Spiritual Awakening: Balancing The Masculine and Feminine Energies With Natalie SJ Smith #30

NOTE: This podcast was transcribed by an AI tool. Please forgive any typos or errors. Spiritual Awakening: Balancing The Masculine and Feminine Energies === [00:00:00] Cara: Hi, friends. Welcome to Floductivity! I am so excited to have my friend Natalie back on the show. [00:00:06] She was with me for episode 11 [00:00:08] about finding our authentic self and energy transmutation. [00:00:13] we are talking about our spiritual awakenings and how to find ways to balance the masculine with the feminine. [00:00:21] I have been connecting with Natalie pretty often since our last episode, and I just love the energy that we have behind our conversation. So we wanted to bring this episode for you guys, so we hope you enjoy. [00:00:35] [00:00:35] Cara: I wanna thank all the listeners who've sent emails about topics they wanna hear, I just wanna open the door for anyone who wants to hear about a certain topic or. Conversation. You can email me [email protected]. I'm also taking limited free coaching spots for my podcast. If you'd like to learn more about your human design, cycle vitality, or even your [00:01:00] astrology chart. [00:01:00] So head over to caradempsey.com To find out more [00:01:04] Today, we are chatting with Natalie about all things, spiritual awakening, masculine and feminine, and just kind of seeing where the conversation goes. [00:01:14] Welcome to float activity, a place to inspire and empower beings to embrace self-love and self-development for an achievable balance of productivity. I share different ways to come back to your intuition through spirituality, self care, human design, cycle planning, wellness, and everything in between. [00:01:33] Thank you so much for joining me this week. If this is your first time. Welcome. And if you've been here with me before. Thank you so much for coming back. I'm so excited to join you in this journey. As we learn together. [00:01:46] So welcome, Natalie. [00:01:48] Natalie: Okay, nice to be here again. [00:01:51] Cara: Yes. We've been chatting with each other for the last few months and we've enjoyed these conversations and thought, why not bring it to the public and [00:02:00] see what you guys get from our conversations? [00:02:02] Natalie: successing. Isn't it. [00:02:04] Cara: It is. So I think we should dive into the topic of spiritual awakening, cuz I feel like that's really the first step in kind of finding our spirituality and seeing what resonates with us. And I think just hearing a little bit about your story would kind of kick this off if that's how we wanna go with it. [00:02:23] Natalie: So actually my spiritual awakening I find was very much unexpected, much like other people's spiritual awakening. Cause I see the spiritual awakenness as an awakening of self, like an awakening of awareness and it's an upleveling consciousness. And seeing beyond the matrix level. So I experienced a trauma, which then catapulted me into a different way of a different perspective, let's say. And in the last two years I've been on a, journey, a journey of self discovery, a journey of like unraveling [00:03:00] conditions. Understanding where my inner child was wounded, where I had disempowered masculine energy, where I had disempowered feminine energy. And as I said, you know, the last two years, it's been a journey to uncover that and to raise my level of awareness of self. [00:03:17] How about yours? What about [00:03:19] your spiritual. [00:03:20] Cara: I feel like mine's very similar. it was first of all, a different mindset shift, a different perception. I felt like it was. Living in this world of all these things were happening to me living in that victim mentality. [00:03:32] And then I had a moment of like, Nope, these things are happening for me. And getting to a point where realizing, trying to control the outcome of everything was really. Hurting my spirit hurting my body. It was hurting my mentality, all of it. And the moment of surrendering to the universe, that's when it happened, it was like, I can't control all these things kind of building up and happening and then [00:04:00] just looking at it differently. [00:04:01] Like we will still. Have traumas, we will still be triggered. We will still have all these things. It's just having that self-awareness and understanding of what do I need to learn from this to kind of propel myself forward and having kind of appreciation for lessons and using them to grow from it. [00:04:23] Natalie: And like with that, I suppose, like with, um, you know, spiritual awaken and trauma that oftentimes, when you go for a spiritual awakening, you've, you know, perhaps a lot of people experience some kind of trauma or, Or something, which not necessarily a trauma, but it's something which is profound to them, which is resulted in them taking, certain types of action in their life. [00:04:44] And like, with, you know, you're saying about your spiritual awakening and I suppose, like the perspective I have is, you know, disengaging with the, with the identification of, I am traumatized andI've experienced this trauma and it's really, you know, acknowledging that yeah. [00:04:59] [00:05:00] You've experienced trauma and yeah, it was really, really crappy and yes, it really, could have had a profound effect on your emotional wellbeing, your mental wellbeing, your physical wellbeing, but then it's the staying present and awakening to the present moment. To then treat consciously, which is what it is really, you know, the evolution of consciousness to stay present, to then choose a direction which is beneficial for what you wanna do in your life and disengaging with the, with the trauma. [00:05:29] Cara: Yeah. And I think the important factor of talking about trauma is. It doesn't matter how big or small the trauma is. It's how you felt when it was happening to you. If you are feeling alone in it, it has a deeper impact on, on you and. For me personally, I had this story that I was building up in my mind that I felt very unsupported because I did not know how to support myself. [00:05:56] So while at the time it felt like an external [00:06:00] lack of support. It was always putting Whatever anybody else