these habits, all of these conditioned thoughts, all of these thoughts and ways of operating that maybe worked in a different context, like grad school or your first job or your last industry or whatever your last relationship, but. if you can spot those and you can spot your current context and you can decide, okay, what do I wanna keep? What do I wanna change? That's super empowering too. So we talk a lot about defining things. How do you wanna define a right decision? We talk about regret. How do we make a decision? And no, we're gonna feel good about it. Super useful thing to be able to answer. and it has not been an overwhelming process. It has been a lot of work. That's like this idea that , you can work hard without like hustle, driving it. I'm [00:57:00] just coming out of a period of that because I decided I wanted to do what you do. Right. I wanted to batch, and I'm learning everything for the first time, all at once. And I think making that agreement , with myself up front was super useful. Because I was like, okay, we're gonna do everything for the first time. It's gonna take twice as long as we expect. And you're going to find out what you don't know by encountering problems. Okay. Like that agreement alone just made it a more frictionless process because I would encounter something. I didn't know. And I was like, oh, look, we're, we're going to plan This is how it's supposed to create. Okay. I teach people a lot about lowering their expectations, which is really just taking control of your self expectations. But for people coming from hustle culture, it feels like lowering your expectations. It feels like agreeing to do B minus work when you could be doing a plus plus work every day. So I teach people how to do that and I try to practice what I preach. My mind wanted to start a podcast and start a program and build [00:58:00] a workshop and take a training. And I think launch my group program, cuz I think we started in the middle. I can't remember, but kirsten-parker_recording-2_2022-06-09–t12-40-57am–61fefa2186a0490062f6dd06–floductivity-1: You're Kirsten Parker: I like Cara: all the things Kirsten Parker: Yeah. And I like manage myself expectations. I like recognize that's what I would have done without thinking, those habits would've made that decision for me. And I was really clear with myself. I know we're on a podcast, but like my to-do list, it's a post-it with three boxes. It says today's top three. You're only allowed to have three. There's no like 17 point checklist here. So I was really clear with myself on expectations and I would set a goal for the day and then I would find out if that was, if that happened or not. Which I think is like a really kind way to go about it. Like I thought I was gonna edit six episodes today and I edit it too. Good to know that's what happened. Cara: Yeah. Editing takes way longer than I think anybody tells you. The course I took, she was like, you should always put aside three times the amount that the [00:59:00] time is. And so I will warn you when you do interviews, it's longer than solos. I'm just saying like, when you do solos, you can stop and redo it and you get more perfection with it. You know what I'm trying to say? So when you do interviews, you don't realize how much longer it takes the, the editing process. So it is taking that expectation and saying, oh yeah, I'm really only gonna be doing this today. It's that learning and knowing and keeping track. I started to keep track of how long it would take me to edit all the different types of episodes so that I can time block better and know, because I used to set such high expectations. And then I was listening to a podcast and she said, expectations are future disappointments. And I was like, yep. Anytime I have a certain expectation. It's like, I put this bar up and it's because I put this bar up for [01:00:00] myself and then I end up getting so disappointed in the end. So I'm trying to lower that and say like, I have this much time. We'll see how much of the episode I get done versus, doing all, all this stuff. I like that you've taken on the process of it because a podcast is a lot of work. I think a lot of people underestimate that, and , especially hearing it for someone as wonderful as Amy. Like, I love that. She's so passionate about people starting a podcast and she admits that a lot of the process she doesn't do. Cuz how long has our podcast been out? It's been out for a really long time. And so she probably forgets what it takes to kind of get the momentum building, but you'll get to a point where you have the template set up and it does become easier. You know, I'm only on episode 20 or something and it does get easier. so just having grace with that and I can't wait to hear it. Kirsten Parker: It's gonna be weekly. So by the time this is out, there'll be a, a binge worthy amount. It's gonna be kirsten-parker_recording-2_2022-06-09–t12-40-57am–61fefa2186a0490062f6dd06–floductivity-1: Awesome. Cara: I'll make sure that's [01:01:00] in the show notes and I would love to know how listeners can connect with you if they need help navigating, overthinking any of your offerings, where they can find you all that juicy stuff. Kirsten Parker: So juicy. Yes. So Kirstenparker.com is the best place. K I R S T E N. it's like yours and condensed. I get Kristen a lot and. Learned how to correct people. cause I used to be such a people pleaser that I was like, I would let bosses and everyone just like, yeah, that's not my name. It's okay. So it's Kirsten parker.com, and that's has all my stuff. So you'll be able to get, the overthinkers checklist, which is as super fun. I called a checklist, but it's a, an actually really meaty, but friendly UN overwhelming workbook to help spot where you are in overthinking. And like it tells you exactly what to do so that you stop being in the middle of that little frustrating behavior. and whatever I'm doing next will be there. So I'm in the middle of a couple of changes [01:02:00] right now, which is exciting. So by the time this comes out, there'll all be available. But I'm more than likely have a workshop coming up or running right now. So just go and you'll get all the information there. Cara: Awesome. Well, I really appreciate you coming on the show and chatting with me. I can't wait to check out your podcast. The decision. And, it was so nice chatting with you. Kirsten Parker: Ah, so good to just hear everything that you're helping people with and everything you're putting out in the world. I just wish I had found you at a time. I was struggling. So I'm I know the world is super grateful to have you. Cara: Awesome. Well, thank you so much. Good luck with everything. And I know we will see each other around we'll chat soon. Thank you so much for joining me this week. If this was your first time. Welcome. And if you've joined me for previous episodes, thank you so much for coming back. Before you go, make sure you share my podcast with a friend or subscribed. If you haven't yet, those few seconds make a big impact on my podcast and I'd be [01:03:00] grateful for the support. This was such an insightful interview with Kirsten. I really love how she helps simplify and help. Overthinkers get clear on how they can take action. She has a few offerings. She has a clarity workshop which helps create your decision. Anchor establishes your vision, defines your goals and identifies your current core values. She also has a personalized momentum boost action plan quiz to get you started. And get that momentum going. You can sign up for her waitlist for the decision masters program. You can head over to Kirstinparker.com. You can head over to the show notes caradempsey.com/22. We'll chat soon.