Recovering from Burnout | #3
I’m your host Cara Dempsey, I am married with two small kids, and I left my career of 19 years because of a lack of self-care and boundaries, which led me right to burn out.
In this episode, I talk about the struggles I’ve had after having my second child. I also talk about how my immune system started to shut down while also dealing with the health issues of my family. I talk about the mindset changes that occurred for me to start living a life that feels more purposeful and allows me to be more present for my family. I want you to know that taking time for yourself is very important so that you don’t get burned out from your life. I hope this inspires you to take action in loving yourself.
Healing our Relationship with Food and Connecting to our Intuition with Dr. Claudia Thompson | #2
In this interview with Dr. Claudia Thompson, we dive into how important self-care is to connect with our best version of ourselves. Especially the stuff we don’t think applies to us or feels hard at first. Women tend to have so much going on that we forget how important it is to get out of our heads and into our bodies. We cover how to start healing our relationship with food:
We dive into Claudia’s journey by healing her own food story and how it inspired her to help others in their journey.
We tackle the topic of food and how our coping mechanisms make us think we are keeping ourselves safe.
We dive deep into what healing may look like and how that is different for everyone.
We talk about what intuition is, why it’s important, and ways that may help other women begin their journey to their intuition.
New Moon in Aries Meditation | #1
Today, this meditation is going to help us assess our needs and desires and bring them to life. You may use this meditation, however, feels best for you. My goal in meditations is to encourage you to take this practice in a way that serves you. If you’re walking while listening, that’s perfect cooking or sitting in silence. That’s perfect too. If you want to grab your journal during or after, that’s a great way to help bring this new energy to light. I hope you enjoy.
Wellness Retreat At Home For Complete Rejuvenation
I found a way to have a wellness retreat at home for complete rejuvenation. Since staying home with the kids, I’ve found I need to make sure I spend my time alone wisely. Being susceptible to others’ emotions leaves me drained. I am still learning how to protect myself energetically. Dreaming of escaping to a spa has been on repeat in my mind. I knew it wasn’t in the cards to go in the center of a pandemic. I came up with the idea that I would be free of all family duties for 24 hours. Thankfully my husband was on board. I didn’t like the name “vacation” day because it projected that I binged on tv and other mindless activities. At first, I would try and have one of these days every couple of months. However, the idea of having 24 hours that didn’t revolve around the wants and needs of others was euphoric. You can have your wellness retreat right at home for complete rejuvenation The first few vacation days, I would work like crazy. I took pictures for my website, made recipes, or learned ways to get a blog designed and running. After that, I would take a nice bath, but I was usually working at that time too. It didn’t make my husband very happy that I felt burnt out after giving me time to myself. So then came the mindless scrolling and eating foods that don’t make my body feel that great. I felt somewhat rested, but I didn’t feel great about the time spent. I would lose track of time. Then I would think there was no point in only spending a small amount of time on my work stuff. When I finally get time alone, I have a hard time balancing productivity and giving my body the care it needs I would think, “if I could only go to a spa, then I would give myself the care it deserves.” With Covid, I knew a venture like that was pretty far off. I also thought about my last two trip experiences (details in this article) and realized I don’t need to go anywhere to give myself the love and care it needs. You can have an at-home retreat for complete rejuvenation. So I have made this general outline of what I would do to feel equally rested and productive. Every time I am left feeling rejuvenated. The basis of this day has a devotion to cyclical nature. You don’t have to experience a cycle to benefit from this concept. The seasons of mother earth follow along with this idea as well. I have taken this day to be more on the restful side. I have also taken this day to be as productive as I can be without overdoing it. It is really up to you how you would like this time spent. Your wellbeing is your main goal, so try and focus on healthy eating and nourishing activities. Let’s call this day the Floductivity 24 hour Retreat: A wellness retreat at home for complete rejuvenation Here are the rules for a purposeful day to yourself: Communicate with everyone in your household this is a time you shouldn’t be disturbed (yes, even your kids) Keep your phone away (or on do not disturb) Avoid numbing food/activities such as alcohol, junk food, & media (unless it pertains to your productivity) Here are some tips that help me stay on track for my day to be well spent: Do what feels good to you that is healthy If you make a mistake, then acknowledge and try again (don’t give up) Don’t watch the clock but listen to your body, be sure to check in regularly No chores (my rule since I am at home all day so this might not apply to you) There are suggested times to do certain activities, but you are in charge. That means sometimes we keep doing an activity that feels good and have to leave behind something else. Let’s think of this day as growing your self-love & self-investment bank account. Each activity you do earns a check, but the check can’t get deposited without your signature. The way you get the check signed is to embody the activity fully. Doing the activities to check it off your list is not what to do for this day. It won’t grow your account in a way that makes a big difference. Each time you devote 24 hours to your wellbeing, you will bring totally different activities and experiences. So be open to trying new things. Maybe cook a new dish, try a craft you’ve always wanted to try. If it doesn’t turn out the way you wanted, learning from it will add to your self-love account. You can make this at home wellness retreat for self-care, productivity, or a mix of both If this day is to embrace what feels good fully, I have a simple method to allow yourself to enjoy the day. When I am doing an activity, I check in to see where it falls in the 1-10 joy scale. 7 or higher I keep doing it 7 or below, I move on to something else. You can decide this day is to be productive then understand that checking in with yourself is very important. Also, it is important to understand that what we think we need to get done may shift into something else. Anytime I have stood strong in what I thought I needed to accomplish, it never turned out as I wanted. When I’ve allowed the chance to pivot into another work project that felt more aligned, it exceeded my expectations. Be open to what may come up for you I didn’t think being stuck in a house would allow this to work. My husband would get the kids and dog out of the house, which was great. It only bought an hour or so which is better than nothing. To be honest, at