wanted or needed before mine, whatever they thought. However, that was, and it was taking my power away and it was making me feel super alone. And when I realized that I need to be the number one person to support myself through these things, I realized that with these big or little, or, just whatever's coming my way. [00:06:26] I have to support myself first and then go from there. And it feels a lot easier going through that, to know that we. Need to be our number one support system, cheerleader, whatever that is. If we're looking for love, we need to love ourselves first. If we need, you know, to be cheered on and celebrated, we gotta celebrate ourselves first. [00:06:46] So it's also having that mindset shift of, we need to be what we need for ourselves to kind of flourish in this life. [00:06:54] Natalie: So how did you get from that way of being that mindset to shift in [00:07:00] it? what did you do? [00:07:01] Cara: Oh, my gosh. I can tell you a singular moment. I went to visit some family in West Virginia, and I say that when I visit them, it's a magical place and I always felt little pieces of it. Every time I went, I always felt a different way. Like I could go there and shut out the world. I could do all these different things. [00:07:24] And so one, I feel like there's healing places in this world and that's just one for me. the moment of the support from this family to say, go. Focus on yourself. And I'm like, well for how long? And they're like, however long you need. And I never had that after having kids, having, being a hairstylist, like everything was always planned to the minute. [00:07:46] So I think for me, it was taking that time restriction out. And honestly, just being able to sit with myself and then I was in a sauna and I feel like when you can sweat out your emotions, It's a very [00:08:00] powerful thing. And I was in the process of detoxing. So there was so many little tiny things that I think built up to it, but like the detoxing and, and being in this magical place and surrendering and I went to sit in the sauna and my busy B you know, busy bodied mind brought in. [00:08:16] Book to read my journal, to write my music, to listen to. And I left all of it outside of the sauna. And I literally just sat in there and like every emotion like came out through my pores, I cried it out and it was just having that. I can't control. Let me just relax into the moment. And then it was like spirit universe kind of. [00:08:38] Hit me in the face and was like, you got it. that's what you need to move forward is allow what you need to come through instead of trying to control every moment. So I don't know if that really answered your question, but, you know, it's like the, all the pieces kind of fit for that to happen for me in that moment. [00:08:55] Natalie: Of course, like a lot of what, you know, that I felt from that was, it was just [00:09:00] a huge implementation of self care in several different aspects of your life and allowing it to build, as you said, and not only build, but then releasing all of the, the old, old ways of being through emotion. I do love the sauna stuff as well, we are energetic beings and we need to release this energy and sauna. [00:09:20] What a great way to do it. [00:09:21] Cara: Yeah, I want one that's on my like vision board. I want one eventually so that I can go, because at that time of my life, it was super powerful. I was detoxing from mold. My house had mold and looking back, it was trauma for me because it was affecting my health poorly. It was affecting my kids' health, even my husband. [00:09:40] And so I didn't know how to get on top of. And knowing that mold and things that affect the gut health, like that affect women more because of our hormones and our cycles. It really impacted me and because I had so many built up emotions in my body, I did not allow myself to process [00:10:00] anything like. Everything that I went through from, being pregnant with my son, everything after that, I just kept going forward without actually processing it. And so it was a huge moment of release that I needed to move forward. And, it's gonna be different for everyone, especially in the different times and seasons of their life, of what they need to do to release that. [00:10:21] But you're right. Releasing the emotions was probably at the top of that list because I did not know how to do that. And when I was put in that sauna, I had no other choice, but to get all that out of my body, [00:10:32] Natalie: yeah. I love that. I love that, but, uh, you know, emotional releasing is important and you know, I can empathize with that. I personally with my own journey, I weigh seven stone heavier this time. Well, yeah, , last year than I, than I do now. And I genuinely, like, I genuinely put down a lot of the, the weight loss. [00:10:53] two, not only a mindset shift, but you know, actually looking at where my emotion, like what I was doing, what I was [00:11:00] doing to like manage my emotions because I was mismanaging them by stuffing them with food. And again, you know, won't get into that whole dynamic, but again, it's like all of these coping mechanisms, but as you, acknowledge your emotions and you most importantly feel them, which, you know, I don't know if you can empathize with this, but if you haven't done so, or you found difficulty, doing so then when all of these emotions do come up, it's like, oh crap, this is too much to handle. [00:11:30] I don't, I don't wanna deal with that. I don't put it near me, you know, for me last year it was very much like a pushing away. Like, I know that it's there and I'm gonna edge towards it slowly, but that, you know, all those small steps. Create that, you know, a part of that emotional healing and a part of that release and a part of, learning to manage your emotions effectively to contribute to the mindset shift. [00:11:55] Cara: Yeah. I mean, definitely. I, I love analogies of thinking [00:12:00] about. Being a closet and you know, if you open it and it's just jam packed full and it's overwhelming to look at it and you're like overwhelmed and you're like, where do I start? How do I deal with this? Like, I know I need to do something about it because I'm wasting so much time and energy pretending that this stuff isn't in the closet. [00:12:19] Natalie: Yeah. [00:12:20] Cara: And then thinking about, you know, kind of taking it out piece by piece and what feels good to you. You know, some people might wanna dive straight in and say, oh, I'm gonna do all of this now, you know, that might be a little overwhelming for your nervous system. So I probably wouldn't say that, but you know, finding a way that feels good to you to be able to process it, whether it's journaling, moving your body, like walking in nature, there's so many ways that you can find that feels good to you because everybody. [00:12:47] Spiritual awakening journey to wellness, whatever you wanna call it, it's gotta feel authentic to you. You can't fit yourself in a box that someone else is doing and you don't know until you try it, you know?