NOTE: This podcast was transcribed by an AI tool. Please forgive any typos or errors. Kelsey Lettko === [00:00:00] Cara: Hello, and welcome to this episode of floductivity. My next guest Kelsey's goal is to be a one-stop shop for all things, whole fulfilled and joyful living. She's a life coach, a yoga teacher, I Reiki practitioner, and assumed to be hypnotherapist. Who's deeply passionate about guiding others back home to their inner power. [00:00:19] Cara: Kelsey facilitates transformational groups for her global community of clients, leads, retreats, and works with clients one-on-one to break free from learn ways of living small [00:00:29] Cara: in service of their most authentic life. I love this interview with kelsey and i can't wait to dive in see you on the other side [00:00:37] Cara: Welcome to floductivity, a place to inspire and empower beings to embrace self-love and self-development for an achievable balance of productivity. I share different ways to come back to your intuition through spirituality, self care, human design, cycle planning, wellness, and everything in between. [00:00:56] Cara: Thank you so much for joining me this week. If this is your first time. [00:01:00] Welcome. And if you've been here with me before. Thank you so much for coming back. I'm so excited to join you in this journey. As we learn together. [00:01:09] Cara: hi, Kelsey, welcome to the show. [00:01:11] Kelsey: Thanks, Cara. I'm so excited to be here. [00:01:14] Cara: I would love to know what your favorite self-care practices that you do daily, weekly, even monthly. [00:01:21] Finding Freedom in Movement: Using Dance as a Form of Self-Care --- [00:01:21] Kelsey: I love this question and a couple really important things come to mind for me. The first one is dance and movement. I've been a dancer since I was a little kid that. Ritual of going to a dance class, moving my body in a way that just feels so free and so good is still so foundational for me to just be like a functioning human. [00:01:41] Kelsey: So I always prioritize dance classes I recently moved to Santa Cruz and I live pretty close to the beach, so I've been taking my dog on low tide beach walks. The best beach bias is really good at low tide, so I've really been, trying my best to make sure that I can fit those in. [00:01:58] Kelsey: And the last one that's [00:02:00] really, really important to me is my self-talk. I try and be really on top of my self-talk and speaking to myself in a way that feels loving and that feels supportive, and that's been a huge self-care tool for me lately. [00:02:14] Cara: I love that so much. the dancing is something I always forget [00:02:18] Kelsey: Mm-hmm. [00:02:19] Cara: I find I do my best work when I'm in my body. [00:02:23] Cara: I used to think like meditation and like getting up here is the best way to like, connect with, you know, the divine or whatever you wanna call it. And I find I do my best work when I'm like grounded into my body. [00:02:35] Cara: So love that. Who doesn't love the beach? I [00:02:38] Kelsey: Yes. [00:02:38] Cara: nature in general. That also helps me really get grounded. [00:02:42] Cara: I usually wait to jump into. Human design until we get a little later. I wanted to look more in depth about your human design [00:02:50] Kelsey: Yeah. [00:02:50] Cara: also have your heart center open just like I do, and [00:02:54] Cara: it's where our self worth lives. [00:02:57] Kelsey: Interesting. [00:02:58] Cara: knowing that, [00:03:00] sometimes like we're motivated, we're like, we can do this. [00:03:02] Cara: And then other times those doubts and things [00:03:05] Kelsey: Oh yes. [00:03:06] Connect with Your Future Self: A Powerful Tool for Positive Self-Talk and Self-Love --- [00:03:06] Cara: And so I would love to know a little bit more on how you connect yourself with that more positive talk. [00:03:12] Kelsey: Yeah, absolutely. Thanks for asking. This is truly one of my favorite topics right now. I am all about self-talk for me, it really started earlier on in my coaching journey. Learning tools that got me out of kind of like the regular voice, if you will, that I use to talk to myself in my head. [00:03:32] Kelsey: And for me, that voice tends to be quite critical. And for a lot of folks that voice can be pretty critical if it's kind of left to its own devices. And once I started learning, wow, that's, that's just one option of ways to speak to myself. That is not me. That is not how I have to speak to myself. It really sort of blew my mind. [00:03:53] Kelsey: And, for me, there's a couple ways that I connect to ways of speaking to myself. One of my favorite ways is to [00:04:00] connect to a version of my future self. So maybe the version of me a couple decades ahead who just I know is so proud of what I am doing now. And that voice tends to be really, really powerful. [00:04:12] Kelsey: And another one that I use, I have a niece who I just absolutely adore and. The way that I speak to her is just so full of pure, unconditional love, no matter what experience she's having. It's always so validating and it's like, wow, that voice is in me and I use it all the time. What's possible when I use that, when I speak to myself? [00:04:35] Kelsey: So sometimes connecting with, well, how would I speak to a best friend, a being that I love most, the someone that's easy to love and easy to cheerlead. Kind of tapping into that and using that when I'm speaking to myself and, using that inner dialogue in my head has been really, really powerful. [00:04:52] Cara: Yeah, those are beautiful suggestions. I have used a lot of, ways to connect with my future [00:05:00] self, in meditations, in ways that I can connect with my dream and my visions. But looking at it from the lens of what can she tell me to get through this dark [00:05:10] Kelsey: Yeah. [00:05:11] Cara: I will be definitely using that tonight because, like I was saying is there's times that we're, you're like, we can do this. [00:05:18] Cara: We [00:05:18] Kelsey: Yep. [00:05:19] Cara: and then there's just other times where it's like, ah, why does this all feel so hard? [00:05:23] Kelsey: Yes. [00:05:24] Cara: I, [00:05:24] Kelsey: Yes, [00:05:25] Cara: negative self-talk comes in. [00:05:27] Cara: using that. I love to be able to kind of switch that with my future self because she has been, so much in my journey. [00:05:35] Kelsey: Mm-hmm. [00:05:36] Cara: actually have created for her. [00:05:38] Cara: And to be [00:05:39] Kelsey: Ooh. [00:05:40] Cara: I feel like your sister Krista was actually someone that helped me with that because [00:05:44] Kelsey: Oh, beautiful. [00:05:45] Cara: is it Lakshmi that she kind of devotes herself [00:05:49] Kelsey: She loves Lakshmi. Yes. [00:05:51] Cara: I started to see a lot of resonant with ganesha [00:05:55] Cara: because I felt like I've had so many obstacles in my journey to kind [00:06:00] of get through of like, okay, here's an obstacle. [00:06:02] Cara: How do I get through it? And so I've called my future version of myself. I call her ganesha Moon. have [00:06:08] Kelsey: wow. [00:06:09] Cara: for her. So when I [00:06:10] Kelsey: Oh, [00:06:11] Cara: and get in my body, I even have a deck of cards I pull when things get tough. But [00:06:16] Kelsey: that's so beautiful. [00:06:17] Cara: I love that. Like, that's really flipped a switch for me. Between you and your sister, you guys have really helped kind of this [00:06:24] Kelsey: Beautiful. [00:06:25] Cara: myself in a whole nother way. [00:06:26] Kelsey: Ah, that's amazing. [00:06:27] Cara: your niece, that's a beautiful thing. I do have small kids and. I can talk so positively to them, but sometimes too what would the version of me at five or [00:06:40] Kelsey: Yes. [00:06:41] Cara: need to hear? And so having that, kind of take a step back and say, what would you need to get through this time? [00:06:47] Cara: And [00:06:48] Kelsey: Yes, [00:06:48] Cara: those suggestions and kids can really