[00:13:00] [00:13:00] Natalie: And again, you know, you've just mentioned, different methods, like journey and meditation walking, you know, there's like you said, there's, there's lots, lots of different methods and it is you do have to, it is part of the journey to explore those avenues. What does work? What doesn't. You know what works for me, someone else may think, ah, this, I don't need to, I don't wanna do that. [00:13:20] That doesn't work for me whatsoever. But you know, as you said, you know, keeping it, so your, your journey's authentic to you. [00:13:26] Cara: Definitely. And I found with the seasons of change, whether it's a different season of the year, a different season of my cycle, I find that there's different. Times where I'm more vulnerable and that I need to make sure I set those certain boundaries to be able to process my emotions in a place that feels safe to me. [00:13:45] You know, for example, when I'm in my. luteal phase, especially towards getting an menstruation I'm like super vulnerable. So making sure that I'm not in a place where I can't really go through and process that because before I would be like, why [00:14:00] am I being crazy? You know, I think a lot of people maybe experience. [00:14:05] A cycle and like, they don't realize why their emotions are so intense. Well, like that is a part of the cycle. And you might have that with the moon cycle too. Like it's all connected and understanding. We are not supposed to like. Be on a straight line, you know, like we are meant to go in a cycle and know that at different points of the week, the month, the day where wherever it falls, honor that accept it and do what feels good and not try to, have a strict routine that doesn't feel good to you cuz then you're not gonna do it. [00:14:35] Right. [00:14:35] Natalie: No completely. I can understand. And like, obviously you very much tuned in with like the, with like the menstrual cycle and hormones. And you mentioned about the moon cycle, which is. What I tune into and example, I'm cancer son. I cancer in my mercury. I have cancer in my 12 house. [00:14:54] So that very much like whenever it comes to a full moon, I'm aware, you know, at this point I'm [00:15:00] aware that actually, , I prepare myself now it's gonna get to a full moon and my emotions are gonna be heightened. My intuition is gonna be heightened. you know, I experience like sensory, what's that word? [00:15:11] I m very sensitive to, to energy sounds and all of that kind of stuff. So when it comes to like a full moon, that is again, my heightened. So all of these things, you know, I'm aware. Cancers, water it's emotion, especially the way that I think as well. [00:15:27] So I have to be so mindful that, okay, I'm gonna experience this at a full moon. I know what I need to do now. I need to make sure that I'm writing more. I need to make sure that I'm really grounding myself because otherwise my emotions will overload every aspect of my life, which is, is not healthy. [00:15:47] Reg like emotional regulation for. So over time at the beginning, I didn't know any of this. I didn't have a Scooby, but now throughout all of that time of learning and taking the small [00:16:00] steps, you know, I found that I understand myself on a you know, , more intuitive level, but again, , that's taken two years to build that awareness of my way of being. [00:16:11] Cara: Yeah, I think an important aspect that you touched is that you prepare and I think that's the biggest thing is not preparing for when we're gonna be emotionally vulnerable. And when we. Know that you, especially that you know, that that's coming up. I mean, cancer is all about the emotions. The moon is all about the emotions. [00:16:32] And so that you have that awareness, like you have figured out tracking, you know, that moon cycle and understanding what's coming and preparing for that. If you expect yourself to be something you're not at that time, you're gonna be disappointed and you're gonna be left depleted. [00:16:48] And so that preparation is huge to be able to honor yourself and you're setting yourself. Up for success after you go through that, because your mind, body and soul is [00:17:00] gonna be ready to use that inspiration that's come through. You've processed those emotions so that you can really step into your power. [00:17:07] Once you get past that phase of that moon cycle. And I did wanna mention that you are also an emotional authority, so not only do you have those big aspects in your natal chart, you also have that emotional authority, which means sometimes it's hard for you to make decisions when you are in that storm. So making sure that you give yourself the space to process that and make your decision after the storm, when it's calm, when you find that emotional balance. So to really step into your power, you know, your, astrology chart, and then you take that aspect of your human design and you kind of marry them together. [00:17:45] And it's like, you know, you have that emotional power. How can you use it? How can you use it for your benefit instead of. Like my Gemini moon, I'd be like, why am I so crazy? You know what I mean? Like, why are my emotions here or here? I don't [00:18:00] get it. And knowing that that's how I am and using it to my power instead of kind of looking at, it as a downside, you can use it. [00:18:07] Natalie: because I said, you know, it is duality, right. Everything has its duality. So if you, if it's like a disempowered energy, then obviously you can't utilize it to your advantage. , but if you are working towards, healing, those, qualities of yourself, for example, you know, emotions, healing, the emotions, then you can use it as an advantage rather than what I did last year, which obviously was a subconscious program, but allowing my emotions to rule me, which. You know, we're not gonna, we're not gonna go into it, but it can, it can cause this, uh, discombobulation of, of self [00:18:44] Cara: It's like an energy leakage. Your energy is literally being leaked into the areas to not empower you. It is you're right. It's disempowering you because you're not taking that energy. And inputing it where it needs to, to harness your [00:19:00] energy, to be who you are. [00:19:01] Natalie: mm-hmm. No, absolutely again, you know, but it is like I find education. This is why I'm I'm. So yeah, education ensuring that people are educated on the things that are going to assist them with their own journeys, offering the tools for people to, to select, you know, and, and guidance of where to find the information. [00:19:23] I personally found that on my journey. Where they felt like an overwhelmed that I knew what I needed to do, but trying to access and find the information for me personally, it was an information overload, cuz I am very much a, can be an all or nothing type of person, you know? And again, it's like healing and, you know, rebalancing that part of self and you know, accessing the information and finding the right information sources too. [00:19:50] Cara: Definitely and, you know, feeling. Good about where you are putting that energy, you know, just because someone else's. Using [00:20:00] another spiritual teacher or book. It doesn't mean that it's gonna speak to you in that moment. I can't tell you how many times where I've seen a book and I'm like, oh, okay. That sounds great. [00:20:09] And then months later I'm like, oh, now's the time that I am mentally, emotionally ready to dive into something like this because. Again, you know, our, our journeys are so much different, but understanding how you can kind of connect with that intuition and really see what feels good to you, cuz ultimately like that is the end goal is living a life that ultimately feels good to you. [00:20:32] I mean, does that mean we're not gonna go through hardships and things like that. Of course we are, you know, life isn't going to be perfect, but if you can wake up and feel. I'm living the best version of myself each and every day. And that also means like, feeling those emotions, letting yourself do nothing in a day, you know, flowing with what feels good to your body and not kind of making yourself do the things that you think you're supposed to do, because I've fallen in that trap of like, I need to [00:21:00] meditate today. [00:21:00] And it's like, well, having that strict, I need to meditate. Isn't gonna really let me sit in my body and really feel what I need to feel. [00:21:08] Natalie: mm-hmm [00:21:09] Cara: So I might do better dancing and moving my body. And that would get me into my emotions and feel what I feel. So understanding that, you know, you have discernment and you have that intuition and the more you tap into like how you're built and your design and all those like little things that make you, who you are, is going to make you really connected with. [00:21:30] Feeling good. And that confirmation of feeling good to say yes, that's going to make me the best version of myself today and not following, you know, what, or who's doing all these different things. [00:21:42] Natalie: Mm. And I, you know, as you just said, you know, if you don't wanna meditate, then intuitively following what you want to do. Like you said, dancing. To offer a different perspective, you know, as you said, we we've got to follow our own design. And for me, if I didn't have a routine, if I didn't [00:22:00] have things planned out exactly what I'm doing, when I'm doing it, I become way more overwhelmed because it means my emotions aren't structured. [00:22:08] And I've gotta take the time out to feel, to reevaluate, to, you know, be in a, an intuitive. Again, that's something that I had to learn because I thought, you know, I could be in this flow state just to my natural state of being I could be in this flow state yet really was, was it beneficial for me in, in the long run? [00:22:30] No, it wasn't. And I found that, because I would evaluate, if I haven't meditated, then I'd find myself very much just in the Astro, just in. In this world of my own, which I absolutely love the world of my own, but it's not the real world. So again, obviously, you know, another perspective is find what, what works for you. [00:22:50] And as you said, don't rely on everybody. Else's way of being to, you know, I think that's gonna work for, you've gotta it's trial and error. It's try an [00:23:00] error though. The whole journey. [00:23:01] Cara: Yeah. So you have a set routine. that you do, or does it kind of flow with where you're at? Because I would love to hear what, what you kind of do to embrace that. [00:23:11] Natalie: So I have my day structured so I have my morning routine, which , just doesn't change. I've got my journaling, meditation, yoga. And then, I've just changed it recently. So I'm taking a walk outside in the morning, but I have it. And then I have it structured, for, I can't remember what the term's called. [00:23:27] It's like, you work 25 minutes, take five minute break. I have tasks and then, you know, I will bunch, bunch together the task, like what do I need to do by the end of the. Put it into like the slots that I have, but intuitively like each day I'll have like a, a pre-planning, so that's my intuitive, you know, aspect. [00:23:45] So what am I feeling like today? What do I feel like I'm capable of achieving what are my energy levels like, and then taking those tasks, putting them into the slots that are already there and then, yeah. And that's pretty much it. [00:23:59] Cara: Yeah, that's [00:24:00] great that you figured out a system that works for you, cuz I know like everybody's very different on that. Like for me, I have set. Specific things I need to