shine a light, maybe where we need healing ourselves. [00:06:55] Kelsey: absolutely. [00:06:56] Cara: that my, like kids have been some of my biggest [00:07:00] teachers in how I can better support myself. [00:07:03] Kelsey: Absolutely. And I love what you said too about speaking to your kids. It's not always super positive, right? It's sometimes it's just, what do you need right now? How can I hold you in this moment so that you feel safe? And I think when it comes to self-talk, some of the messaging more broadly, it tends to kind of dip into a little toxic positivity. [00:07:24] Kelsey: And that's really not what this is as you just demonstrated. It's just speaking to yourself in a way that the foundation is compassionate rather than critical. And that can look like just giving yourself permission to have a bad day or to have a hard moment instead of shaming yourself for it. [00:07:40] Breaking Free from the Pressure of Self-Imposed Timelines: The Importance of Letting Go of 'Shoulds --- [00:07:40] Cara: And we can get like so caught up on what we should be doing [00:07:44] Kelsey: Mm-hmm. [00:07:44] Cara: and like what do we need? [00:07:46] Kelsey: what do we need? [00:07:47] Cara: a step back. And I feel like so many people would be out of this life of being overwhelmed, [00:07:52] Kelsey: Yes. [00:07:53] Cara: the shoulds, especially starting a business, right? [00:07:56] Kelsey: Oh my gosh, yes. [00:07:57] Cara: have your email list and this is how you show up on [00:08:00] content. [00:08:00] Cara: And it's [00:08:00] Kelsey: Yeah. [00:08:01] Cara: it's just taking a step back and saying like, what do I need in this moment for this to feel fulfilling? [00:08:07] Kelsey: Mm-hmm. [00:08:07] Cara: most of us are starting our own businesses so that it feels fulfilling. [00:08:12] Kelsey: Right. [00:08:12] Cara: up as we are supposed to or should, can take away from that. And it doesn't mean an email list is not important, [00:08:20] Kelsey: Absolutely. Yep. [00:08:21] Cara: the time where it's really important us for us to put that energy into it, it's gonna come out and translate better than doing it because we think we should do it right. [00:08:30] Kelsey: Absolutely those shoulds are so important to look for. I was talking to a client yesterday and she was really feeling the pressure of, of just this timeline of like, well, I have these goals, and I said that I would meet them by this time. And we were like, well, if we take a step back, there's no actual timeline here. [00:08:46] Kelsey: Like, we're setting the timeline for our own businesses and then we kind of, it's so easy to put all these shoulds and stress on ourselves when we are the ones creating that timeline. So it's so powerful to, to pay attention to those shoulds, and I almost [00:09:00] use them as like a little, a little flag of, Ooh, there's something that we need to dig into and investigate. [00:09:05] Cara: I've been building my business for the last three years, and honestly the last few months I have been simplifying everything. It was like I was over complicating everything [00:09:17] Kelsey: Yes. [00:09:18] Cara: and it's like, of course, if it's becoming too complicated. Then of course we're gonna get overwhelmed, [00:09:24] Kelsey: right? [00:09:25] Cara: so we're not behind, we're exactly where we're supposed to be. But it's so hard we're in this like comparing ourselves [00:09:32] Kelsey: Yeah. [00:09:33] Cara: around us to [00:09:34] Kelsey: That's a big one. [00:09:35] Cara: it's like, look at them, you know? Look at their podcasts and all their listens and that coach and them being fully booked. And it's like, how can we embody our life more? [00:09:46] Cara: And [00:09:46] Kelsey: Mm-hmm. [00:09:46] Cara: really gonna show in our businesses. [00:09:49] Kelsey: Absolutely. of course there's people who are, you know, doing better more than me. But to think about what the version of me who was still working my full-time job so [00:10:00] miserable, like just living a completely different life. If she could see me now, she would just be mind blown. [00:10:05] Kelsey: So it's, when I get into that space of comparison, which is so easy to do, it's so important. Just be, just to honor what we've done and where we are on our path. And that hard work it took to get there, which I know, I know you've experienced as well. [00:10:18] Cara: When I was a hair stylist, all I truly wanted was to be able to wear comfortable clothes [00:10:23] Kelsey: Oh [00:10:24] Cara: and have the option to wear makeup when I wanted to. Not [00:10:27] Kelsey: Yep. [00:10:28] Cara: every day. And to be able to form my business around what works for my kids and their schedule and like I am doing it, but sometimes it's really hard to be present of like all those things I desired. [00:10:41] Cara: I have 'em right now, but where [00:10:43] Kelsey: Yes. Yes. [00:10:45] Cara: in this moment. And [00:10:47] Kelsey: Right. [00:10:48] Navigating Before and the Aftermath of Achieving Your Goals: How to Find Satisfaction in the Moment with Gratitude --- [00:10:48] Cara: you could maybe help in your process that helps you kind of be like, I'm satisfied in this moment, stop trying to achieve the next thing. [00:10:57] Kelsey: Yeah, this is such a good question. It's honestly something I've [00:11:00] been thinking about a lot recently, When we set out to climb this mountain, whatever mountain it is, whether it's a business venture, Sydney season of life, when we get to the top of that mountain, when we execute on the dream, it tends to come with a bit of like a, almost a letdown of like, wow, I've been working so hard for this and now I'm here. [00:11:19] Kelsey: well now what? And it's an interesting space because on the one hand, yeah, we've worked so hard and we want to enjoy that and enjoy the view from this space for a moment. but on the other hand, I think what I learned and what I've seen a lot of my clients learn too, is like, well, okay, well I executed on that dream and I did it. [00:11:37] Kelsey: It was kind of hard, but it wasn't that hard. Like, now what am I supposed to do with this? So what I've been. Doing in my own practice cuz I'm in this moment. Exactly. I've really executed on where I want it to be. And I'm looking around and it's kind of like, okay, well check that off the list. Like what's the next version of the dream? [00:11:55] Kelsey: I'm almost like V2 of the dream, if you will. And what I've been really trying [00:12:00] to do is, is tap into a lot of gratitude and a lot of reflection first and like, celebrate. All that it took to get here and really internalize all of the lessons that I learned and I fought for to get here, take a breath, enjoy the view for a moment while also knowing it's a yes. [00:12:17] Kelsey: And it's like, yes, I'm here and there's going to be something else, but sometimes we need to give ourselves that space to take a breath, to let that new expansive idea come to us. then we know that we have the power now since we've done it already to execute on the next one. it's like that in between. [00:12:34] Kelsey: Mountaintops is a pretty fascinating space to be. And I'm curious when you've experienced it for yourself, like what is that like for you? [00:12:42] Cara: It's funny because gratitude is so simple and it's so complex at the same time. [00:12:48] Kelsey: Mm-hmm. [00:12:49] Cara: literally my first thing I did on my journey was I created a free gratitude journal with prompts. Did I overcomplicate it a thousand times over? I did. that's just like my [00:13:00] nature, it's just taken me in the last few months to realize I need to simplify [00:13:04] Kelsey: Yep. [00:13:05] Cara: And so that was the point for me because I had a spiritual awakening before covid. [00:13:11] Kelsey: Mm-hmm. [00:13:11] Cara: Like having the opportunity to be home with my kids made me realize this external reality that I truly wanted, was it within reach? [00:13:21] Kelsey: Mm-hmm. [00:13:22] Cara: it took the pause for me to realize that I could have that, [00:13:25] Kelsey: Yes. [00:13:26] Cara: Be redefining success, right? [00:13:29] Cara: I [00:13:29] Kelsey: Right. [00:13:29] Cara: change my mindset on what that was, and gratitude really helped me embody that. And it wasn't until the last, two months that I started bringing consistent gratitude into my practice before I went to bed to really just say, are the simple things that brought me joy today? [00:13:47] Cara: Was it that I got to sleep in a little bit? Was it, you know, that I was able to take my kids to the library? And it's those things that like I so desperately wanted [00:13:56] Kelsey: Yep. [00:13:57] Cara: have when I was a [00:14:00] hairstylist that I have now. [00:14:01] Kelsey: Yep. [00:14:02] Cara: like, There's something missing. [00:14:04] Cara: I can't figure out what it is, but I'm not gonna give up. I'm [00:14:07] Kelsey: Yep. [00:14:07] Cara: in and I know my drive is gonna keep getting me there, the gratitude me in. The feeling that I want to feel [00:14:15] Kelsey: Mm-hmm. [00:14:16] Staying Present: Recognizing and Celebrating Your New Versions of Success --- [00:14:16] Cara: thankful to have this opportunity. Let's stop trying to jump ahead and really sit in the moment, in the present. [00:14:22] Cara: gratitude has brought me back into that dream. And I started my spiritual awakening, I had so much connection up here. [00:14:30] Cara: I truly believe that if we have the visions of the things, like it's because we're meant to do them, I know that I need to be grounded in my body to be [00:14:39] Kelsey: Mm-hmm. [00:14:39] Cara: action in that. So yes, while it's important for me to have that connection of seeing what is possible [00:14:46] Kelsey: Yes. [00:14:47] Cara: have movement, what gets me in my body and that changes, [00:14:51] Cara: sometimes it's nature, sometimes it's breath work, sometimes it's doing yoga we're ever evolving [00:14:56] Kelsey: Absolutely. [00:14:57] Cara: making sure your rituals are [00:15:00] connected to what you need in that moment I used to have a problem like, this is gonna be it. [00:15:04] Cara: So firm and what the next step is. And also being flexible what direction to go in. [00:15:10] Kelsey: Absolutely. You. I wanna come back to one thing that you said that was so important. when you were talking about just appreciating, getting to take your kids to the library and appreciating these things that you were actually getting to do after you were no longer working as a hairstylist and were embodying your new life. [00:15:26] Kelsey: I think sometimes we forget to actively enjoy those moments. It's like, oh, this is actually what success is for me now. And I had a moment recently, I was walking on the beach with my dog and it was like 2:00 PM on a Tuesday, and I took an hour to go to the beach and I was stressing at the beach. [00:15:44] Kelsey: I realized, I was like, wait a minute, this is what we've been working for. Like this is it right now to be able to be here enjoying the beautiful beach with my dog at 2:00 PM on a Tuesday. And it was just that reminder of, how can we em deeply embody. The little [00:16:00] successes along the way and like really enjoy and find gratitude for these moments that we've worked really hard to be able to create for ourselves. [00:16:07] Kelsey: Love that idea that you brought up. It's just like staying present enough to realize when we are currently experiencing our new versions of success. I just think it's, it's so powerful, as you were saying when it comes to rituals, to be flexible with those and allow them to evolve cuz we're ever-evolving humans and our needs change or depending on the season, all of the things. [00:16:29] Kelsey: allowing ourselves to have that flexibility and listening to our intuition on that of, of, okay, what feels good in this season [00:16:35] Cara: am someone that definitely has like a love-hate relationship with planning, [00:16:41] Kelsey: Mm-hmm. [00:16:42] Cara: and so that's where I get ahead of myself. [00:16:45] Cara: I'm not perfect at it. We're not meant to be perfect at things, but I've found that if I can plan enough so that when I'm in the moment, I can be present in the moment, [00:16:54] Cara: but again, leaving that flexibility, whereas before I would And [00:17:00] then in that moment and I'd be planning the next thing. [00:17:03] Kelsey: Mm-hmm. [00:17:04] Cara: I was never fully present with what I was doing. My husband would get so mad cuz we'd be on vacation and I'd be like, next vacation, let's talk about it. And so [00:17:13] Kelsey: Right. [00:17:13] Cara: is Taurus, he's very [00:17:15] Kelsey: Uhhuh. [00:17:16] Cara: and so he brings me back down to Earth my 10th house in astrology is also in taurus tourists. [00:17:23] Kelsey: Okay. [00:17:25] Cara: that I really embody my career of getting grounded. And I think having, not one, but two people in my household who are Taurus [00:17:32] Kelsey: Yes. [00:17:33] Cara: Help bring me down in the present moment to really be able to enjoy it. [00:17:38] Designing Your Own Schedule: Embracing Ownership of Your Time --- [00:17:38] Cara: going from a career that like literally every minute of my day was planned to having the flexibility somewhat, you know, I have calls having the flexibility to really be able to plan around my life, it's like night and day. And that was probably the biggest desire I wanted in my career, [00:17:58] Kelsey: Yes. [00:17:59] Cara: but it's [00:18:00] hard. [00:18:00] Kelsey: It is hard. [00:18:01] Cara: 19 years [00:18:03] Kelsey: Wow. [00:18:03] Cara: myself of [00:18:04] Kelsey: Yeah. [00:18:05] Cara: that time thing. But [00:18:06] Cara: first of all, as a fellow Taurus, I have to celebrate the other taurs in your life. we're quite the breed. but yeah, I think what you were saying about just the, the time and you getting to be in control of your own schedule, I think for a lot of us who leave a life that is either in corporate or in a world that's just super, super, super planned out for us to then be the designers of our time and, and almost the owners of our time, it could be like, I find myself almost, forcing myself sometimes to stay in that like, well, I gotta work eight to 10 hours because that's what a full day looks like. [00:18:39] Kelsey: And then when I remember, Like, wow, I, I made these choices so that I can make my schedule however I want. I can listen to what feels intuitively right and what feels creatively right. It's like I'm the one who's upholding these standards that don't even resonate with me anymore, which is so fascinating to call myself out in those moments. [00:18:57] Kelsey: but helpful to be aware. [00:18:59] Cara: For [00:19:00] sure. I've actually found that, there's been two situations recently that I had more like podcast ideas and brainstorming done I was paddle boarding by myself. [00:19:16] Kelsey: Yes. [00:19:16] Cara: And I was at a retreat [00:19:18] Kelsey: Yep. [00:19:19] Cara: one of them was truly an outer body experience. I felt like I was trying to figure out my solo topics of. [00:19:27] Cara: You know what would connect with listeners, and no joke. I felt like I connected to two or three different souls in the room and they told me what [00:19:36] Kelsey: Wow. [00:19:36] Cara: and it was just like [00:19:38] Kelsey: Oh, how cool. [00:19:39] Redefining Productivity: How Taking Breaks and Letting Go Can Bring More Magic into Your Work --- [00:19:39] Cara: need to like redefine what productivity is. And it's [00:19:43] Kelsey: Yes, [00:19:44] Cara: me someone that feels like sitting at a computer and doing this work is the way to be productive. [00:19:49] Cara: And that I got so much more of where I should be putting my efforts done on two things that had nothing to do with me. I was logged off, like I was [00:19:59] Kelsey: yes, [00:19:59] Cara: [00:20:00] logged off for those moments. And they came [00:20:01] Kelsey: yes. [00:20:02] Cara: it felt easy and it felt like I attracted these things. And it's like sometimes when we are doing all the things that we should be doing, we're blocking ourselves from truly the magic that we can make. [00:20:14] Kelsey: Mm-hmm. It's like keeping ourselves so busy that we don't leave any space for source to drop in ideas or creativity to come to us. Like my best creativity is always in the shower. Always. If I'm stuck on something, I don't know what's write for a newsletter, I sit down and I'm forcing it out. It's just like, this is not happening. [00:20:32] Kelsey: So I take a shower and I always have the idea by the time I get out. So it's really true. It's, it's really redefining what productivity looks and feels like. [00:20:44] Cara: Yeah. I'm like a recovering hustler, [00:20:48] Kelsey: Mm-hmm. [00:20:49] Cara: it's like using things like my cycle to understand that there's a certain time for things and when we stop trying to do all the things all the time, really get in this flow [00:21:00] of how our time should be really utilized in a way that works for us and our bodies For sure. [00:21:06] Kelsey: Yeah. That is one thing that I would love to learn more about is kind of mapping my month with my cycle. , I know so many people who do it, and it's feels so intuitively just powerful to be able to be a little bit more in sync like that. But yeah, that's one thing that is on my list of things I'd like to learn more about. [00:21:24] Cara: I've seen a lot of people kind of have this awakening too, like that makes sense and it's like my goal is to have these conversations like I am 40, I wish I would've known this in my twenties, [00:21:36] Kelsey: Mm-hmm. [00:21:37] Cara: in your twenties, you're kind of have high energy, like you don't understand the impact. so many women in their. [00:21:43] Cara: Mid thirties start to have these issues along with their cycle. And I truly believe it's because they're trying to do all the things all the time, and [00:21:53] Kelsey: Hmm. [00:21:53] Cara: being spread so thin that they're not really being effective in what they're doing. [00:21:59] Cara: I [00:22:00] always just say like start to just be aware where you're at in your cycle [00:22:05] Kelsey: Mm-hmm. [00:22:05] Cara: and building this relationship of being like, oh, I'm on day number seven and I really wanna plan out my content. [00:22:13] Cara: I wanna [00:22:13] Kelsey: Mm-hmm. [00:22:14] Cara: my newsletter. I actually have a free resource on, my website. It's at caradempsey.com/cycle and so it's just helping understand the different intentions that each phase have. And so just to break it down a little bit is that first phase is follicular, and it's right after your period ends. [00:22:35] Cara: And that's a great time for planning, [00:22:38] Kelsey: Mm-hmm. [00:22:38] Cara: Okay, what do I need to have for this next month? How can I meal plan for the next month? How can I plan my content? Your energy is not high enough to start doing all the things yet. And so that was my downside, was my period ended. I'm gonna do all the things and then I [00:22:55] Kelsey: Yeah. [00:22:55] Cara: more tired. [00:22:56] Cara: My, my body wasn't ready to jump into that. [00:23:00] then once you're in that ovulatory phase, which unfortunately is only. Three to four days, when you know, your energy's starting to build up at that point, and so that's really the time to reach out. Your vulnerability isn't so, affected at that time. [00:23:15] Kelsey: Interesting. [00:23:16] Cara: to get nos at that time. [00:23:18] Kelsey: Oh, [00:23:19] Kelsey: that's fascinating. [00:23:20] Cara: yeah, like your confidence is higher. And so that is the time to maybe plan to be more present on social media, have the interviews and I don't like. Live and die by this. I [00:23:32] Kelsey: Sure. [00:23:33] Cara: I'm at and I just make sure that I protect myself in the times that need to be protected. [00:23:37] Kelsey: Right. [00:23:37] Cara: that's the other piece is some people are like, oh, that seems all like a lot. [00:23:41] Cara: And it's like you don't have to use it every day, but if you're really aware where you're most affected, it can really change your life. It changed [00:23:47] Kelsey: Wow. [00:23:48] Cara: I mean, [00:23:48] Kelsey: Wow. [00:23:49] Cara: it really helped me get in my feminine [00:23:51] Kelsey: Mm-hmm. [00:23:52] Cara: because I was so stuck in my masculine of doing, doing, doing. I didn't know how to just be. [00:23:58] Cara: it really helped bring my [00:24:00] intentions to be purposeful. [00:24:02] Kelsey: Mm-hmm. [00:24:02] Cara: And so after that is then the luteal phase. the lluteal phase is broken into two sections. The first section has more of that high vibe. Like you still have that energy, you still can do all the things, but it's really important to start to listen. For that second half of the lluteal when your emotional vulnerability is really high. [00:24:23] Kelsey: Mm-hmm. [00:24:24] Cara: I limit my social media. That's when I don't put myself out there as much, make sure I don't make all these plans because my energy starts to drop dramatically before my period, not when my period comes. [00:24:37] Cara: It's like that week before. [00:24:39] Kelsey: Yes. [00:24:39] Cara: I am an emotional wreck. [00:24:42] Kelsey: Yep. [00:24:42] Cara: am. So many women are like, I'm crazy. And I'm like, you're not. It's just your hormones are going a little wacky. And if you understand that, you can protect yourself a little bit. [00:24:52] Kelsey: Yes. [00:24:53] Cara: that's when you should like refine the details, look over your content, see what's working, see what doesn't. [00:24:59] Cara: This isn't [00:25:00] working. We're gonna let this go. It's a great time to organize and just let go of the things that aren't propelling you forward. And then the most important part of your cycle is that menstruation, that winter phase. And that's the resting, that's the reflection. How did this cycle make me feel? [00:25:16] Cara: Where did I put my energy? And that felt good to me? What took away my energy? And how can I utilize that moving forward? [00:25:24] Kelsey: Mm-hmm. [00:25:25] Cara: just kind of how it all pieces together. So if you have a project and you ultimately wanna align it with your cycle, amazing because you'll see the momentum that there is. [00:25:34] Kelsey: Wow. [00:25:35] Cara: Steps in every project, and if you align it, and [00:25:38] Kelsey: Yeah. [00:25:38] Cara: can also use the moon if you don't feel like the menstrual cycle is resonate with you. [00:25:43] Kelsey: Yep. [00:25:44] Cara: been a powerful thing for myself and I, so many of the women that I've coached and I've incorporated in my life the last few years are like, yeah, I got a cycle. [00:25:52] Cara: And then I give them this insight and they're like, holy shit. I'm like, I know. Why don't we [00:25:58] Kelsey: Wow. Yeah. [00:26:00] Oh, that is, so that's really fascinating to hear. I'm actually aligned with the moon, so that resonates with me. I love that. I wanna experiment with this idea. I'm like, what can, which project can I pick and really lean into this? Because it, it does feel so powerful. [00:26:13] Kelsey: And just to learn more about, just that like extra layer of really deeply listening to yourself and to your body just feels really, really important these days. So thank you for sharing more about that. I'm excited to use your free resource. [00:26:27] Cara: Yeah, I feel like it's when you truly co-create with Universe, my own personal, relationship with it is I would always the projects I was doing. Like [00:26:38] Kelsey: Mm-hmm. [00:26:38] Cara: a point of depletion. but knowing that it's time to move on to the next thing. [00:26:43] Cara: it's, how I've elevated my intuition. It's [00:26:46] Kelsey: Yeah. [00:26:46] Cara: my body's telling me this. And so it's becoming more aware of, this gave me energy, this took