do every morning, but how I work depends on the day and depends on where I'm at my cycle. There's routine and then there's flow. [00:24:14] And I do merge that and, I think finding the right thing for you is important. and I had a friend that I did, the podcast that came out today and she's like, I don't wanna set routine. And I'm like, I get that. So this is what you need to do to utilize it. Cuz she, like would get into decision paralysis and I'm like just make a list of the different things that you like to do and where you were using her menstrual cycle as the guidepost. [00:24:39] And just say like start thinking about if I got to do something for. You know, 10 minutes in this morning, what would be my ideal thing right now? And having that list. When you wake up in the morning to say, these are my choices, this is what I get to choose from today. What 1:00 AM I gonna choose? Versus like, I have to do this today. [00:24:58] That's that mindset shift of saying [00:25:00] like, oh, I get to spend this time on myself. What am I gonna choose today? Because I'm going to do that. I'm a priority. And then making that. You know, a part of your every day to make sure that you are making yourself a priority before you move. In a day. It's like, I don't serve myself if I roll outta bed and I jump right into, you know, taking my kids to school. Like I need to take a few minutes and if I have to get up a little bit earlier to make sure that happens, then I do that, you know, but the. Cute thing is with my kids. They have things that they wanna do. [00:25:30] And I have an affirmation podcast that I listen with them on the way to school. Like they ask for it, they say it in the car. And so it's like teaching them those little aspects. They don't even realize that it's. I've, put that in their little daily routine when I get to take them to school. And it's finding those things, that's gonna uplift you with that positive mindset going in that day of saying like I'm taking on the world today, you know? [00:25:54] Natalie: I absolutely love that. I love that. The, the affirmation thing that's brilliant. It's [00:26:00] brilliant. [00:26:00] Cara: Yes. [00:26:01] Natalie: if I ever have [00:26:01] You I've reminded myself of this moment. [00:26:04] Cara: Yes. I mean, it was one of the first podcast episodes I released because I had it in my voice memos, my daughter and I worked on it when she started school last year. And then when I was launching my podcast, I asked her, I said, can I turn this into an episode, let's pick your favorite affirmations and let's put it in there. [00:26:21] And so she loves it and I kind of feel bad because it's completely dedicated to my daughter, but my son, you know, even when we were going to pick up my daughter yesterday, like picking her up from school, cuz we do it on the way to school. And he was like, can we listen to affirmations in the parking lot? [00:26:36] And I said, well, should we wait until we get sissy? And he goes, no, I wanna do it now while we. For, and it's just cute that like, he gets excited to listen to that too. So now I'm like, I have to do an episode for him. I know, I think I know what I'm gonna do. He, he is a Scorpio son and so we work on breathing to help regulate his emotions. [00:26:55] So I think I'm going to do a breathwork episode in honor of him, because that is [00:27:00] something that I help him with in, letting him feel through his emotions. Cause boy, does he. Have those emotions that kinda roll on through [00:27:08] Natalie: oh, that's absolutely brilliant. That's brilliant. [00:27:11] Cara: Yes. I think I never knew how to regulate my emotions. I just didn't know. And also very susceptible to other people's emotions, my emotional center and my human design is open. [00:27:26] Natalie: mm-hmm [00:27:26] Cara: learned that that was probably the most mind blowing thing in my human design chart to understand that. [00:27:33] It's the way I'm designed and that one of the biggest things that I do when I feel an overwhelming wave of emotion, usually it's not mine, it's someone else's. And so I just kind of remove myself from the situation to kind of reengage because when I'm in that emotional wave with someone else, I do not do anybody favors because I magnify. [00:27:54] So if there's anger, I'm going to magnify that anger. And so knowing that I need to take, take a [00:28:00] step back. And so it's been a real practice with my son, cuz he is a little precious being. And when he gets on that surfboard of emotions, it's trying to figure out where to kind of like catch him. To do that. [00:28:14] And you know, my, even my husband has noticed and he said something like, yeah, he was getting really upset and he just kind of walked out of the room and went in the bathroom and. Took some of that breathing techniques that I taught him and came back out and he goes, I'm okay. Now I'm okay now. And it's, you know, like it makes me proud to know that he's three and that he's kind of taking these little things, to help him regulate that because, think about back when we were little children and not knowing to process emotions is scary, especially when we feel I'm so big. [00:28:45] So I could only imagine. With his little Scorpio, sun emotions, kind of beaming through where it's like, I don't have control of this. How can I control it? And tools like meditation breathwork really works well for him. And he's only three. So [00:28:58] Natalie: Oh my God, this [00:29:00] honestly, this brilliant. It's brilliant. And like I said, you know, these are techniques that people can pick up yet. The, the techniques that people have to want to, like there, there has to be, you know, all of these resources are out there and you can lead a horse towards you. [00:29:14] Can't make it drink. You know, people have to make the decision themselves to. To, you know, do breath work and do meditation, yoga, walk in, you know, creation, whatever it looks like to whoever it is. yeah, just, they've gotta take the steps themselves. [00:29:30] Cara: Yeah. I mean, you're right. , it's gotta be up to them to make that, that step. I mean, for me, To really realize I kind of had to hit a point of rock bottom before I could come up. And I hate that, that happens to a lot of people where they have to get so low or just feel so poorly in the life that they've created to kind of say, like, what do I need to change this? [00:29:50] Because that was kind of one of those moments for me of, I am the creator of my reality. So if I want if I envision a life. How can I get there? [00:30:00] And it can be overwhelming at first when you have this life, and it was like, I had the career, you know, I was exactly where I wanted to be in my career. [00:30:08] I had the family and from the outside looking in, I I'm sure a lot of people were like, wow, she's living. I don't wanna say a perfect life cuz that doesn't exist. But I'm sure some people are like, wow, she's got a great life. And I was drowning. I was literally drowning. I. Keep up with the life. And it was one of those. [00:30:27] I was doing the things that I thought I was supposed to do. I was living the expectations that I thought people wanted me to live. And knowing that that's not how we're supposed to live our life, that we be the ones to create that. And. Knowing that you don't have to quit your job. You don't have to like burn everything down to the ground and start up again. [00:30:48] But if you can take a few moments every day and connect with this future version of yourself and really sit with them and say, what do I need to be. Who do I need to [00:31:00] be? What do I need to embody every day? What are the little habits rituals? How can I be that best version of myself? And just start little by little and doing that and doing those little things. [00:31:10] And for me, it was, making sure I do. The Tibetan writes every morning and it's five yoga moves with an affirmation. It's moving my body. It's saying the affirmations. And it's a little form of prayer for me. It's like a little ritual that I do every day. When I don't feel like moving my body, I say, well, I did my Tibetan rights. [00:31:30] Was it only seven to 10 minutes? Depending on how long it takes me. Yeah. But I still move my body and it made me feel good. And it was starting doing that. And then the next thing was okay, I'm gonna read a self development book every morning. Not like the whole book, but you know, spend 10 minutes reading on something to really invest in myself and take that time. [00:31:50] Okay. That's what I'm gonna do every day. And so it's finding those things that is going to empower you to be that , best version of yourself so that you can step into [00:32:00] this vision that you have, because it's not magically gonna happen. I used to think, me winning the lottery is going to give me that life. [00:32:07] Well, like, guess what? That's probably not gonna happen. And so how can I make those little steps and that aligned action every day to really embody this fulfilled, but easeful life that I craved and, you know, do I have it all figured out? Absolutely not, but my life feels so much easier than trying to live. Life of expectations that I thought everybody else wanted me to live. And I started living it for myself. [00:32:34] Natalie: mm-hmm on. Yeah, this brilliant and, such an important point as well. especially with social media, and where people are showcasing, you know, what's going on in their experience. , I found that I've had to remove myself from it, you know, to avoid, you know, just that it's living for myself rather than the expectation the other people, have on me. [00:32:56] But what people want from me aligning with that, with [00:33:00] your true self. Out of curiosity. How long did it take you from when you, you had your job before you were living, like in, you know, in like the old way of being to then getting to this point now with the level of awareness that you have, like, what was that transition? [00:33:15] How long did it take [00:33:17] Cara: it's ever evolving I'm still learning every day. it was like one having. The space for myself to have meditation, because I would see glimpses of my future in these meditations. And I did not realize that's what was happening until they happened. And so, for example, I did a meditation of. My perfect day. And I envisioned myself being home with my kids and being able to focus on my health. And I was like, ha, that's not gonna happen. I, you know, work. And, , there was all these limitations I had in my own mind. And then, we were in lockdown and I was like, is confirmation of, I can do this. [00:33:57] And maybe I need to rethink my [00:34:00] thoughts and think maybe it's time for me to let that jab go. It. Internally. I never let that thought come through. Because there was definitely a point the first year and a half of this, I still had major moments of hustling through my intuition. I would get a great idea and I would work, work, work, and then I would be depleted. [00:34:18] I was like, still on this hustle cycle and I didn't know how to get out of it. And so making sure that I'm checking in with myself. So kind of like you were saying with your routine, that you would like work for 25 minutes and take a five minute break. I'm really trying to implement that in when I'm working and making sure I'm taking time to say, am I still feeling good about what I'm working on? [00:34:37] Because. Always was like, let me just finish it, let me just finish it. And sometimes I feel like the universe is like, well, this is good for you to work on now, but we're not ready for you to finish it. You're not where you need to be to be able to finish that. And so I can't really say how long it took, because it was. Getting off that hustle mentality. I was still in it, even though I was living [00:35:00] more of an aligned life. I still didn't know how to get off of that. And especially cuz I have so much masculine in my chart, that productivity is deep in my soul. Like I love productivity. And so it's more of strengthening that connection to my intuition. [00:35:15] So that comes through to tell me no, no. Nope. You need to take a break. No, no, no. We're not working today. We're gonna spend time with our kids. You know what, today you need to connect with your inner child. And so I can't say there was an a to Z. It was that process of learning how to connect with that intuition, how to strengthen that. [00:35:34] And that for me personally, is. Understanding