my energy away actually just created a, an ebook. It is a paid offering. [00:26:57] Cara: it breaks down each phase and [00:27:00] the intentions, the affirmations, the things that you should tell yourself when [00:27:04] Kelsey: Beautiful. [00:27:05] Cara: you need that support, the nutrition, the workouts, all the different things for you to maybe understand. [00:27:11] Cara: And it's not a rule book. It's [00:27:13] Kelsey: Right? [00:27:14] Cara: for you to look at and say, oh yeah, this would feel really supportive. Sometimes if we align our self-care with [00:27:22] Kelsey: Mm-hmm. [00:27:23] Cara: it's really supportive too. And so having a place to be able to keep the things that you're like, oh, in my summer ovulation, I love going to a workout class, so I'm gonna make sure I do that. [00:27:36] Kelsey: Yep. [00:27:37] Cara: Just being aware of those different things that can support you throughout. it's that pre-planning so that when I'm in that moment I can say, oh yeah, this can support me. [00:27:46] Kelsey: That's so powerful. I'm so curious to learn more about this. You've planted some good seeds for me. Thank you. [00:27:52] are you ready to make a real change in your life? Here are just a few benefits on working with me as a certified holistic [00:28:00] coach. Together, we gain insight into your authentic self. We explore your design with modalities like human design cycle, vitality and astrology. And you'll gain a deeper understanding of your unique strengths, challenges and your purpose in life. [00:28:16] Together. We work on improving relationships, understanding your own design helps you communicate more effectively with other people. Build stronger relationships and have more fulfilling connections around you. [00:28:29] We increase your productivity by aligning your work with your natural rhythms and your strengths. You'll be able to work smarter and not harder. Achieve your goals and live with a greater ease in your life. [00:28:43] We work together on reducing stress and overwhelm. By working with me, you'll learn how to manage your energy. Reduce stress and cultivate more balance in your life. [00:28:53] We work on a more authentic life. [00:28:56] When you're aligned with your unique design, you'll feel more confident, [00:29:00] empowered, and fulfilled in every area of your life [00:29:03] Those are the benefits with working with me [00:29:05] it's a certified, intuitive life coach. My focus is not telling people about their human design cycle vitality or even astrology. Instead, my role is to help you discover and align with your desires and take aligned action based on how you operate. It is time for you to look within at how powerful you are and welcome your intuitive intelligence. [00:29:27] If you want to work with me, head to Caradempsey.com/offerings [00:29:31] [00:29:32] Speak Up: How to Overcome People-Pleasing Habits and Find Your Voice and Confidence --- [00:29:32] Cara: You're welcome. I would love could tell listeners how to start speaking up when you're used to being a people pleaser. [00:29:39] Kelsey: Yes. What a great question. I love this question. Love this topic. Yeah. So first of all, for my fellow people pleasers in the house, I see you. I am one of you. We've got this. I think that where I'll start this conversation is for a long time I didn't realize that there was another way to be, like, I just [00:30:00] kind of thought that, oh, I'm just shy and I'm really good at reading the room and I'm really tapped into what the situation needs, and I can just fill it. [00:30:09] Kelsey: And that's great. That's just who I am. And it wasn't until I started, you know, d deeper into my twenties, really doing a lot of self-work and therapy and coaching to realize, wow, this is not. Who I am. This is a behavior that I've adopted because at one point in my life, before I had tools, it kept me safe and it helped me get my needs met. [00:30:31] Kelsey: So I think first understanding that is really helpful of just reminding yourself, okay, like, yes, this is a really, I'm really good at showing up in this way, and is this ultimately who I wanna be in the world? Is this leading me to who I wanna be and where I wanna go? For me, the answer was a strong no. So I think just first giving yourself that space to check in and tapping into that motivation like, well, why do I feel ready to start really speaking up? [00:30:59] Kelsey: [00:31:00] Why am I feeling ready to share my I idea, my ideas in this meeting? Or he'll let my voice be heard and maybe, you know, annoy some people, piss some people off, because that tends to be quite scary for people pleasers. But to learn that, wow, I can say this thing, I can set this boundary and it's gonna be okay. [00:31:17] Kelsey: Step one, check in with yourself. Show yourself a lot of love, and just get clear on, on like, well, why now? Why is this the time? Because when we can tap into that why, then it becomes a lot easier to feel brave in those moments. after that, I think like I work with a lot of folks who wanna start speaking up a lot more in meetings or wanna start sharing their needs and their relationships within their family dynamics. [00:31:43] Kelsey: I tend to use self-talk as a way to. Tap into an in the moment tool to help you build some confidence. And I use this example to illustrate just the power of self-talk and what it can do. So for example, if you're going into a meeting [00:32:00] and you know that this is a meeting that is a little intimidating sometimes, there's a lot of people in it. [00:32:06] Kelsey: You don't love to be the center of attention. If you have a story in your head that everyone else's ideas are better than yours and you're telling yourself that you're gonna sound like an idiot if you speak up, what's gonna happen when you walk into that meeting? You're gonna walk in. Your body language is probably gonna be pretty small. [00:32:23] Kelsey: You're not gonna speak up. Someone else is gonna say, your idea, it's gonna be well received. Right? And you're sitting there like, oh my gosh, this like, everything just passed me by because you were telling yourself. That you're gonna sound like an idiot. Shake that off, let that go. And what if instead, the story was, my voice matters. [00:32:40] Kelsey: I'm at this table for a reason. Like I believe I can speak up. You walk into that meeting, even just saying that my body language shifted, my chest is forward. I'm more present. Even just by like pumping yourself up, you're more likely to speak up in that moment. Your ideas get heard. You build trust. Like who knows the [00:33:00] impact that could have on your overall career. [00:33:01] Kelsey: So really starting with your self-talk and reminding yourself. Your voice matters. You are here for a reason. Your needs matter and your relationships. Sometimes I just have to say to myself over and over again, your needs matter. It's okay to have an opinion. And when that's my internal dialogue, then I'm more likely to share my needs and to share my opinions. [00:33:23] Kelsey: And I think it really starts there is tapping into, okay, well why now? Why am I really ready to let go? Some of these people pleasing behaviors? And how can you really talk to yourself in a way that makes you want to speak up and makes you feel more confident, just like you guided your daughter through to speak up on stage. [00:33:41] Kelsey: I mean, it's exactly the same. Like what do you need in this moment to feel confident speaking up? and just the last thing is the sacred breath. I think as people pleasers, it's really easy to say the thing and then it's like, well, I actually meant this. And you know, just like over it, just like really overdoing it. [00:33:58] Kelsey: It's like, whoa. So I [00:34:00] say, say it and then take the breath. Don't overexplain it, let it land. I just, woo, that's it. So the why, the self-talk, the sacred breath, and I think that's a great starting place. [00:34:12] Cara: Yeah, that's so important. I mean, I did at one point have on my computer pause and like that pause is so helpful because sometimes, especially as a coach, you, [00:34:22] Kelsey: Yes. [00:34:23] Cara: pause because you really want your client to be able to speak on their perspective and not input your own. [00:34:30] Cara: mean, I resonate with that so much of just getting myself in that confidence. kind of goes to what I was saying before, for me to step into that confidence, I had to create a ritual to do that, to [00:34:41] Kelsey: Yes. [00:34:42] Cara: up, to say, what are some songs that bring me into that? [00:34:45] Cara: Like, here I am, [00:34:47] Kelsey: Yes. [00:34:48] Cara: this is what you get. And so what is it that's gonna help you bring that vibration? Have you step into that person? I gave her a name, I gave her a playlist. [00:34:58] Kelsey: Yep. [00:34:58] Cara: a prayer for her. [00:34:59] Kelsey: I [00:35:00] love that. [00:35:00] Cara: that's huge and I love that. And Really helpful. [00:35:03] [00:35:03] Staying in Your Power with an Open Emotional Center: Navigating Energetic Cords and Authenticity in Social Settings --- [00:35:03] Cara: I think you said when you walk into the room, you're assessing the needs or whatever of everybody else. [00:35:09] Cara: And I feel that so much. And I was like, I bet you her emotional center is open and it is. And I think that's it. Is there's like that overwhelming sense of we can feel the needs and the emotions of everybody else in the room. And it's [00:35:25] Kelsey: Right, [00:35:25] Cara: hard for us to be like, this is me. [00:35:28] Kelsey: right, [00:35:28] Cara: let them affect me. [00:35:30] Kelsey: right. [00:35:30] Cara: so with anyone with their emotional center open, like it takes practice of having that protection before walking into the room saying, that's not mine, [00:35:40] Kelsey: yes. [00:35:41] Cara: can I stand in my truth [00:35:44] Kelsey: Yeah. [00:35:45] Cara: what other people are going through? And I think. Not everybody with an emotional center has this moment of absorbing it and [00:35:52] Kelsey: Mm-hmm. [00:35:53] Cara: Sometimes people will kind of reflect it back in anger, you know what I mean? So [00:36:00] everybody processes that differently. But I think so many times it's like we hold onto it [00:36:06] Kelsey: Mm-hmm. [00:36:07] Cara: help us because there's that energetic cord. Right? [00:36:10] Kelsey: Right? [00:36:12] Cara: that was another thing I think in witchy business that your sister brought up was like, I love you guys, but as soon as I get off this call, I'm cutting that. [00:36:20] Kelsey: Yes. [00:36:21] Cara: detaching that and [00:36:22] Kelsey: Yep. [00:36:23] Cara: that we have the power to break that energetic cord so that it is not siphoning our energy and [00:36:31] Kelsey: Right? [00:36:31] Cara: stand in ourselves and knowing that, you're seen and heard when you absorb that stuff, but we have the power to not let that affect us. [00:36:39] Cara: And so I [00:36:40] Kelsey: Yes. [00:36:41] Cara: and tools that you recommended will be really helpful in those to stand in your power. That's [00:36:47] Kelsey: Mm-hmm. [00:36:47] Cara: what it is. How can you be the best version of your self [00:36:50] Kelsey: Yep. [00:36:50] Cara: in that power? so that's beautiful. Thank you for sharing that. [00:36:53] Kelsey: Absolutely. Yeah. And just to build on what you said a little bit, so it deep into my twenties when this road for [00:37:00] me really started that I realized that I can walk into a room and I can see what the room needs, but that doesn't mean that I need to show up in that way if that feels inauthentic to me. [00:37:10] Kelsey: So it's kind of like this. Yes. And it's again like, yes. I feel that if I were to show up in this way, everyone else would be happy right now. And am I self abandoning? , would that be showing up in a way that I'm allowing my own boundaries to be crossed? So it's like, yeah, we can feel this. And you still get to choose to protect yourself and to show up in the way that feels authentic to you. [00:37:33] Kelsey: And that's where that sacred run comes in is like, okay, I feel what's happening and this is still what's true to me in this moment. So it's really, to your point, coming back to being able to stay in our power no matter what's going on around us energetically, verbally, whatever. yeah, it's being able to stay in our power and really choose. [00:37:53] Cara: I've seen, I wanna say I heard it on a podcast episode a while back, but it's like being that conscious [00:38:00] empath versus [00:38:01] Kelsey: Mm-hmm. [00:38:02] Cara: empath. [00:38:03] Kelsey: Right. [00:38:04] Cara: were so many people that are like, I'm an empath. I'm so, I'm so affected by other people. And it's like, that's the awareness. You are at least aware that you are that. [00:38:14] Cara: But let's be conscious about it and how can we really still stand in our power and not let us affect that? let's not be unconscious about it, but it takes practice, you [00:38:22] Kelsey: It does. It [00:38:23] Kelsey: does. [00:38:24] Cara: ourselves, right? [00:38:25] Kelsey: Absolutely. Absolutely. And all of the tools that you offer in your toolkit and all of these things help us just kind of better understand ourselves and put language to things, which is so helpful. [00:38:35] Cara: Yeah. Just getting aligned with what feels good to you. That's really, I think, the key to life. Like you are a person. What is going to align with you in that moment? It can change, you know, [00:38:47] Kelsey: Yeah. [00:38:48] Cara: it's this, one day, it's that, and it's allowing that flexibility to kind of be like, okay, you know, I'm changing [00:38:55] Kelsey: Mm-hmm. [00:38:56] Cara: what do we need? [00:38:57] How to Get Unstuck: Tips for Creating Momentum in Your Life --- [00:38:57] Cara: if someone was feeling stuck [00:39:00] in what they're doing, like what are some things we can do to get momentum [00:39:03] Kelsey: First thing that I do for myself and for my clients is honestly be stuck for a minute. It's like be stuck. Like what is it like to be stuck? I. What does it feel like to be stuck? Are there any gifts of being stuck in this moment? Are there any lessons here that feel really important and just kind of, I think sometimes taking the pressure off and making stuck, not necessarily a bad thing, can be already like creates a little bit of wiggle room and some space to breathe. [00:39:34] Kelsey: that's one thing. It's just, okay, I'm stuck. Great. What else is new? You know, just allowing that to be for a moment, but then even asking yourself some questions of, well, if I wasn't stuck right now, what would I do? And if I wasn't feeling, you know, like I'm really in the weeds. If I can zoom out to a place where I'm, I'm not stuck, I see the whole picture, then what is suddenly within my awareness that [00:40:00] wasn't when I was in a stuck perspective. [00:40:02] Kelsey: So there's so much power in, in just our, our perspectives and, and kind of the mindset that we're looking through. So just allowing yourself to be where you are one, and then when you really are ready, cuz sometimes I don't know about you, but I just need to be stuck for a minute. I just need to have that experience. [00:40:18] Kelsey: And then once that's done it's like, okay, enough of that, I'm really ready to create some action. Then what's one thing you can do that you. That makes you feel unstuck? What's one thing you can do to create some movement in your life? A big thing that I love is just to break in the routine. Like if you're someone who does the same thing every, you know, in certain evenings or you're really scheduled, break the routine, do something different. [00:40:44] Kelsey: Go to a restaurant in Your're Town you've never been to, like, just shake it up a little bit and hold space for the kind of the, the wiggle room that can come