how I'm built with my human design and understanding my cycle vitality and really leaning into that, because that is me. Like that is how I operate. And so when I'm trying to do things that don't feel good to me, I'm not, no, one's getting my best version of myself. [00:35:54] Natalie: Mm-hmm and I, you did, you did mention a lockdown as well. So it seems like it's been [00:36:00] a journey, let's say for the, at least the past couple of years, I can assume from what you've said you made the point that it, it is a journey and that, you said you have like a lot of, masculine energy in your, in your. [00:36:12] Which is obviously very directive and very, just, go, go, go hustle culture. And, I found that when I've been healing, the masculine and the feminine energy, I very strong masculine energy and , it was also for me to strengthen the, feminine energy, the intuition, the connection with, with the divine, [00:36:30] to balance it out. So it's an equal playing field and that it's not this stop start, stop, start finding, what works for you, so that you can live your design. Cause we're all made exactly how we're supposed to be made. You know, we're all perfectly imperfect. [00:36:47] We're built for whatever it is that you know, that the ideas are gifted to us. So, yeah, [00:36:53] Cara: I think, finding that balance between the masculine and feminine, Being a hair stylist and [00:37:00] playing soccer. It was, you know, competition and go, go, go. And especially when I graduated cosmetology school it was very much like, yeah, you work yourself into the ground. [00:37:11] You work 10 hours, 12 hours. don't take breaks. You don't exist. Your client's more important than you. And I mean, no wonder I got burnt out and I. That idea is totally changing in that occupation, in all the occupations, but especially that one. And so lockdown, it was surrendering to the universe to say like, what do I need to kind of propel myself forward in that? [00:37:35] And so I am thankful for that time. Not being able to schedule people on my book, that I was literally forced into canceling all my clients, because it was back to that whole time structure I really didn't even have time in between clients to like go to the bathroom, drink water, like being so strict on time from going from a to Z. [00:37:57] It gave me a chance to kind. Just say, [00:38:00] well, I have no control over this. I am going to enjoy my kids. When am I gonna get this possibility again? And it was taking that away and then kind of leaning into it and saying, oh, you know what, this, maybe this is the time to a breath and, and enjoy this life and then see where the universe points me. [00:38:19] And so sometimes while it might be frustrating that we're stopped. In our plans that we want, or there's a roadblock or something, it's probably the universe saying like, Hey, it's time for you to focus on yourself a little bit. And then the answers will come. And you know, if you keep hustling through, you will not be able to listen to your intuition. [00:38:39] It will not come through because. would say that I had a strong intuition as a child. And then with that competition and with that, you know, hustling through built in so strongly, it got pushed down and pushed down and pushed down and, you know, finding those things that really help you connect with it again, using. Your cycle vitality, [00:39:00] whether that's the moon or your menstrual cycle being out in nature, you know, really harnessing that. And so for me, I was on birth control. The majority of having a period. and when I was in that detox period, I had mentioned earlier, I was still on birth control and I was like, Hey, you know what? [00:39:17] I think it's time that I really cut out anything that's like not organic and natural, cuz I really devoted myself to this detox period. But I was like, whoa, I don't know how to have a period. I don't know what that I don't know that there's four different cycles. I don't know there's food that will help you nourish yourself in each cycle. [00:39:36] Like, I didn't know any of that. And so I bowed into that and that's where I learned to grasp my femine in, because I didn't know how to do that. I really had no idea. [00:39:46] Natalie: See, [00:39:46] Cara: And so. Feminine energy. I needed it to balance out that hustling and I still have that hustle in me. I just do it a lot more with flow. [00:39:56] I understand my body. I know how to utilize it and [00:40:00] really get my work done at the right times. Only when I could rest at the times, my body needs it. Because if I hustle through that time where my body needs rest, I will not be able to be that productive person that I wanna be. So it's like learning to honor those cycles, just like you were saying with the moon learning to honor those emotions at that time is really powerful because then after that, you can really harness that and use that emotional awareness that you have. [00:40:27] Natalie: You mentioned, the feminine energy and that the ideas will flow to you when you're in the feminine energy of relaxation, cuz the feminine energy is receiving and the masculine energy is given. So it makes sense. You know, if we're always in this state of, of mind being of go, go, go and there's no stop. [00:40:48] Then where is the time to not only process what's happening in your environment, but to also receive divine inspiration and, you [00:41:00] know, feel what what's going on. And then with that you can course corrective need to be. [00:41:04] Cara: I, would say that with the. Menstrual cycle. And I can't say that I've found this anywhere to confirm it, but my own experience is there is a masculine time of the cycle for me, at least. And knowing that, when you are bleeding, you're in that fourth phase, that winter phase you really need to connect to that feminine. And then the spring you start emerging. And then I feel like. The ovulation and the first half of your luteal is the masculine time. That's when you get stuff done, that's like when that productivity comes through, but like you said, that inspiration's not gonna come through. if you're hustling too much. [00:41:45] So knowing that you really need to lean into that second half of your luteal and winter and even spring to kind of sit within and allow yourself the rest and, use that cycle. And I can tell you [00:42:00] firsthand, I know a hundred percent it will because when I started this journey, I. Was getting so much energy in that ovulation luteal phase. [00:42:08] And like, I was stuck in that hustle, hustle, hustle. My body would start to tell me, okay, it's time to reel it in, my cycle's longer. So around day 27, my body would get tired. My body was telling me it's time to reel it in, but my period hadn't come yet. And so I would still hustle. And then I would be absolutely depleted because in my mind it was like, well, my period's not here yet. So it's not time for me to rest. Well, guess what, when your body's telling you, and it's getting tired, it's time for you to rest. You don't have to have a period for that to happen. You have to listen to your body to use it. [00:42:44] That's intuition is , literally listening to what your body's trying to tell you. And so it took me. Some really hard lessons in that time of my life, that vulnerability that we were talking about, because that's also, when you get vulnerable, when your body's saying it's time to rest, you start to get [00:43:00] vulnerable. [00:43:00] And, you know, , I was doing things past the point of that hustle. And then I would get upset that people weren. Appreciative of that. Well guess what, that's me for discern, not them. That's my job to say, oh, I shouldn't be doing this stuff. My body's telling me to rest. And so just harnessing. Again, those cycles, whatever you're using the moon, your menstruals just honoring and harnessing those cycles. [00:43:26] And you will go through those phases of planning, of doing, of, you know, refining the details and reflecting. It's all literally in a cycle. And when you harness that cycle, you'll really be able to understand your power within. [00:43:41] Natalie: Absolutely. And we've had conversations before about the menstrual cycle. And obviously again, another perspective is I don't have regular menstrual cycles. I have polycystic ovary syndrome. So that's hence why finding a method that will work for you and [00:44:00] my method be in the moon. I know that that works for me to be in tune with myself. [00:44:06] And again, obviously, you mentioned as well, , don't need to have a period to know that that's when to rest, it's finding how to tap into your own energy. You know what do you, what do you feel like you need? What do you need? So if I have a, something that's coming up in my thought process, and if it comes up, you know, let me think of an example. [00:44:25] Like, you know, I don't know, I need to do laundry, just a very random example, but I need to do laundry. And then I haven't done laundry, which, know, never happens. But anyway, and then the next day I'm like, I need to do laundry. And if I ignore that, then that's me going against my inner. Me not listening to what I feel like I need to do what I do need to do. [00:44:44] And again, it's just it's I personally, I find it's very much disrespectful to myself to not listen to what I need. [00:44:52] Cara: Definitely. And I think you bringing that up is if anybody's trying to start. A journey or support themselves [00:45:00] through the journey. The number one tool that you need in this process is self-awareness because you'll get nothing without that. Self-awareness because ultimately it's the guide back to yourself. [00:45:10] It's understanding your emotions, it's understanding what you need. if you don't have that, self-awareness, you're going to be blocked in everything that you're gonna do, because you need to understand yourself. to tap into your power. That's, you know, I feel like the number one thing that you need to catapult yourself forward and support yourself and love yourself and all those things is self-awareness so that you can be that support system for yourself a hundred percent. [00:45:39] Natalie: Yeah. Unconditionally. Love yourself [00:45:41] Cara: Yes. [00:45:42] Natalie: Yeah. [00:45:43] Cara: It's true, we can be the biggest critics to ourselves too. And understanding that we need to love ourselves in the process because healing is hard. It's so hard, how you'll feel on the other side is [00:46:00] well worth. The emotional rollercoaster it takes to, you know, love yourself, heal, heal yourself, heal that inner child, that entertain all those aspects that need that love and attention. [00:46:11] Like you can do that for yourself. You don't need any external person. You don't need that person that hurt you in first grade for bullying you like, you know what I mean? You don't need them. You need yourself now to meet yourself then and give her love and give her and tell her the things that she wants to hear. [00:46:32] when you have that, self-awareness, you can build that self-confidence and that self-confidence is really going to lean into. What you really need and how you can love yourself [00:46:42] Natalie: yeah, absolutely. [00:46:44] Cara: Yeah. Well, I feel like this has been such a wonderful conversation and I hope we can do this more cuz you know, I love chatting with you and I feel like we have so many profound conversations the last few [00:46:57] Natalie: We do. Yeah, we do. And it [00:47:00] it's a pleasure. Yes. Absolute pleasure. Thank you for, for this [00:47:03] Cara: Well, I always appreciate our conversations and we will chat soon, Natalie. [00:47:08] /Thank you so much for joining me this week. If this was your first time. Welcome. And if you've joined me for previous episodes, thank you so much for coming back before you go. I'd love. If you could share this episode with a friend or if you haven't yet, those few seconds make a big ePACK to my podcasts and I would be grateful for the support. [00:47:25] I always, absolutely love the conversations I have with Natalie. And that is why we decided to bring it to floductivity. We get so much out of our conversations and we hope that these conversations can help you in your spiritual growth. If you want to find out how to connect with her, you can check the show [00:47:42] She is on Tik TOK and Instagram as Natalie S J Smith. All the links mentioned and the episode will be caradempsey.com/30. we'll chat soon