in from that, from just simply shaking up your routine. So shaking up your, how you're speaking to yourself about it, shaking [00:41:00] up your actual routine, and allowing yourself just to be where you're at. [00:41:03] Kelsey: Is is usually where I start the stuck conversation. [00:41:06] Cara: Yeah. wow. Because in general I don't allow myself to be stuck. [00:41:11] Kelsey: Yeah. [00:41:12] Cara: things for me to do and then they end up drain, draining my energy. So one like, thank you for that. Permission to [00:41:19] Kelsey: Yeah. [00:41:20] Cara: And then it makes sense because there's been so many times where I've been stuck and then I'm like, I'm gonna go paddle boarding. [00:41:26] Cara: But of course I added guilt to it. Like, I [00:41:28] Kelsey: Right. [00:41:29] Cara: doing work, I should be editing my podcast, I should be writing emails. [00:41:33] Kelsey: Yes. [00:41:34] Cara: I allowed myself to do something different and it was mind blowing. That's very, very insightful. And allowing myself to be in my emotions and what I'm experiencing has been something that I've been practicing and trying to do. [00:41:47] Cara: And that's a piece of it. And [00:41:49] Kelsey: Mm-hmm. [00:41:49] Cara: funny that like I've been very aware of the emotions and what I'm going through, but the stuckness, I'm like, Nope, not allowed to be [00:41:56] Kelsey: Not allowed to be stuck. [00:41:58] Cara: ex hustler that's just like, you [00:42:00] always gotta be doing something. [00:42:01] Kelsey: Yes. [00:42:02] Cara: more recently, I. have allowed myself to just be like, well, I'm not getting the creative inspiration. [00:42:09] Cara: There's a reason for that. And [00:42:11] Kelsey: Yes, [00:42:11] Cara: it is time to rest. It is time to kind of come back to myself, get reconnected with myself, and when the time is ready for me to do, I have to trust that the universe is going to show me where that's at. And so [00:42:25] Kelsey: yes. [00:42:26] Cara: that makes, a lot of sense. [00:42:27] Kelsey: Yes. Yes. And it's also like we don't have to do it alone too. Like when I'm stuck and I'm ready to be unstuck. that's the power of community. Like I call my friends I call who are in kind of the business world too. I'll talk to my sister. You know, it's like those people that can expand me in that way that I really need. [00:42:47] Kelsey: And yeah, I think when I started out my journey, it was just like, I have to do this by myself. You know, it's this like, I don't know where, where I got that little chip on my shoulder, but now it's like, okay, I'm like, I run a business circle called The Circle and it's all for [00:43:00] preneurs and small business owners. [00:43:00] Kelsey: It's so much fun. And , once a month or so, we'll have a dest stucking exercise where everyone brings something they're stuck on and we all dest stuck each other and it's like, we don't have to do this alone. Which is also really powerful to remember sometimes. [00:43:14] Cara: Yeah, I think that's beautiful that you mentioned community because I had gone a lot this whole concept on my own and I had communities and things that I would rely on, but I was still chugging away on my own. And I found so much power in having like the accountability groups that I [00:43:33] Kelsey: Yes. [00:43:33] Cara: just leaning on people that are going through the same thing and like we aren't meant to do it alone. [00:43:39] Kelsey: I love it when it's just a really intentional community where everyone's coming with open hearts, open minds, and for any community that I host, I I verbalize it as an agreement that you are showing up and seeing everybody on the screen, including yourself through the lens of love and appreciation and just celebration. [00:43:59] Kelsey: [00:44:00] And sometimes even just saying that is enough to be like, oh yeah, everyone's so beautiful. This is great. There's no comparison. Everyone's bringing their uniqueness. So just little things like that can help a lot too. [00:44:08] Cara: Yeah. And I feel that where I've met you is that it is like a collaborative space I think it's beautiful when we can kind of have that, I, I came from like a very competitive world, [00:44:19] Kelsey: Yes. [00:44:20] Cara: to a place of being like, oh, let's help each other. [00:44:23] Cara: Like, this is [00:44:23] Kelsey: Right, [00:44:24] Cara: Like, I'm not trying to get one up on you, but how [00:44:26] Kelsey: right. [00:44:26] Cara: we [00:44:27] Kelsey: Yes, [00:44:27] Cara: each other up in the same aspect? So I love that. [00:44:30] Cara: I would love to touch a little bit on your human design. [00:44:33] Kelsey: Sure. I'm [00:44:34] Kelsey: excited. [00:44:35] Unlocking the Power of Human Design for Projectors: How to Wait for Invitations and Find Success --- [00:44:35] Cara: thing I notice with people that have this spiritual awareness, they are already living a lot of their human design. [00:44:42] Cara: And so I can feel that in a lot of the conversation. And so you are a projector [00:44:48] Kelsey: Okay. [00:44:49] Cara: you are meant to be waiting in the wings, waiting to be invited. And you do yearn to be included and recognized for your accomplishments. You're born to use your gifts from a [00:45:00] position of appreciation. [00:45:01] Cara: And I'm sure that's been a hard lesson to come to because [00:45:05] Kelsey: Yes. [00:45:05] Cara: like I attract, I talk to a lot of projectors when they're living in their not self themed, that bitterness, that envy comparison, it's really hard, but it feels really beautiful when you're like, this is me, this is what I'm doing. [00:45:18] Cara: Come to me when you're ready. [00:45:20] Kelsey: Yes. [00:45:20] Cara: feel like you've kind of embodied that in your journey? [00:45:24] Kelsey: I first heard of Human design years ago and when, when she told me, the woman who was talking to me about it, she was like, yeah, you have to wait to be invited. I remember I just felt this like, well, what are you talking about? I have to be invi. No, like, I wanna, I wanna do, call the shots, you know? [00:45:41] Kelsey: But when I think about, when I feel most at ease, yeah, it is. When someone brings me along and whether it be an energetic invitation, whatever it is, I think when I recognized how that manifests for me it was like, okay, I guess I can get on board with this and use that to, [00:46:00] to, in a way that feels supportive. [00:46:01] Kelsey: But, yeah, I think when I think about like my quote unquote sales process, which that's definitely an area of improvement. But it's what you said, it's, this is what it's about. This is what we could do together. You come to me, you invite me into, into your world when you feel like that is an intuitive yes for you. [00:46:16] Kelsey: so I've kind accepted that and I've tried to lean into that from what very little I know about human design, but that was the one part I was like, shoot, really? I have to invited? [00:46:25] Kelsey: Yeah. [00:46:26] Cara: human design can be [00:46:27] Kelsey: Yeah. [00:46:28] Cara: for a lot of people, but it also can be like, oh, that's why it was so hard for me. Oh, [00:46:32] Kelsey: Yes. [00:46:33] Cara: I wasn't showing up as my true self. the two aspects that I love to talk about human design, that I really feel like help people get aligned with their design is their inner authority. [00:46:44] Kelsey: Mm [00:46:45] Cara: that is how you should make decisions. for you itself, it's talking out your decisions, not to get others input, to see how it makes you feel. [00:46:55] Kelsey: mm. [00:46:55] Cara: like having that community, having those conversations to be like, this is what I'm doing, [00:47:00] this is what I wanna do. those people respect that, that you don't want their input, you just want [00:47:04] Kelsey: Yes, [00:47:05] Cara: about it [00:47:06] Cara: I know you had mentioned also like therapists, like having a therapist is really supportive for everyone, [00:47:12] Kelsey: yes. Everyone. [00:47:14] Cara: just to be able to have that place, you [00:47:16] Kelsey: Yeah. [00:47:16] Cara: it's like friends wanna give their input, you know, family wants to give their input. [00:47:20] Cara: and so at least communicating like, Hey, I need to talk to you about something, can you leave space for me to just process It is [00:47:27] Kelsey: Yes. [00:47:27] Cara: for you to be able to make those decisions that feel good to you. [00:47:30] Cara: It's not gonna make making decisions easier, [00:47:34] Kelsey: Right. [00:47:35] Cara: help you stand like, this is the right decision for me because I talked it out. It feels good in my body. [00:47:40] Kelsey: I love that. I love that. And you're so right. One of the, like the most beautiful things. Some of my really close friends who know me very well will say to me, they're like, well, do you want advice or do you wanna just talk in this conversation? that's when I feel so seen is they know me well enough to ask that question. [00:47:57] Kelsey: It's just, ah, it's so beautiful to have people in [00:48:00] our world who really see us like that. [00:48:01] Cara: Yeah, that's awesome that you have people like that. Sometimes it takes having the conversation, just shows that like you're, you surround yourself with self-aware [00:48:10] Kelsey: Mm-hmm. [00:48:10] Cara: beautiful to have that support. [00:48:12] Kelsey: Yes. [00:48:13] Cara: so the next piece is the strategy, and that's how you take action, which for a projector isn't so much action taking, but your strategy is to wait for the invitation to find success and avoid bitterness. [00:48:27] Cara: so what I say is, when there is an invitation and the recognition comes, it's the right timing. [00:48:34] Cara: while you're waiting for these things. Rest to rejuvenate your spirit research so you can master your skills play to wake up your soul like dancing, like you [00:48:44] Kelsey: mm-hmm. [00:48:44] Cara: and then you'll become a magnet for the things you want. [00:48:47] Cara: I try to use this to empower you , versus [00:48:50] Kelsey: Yep. [00:48:50] Cara: like, well, you gotta wait for the invitation that feels so limiting, right? [00:48:54] Kelsey: Right. [00:48:54] Cara: are all the beautiful things you can do to kind of feed your soul while you're waiting for these beautiful [00:49:00] invitations. [00:49:00] Kelsey: yes. And as you're saying that the word invitation, what was coming up for me is like, even a new client booking a discovery call in my calendar, to me feels like an invitation. And it's, it's funny now that you're saying this, like my business is literally set up to be invited to people's worlds. [00:49:15] Kelsey: And then that's how we start our, our, relationship, which is really beautiful. So, yeah. That's cool to look at it through that lens. [00:49:21] Cara: And then the last thing, it's just something that I've been like diving into cuz it really felt resonant to me was your profile and your incarnation cross. And I'm not gonna go into the details of your specific incarnation co cross, but you do have the right angle cross of the spinx, the right angle. [00:49:40] Cara: You have a personal destiny. So [00:49:42] Kelsey: Hmm. [00:49:43] Cara: in this lifetime is to figure out all about yourself, [00:49:46] Kelsey: Hmm. [00:49:48] Cara: and that you don't need to interact with certain people to live out your destiny. course that's fulfilling. [00:49:54] Kelsey: Mm-hmm. [00:49:55] Cara: But ultimately you are here to discover what it is to be you. [00:49:59] Cara: [00:50:00] sometimes that can feel selfish, [00:50:02] Cara: it's also like, oh, that is why not only is that empowering you, but because you have the one three profile, you are the investigator of experience. That is what that one three profile means. [00:50:15] Cara: And so your goal is to investigate experience and then be able to bring it to your coaching, your community, so it [00:50:22] Kelsey: Yes. [00:50:23] Cara: ties itself all together. And so like how does that feel in what you're doing? Does that feel resonant to you? [00:50:29] Kelsey: Yeah, it, it, you know, it really does. I was, at first I was like, well, what am I investigating? But then the more I think about it, yeah, I think for me, looking at where I started, kind of the divergence of the path that I was on, I think it has been a space of, of deep exploration. when I look at who I work with, it is folks who also are interested in taking their own, of course, unique iteration of this path, but still this diverging path. [00:50:56] Kelsey: you know, I've been in my business for about five years now and, I can't wait [00:51:00] to see how it grows and expands. But I hearing you say this, there are pieces of, I left this life and explored what's on the other side in this whole other area and it's pretty great over here. [00:51:12] Kelsey: So now people are coming over here to talk about it and to figure out how they can embody that uniquely for themselves and, you know, yeah, I think it's, that's cool. I'm excited to sit with that idea a little bit more and, and really think about how that shows up for me and in my business. [00:51:26] Cara: I would love to hear about your offerings for listeners. [00:51:30] Kelsey: Yeah, absolutely. So I work with folks one-on-one. absolutely that is one of my favorite ways to work with people e either in, usually it's a six month partnership, but we can always make it a custom journey. So I have one-on-one partnerships. I am excited about some recorded courses that will be launching over the summer. [00:51:50] Kelsey: I'm really looking forward to these. I'm turning some of my most popular group programs into, evergreen recorded courses that will come along with some [00:52:00] live calls. So you're, you're really getting that community aspect, but it's gonna be a little bit on your own time, so that feels really, really exciting. [00:52:06] Kelsey: I'm co-hosting retreat with my sister Krista in Baja Body Mind Business, Baja, which you're so excited about. It'll be year two for us there in November. Another thing I'm really excited about is I am in hypnotherapy school. So as that starts to come to a close, that part of my business will open up shops. [00:52:23] Kelsey: So really excited to start offering that. And all of this is available, on my website, kelsey leco.com. And the one thing I always forget to mention is my circle. So for preneurs and small business owners, I run a beautiful community called The Circle, and it's just to give you and your business some more structure accountability in community. [00:52:44] Kelsey: So we meet on Mondays for just kind of like gathering to connect, to get in touch with ourselves, our businesses. There's co-working hours, workshops, resources, slack, community, all the things. And that's been a really beautiful addition to all the things this year as well. [00:52:58] Cara: I love all that. I'll [00:53:00] make sure all of her offerings are in the show notes, and I just appreciate you coming on here and giving us your insight and wisdom. So thank you so much, Kelsey. [00:53:09] Kelsey: Thank you so much for having me. This is so fun. You've given me so many new things to look into and investigate, so thank you. It's been a joy. [00:53:15] Cara: You're welcome. We'll chat soon. [00:53:17] Cara: Thank you so much for joining me this week. If this was your first time. Welcome. And if you've joined me for previous episodes, thank you so much for coming back. Before you go, could you subscribe and share this episode with a friend? Those few seconds make a big impact on my show and I'd be grateful for the support. [00:53:34] I absolutely love this interview with Kelsey and I'm so happy that we've crossed paths. If you want to find out how to connect with her, check the show notes. And all the links mentioned will be caradempsey.com/ 68. Thank you so much for being here and we'll chat soon.