Self-Investment For Growth
People tend to describe self-investment as putting time, energy, or money into themselves. There are many things we can do that will bring something uniquely beneficial from it. Even if we invest time into something and don’t like the experience, we learn that because of that experience. When we actively do things that put energy into our growth; as a result, we bring out the best in ourselves. Self-Investment is important because it’s the key to growth I thought I had been investing in myself the last few years despite the fact I was working out and eating healthy. Nonetheless, those things helped in the process, but I realized it would take more than those things alone. It was like painting a house with a leaking roof. As a result, it made the house look better, but it didn’t fix the primary issue. Despite the urge for self-investment, but I never could justify spending the money on certain things. There was always an excuse attached to it. I was telling myself I wasn’t worth it. That can’t be good for anyone’s self-worth. As I have taken steps into the world of self-improvement, I know I will always reap the rewards when I take the steps. I’ve always learned something precious about myself in the process. I’ve found things I may love and things I may not. I have learned skills to help in everyday life and even saw the creative side I didn’t know existed. The part of my self-investment that became notably invaluable is listening to the most important opinion that matters…mine As part of this process, I have felt the pull to share with others the things that have helped me along the way. However, I’ve also been told that including outbound links for these resources isn’t smart. It drives traffic away from my site, and I’m providing free advertisements for people and websites that I don’t have an affiliation to. For this reason, I started this blog to help other people feeling overwhelmed with life. I want to inspire others to put the investment back into their well-being by showing ways to bring self-investment into their life There are four pillars that everyone needs to find their balance in life. Physical is what we do for our bodies. Working out, eating right, sleeping well, and understanding that what we put in our bodies is what we will get out of our bodies. Mental is what we do to listen to ourselves. Journaling, meditation, reading, hobbies, and resting are ways to encourage our mental growth. Emotional is how we better understand what we tell ourselves and how we can listen to our emotions. Breathing exercises, gratitude, affirmations, and journaling are ways to connect with our emotions. Spiritual is the connection we have to others. It can be through a social group, religion, community, and family. We can attend church, or circles and connect in prayer or meditation are ways to have a connection to our spiritual side. We can all balance these different areas in the ways that speak to us the most. Every day is different, and every person is different. As long as we take the time to listen to ourselves, we can hear what our mind, body, and soul needs. Some days I spend more time on my physical well-being, and other days, I work on my emotional well-being. Sometimes my meditation routine doesn’t cut it, and embodiment dance is what I need to spark all four pillars. Self-investment can look different for everyone Here are some ways to find self-investment: podcasts books courses meditation reflection setting intentions refine your skills manifesting dream or vision boarding getting physical networking eating healthy boundary setting taking breaks using an app that helps or teaches you declutter organize goal setting media detox planning for productivity avoid unhealthy foods try something new release excuses, patterns, habits, behaviors, and relationships that aren’t serving you It can be something that will strengthen your career. It can be trying a new hobby you’ve wanted to try. The goal is to bring growth to yourself. It can provide a better understanding of how we function as our highest self. There is no wrong way to take the time to invest in yourself, as long as you keep mindless activities out of it, including social media and tv If there has been something calling your name to try that will bring growth to your physical, mental, emotional, or spiritual well-being, this is your sign to take the first step. Start small and find free resources that can help you better understand what it may be. Therefore, if it still piques your interest, invest more into it, whether it’s time, money, or energy. When you find something that lights you up, then continue to explore. If you find that it doesn’t, find something else. Repeat. My most significant step in self-investment is cycle planning. The result of cycle planning helped me find my power in productivity while honoring self-care. It allowed me to find a rhythm in creating my business and keeping me grounded to support my family in their needs. Read more about cycle planning in my blog post HERE. In addition, I made a digital planner help other women to find ways to support themselves in their seasons of their cycle. Click HERE to go to my Etsy shop. Investing into your physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual well-being is something you will always get a return on. It’s up to you to find it and, most importantly, listen to how it affects your well-being. You are worth it! I created a FREE printable for you to keep track of your self-investment options HERE. With Gratitude, Cara
How To Avoid BurnOut
How to avoid burnout should be at the top of your list for self-care. I have always had the mindset to pick what I think would work and stick to it, even if it leads to burnout. I always had this self-inflicted pressure to choose and not give up, even when it inevitably drains me. Ways my burnout affected my well-being: Exhaustion My body & immune system shut down Lack of boundaries Little to no patience Holding on to the past and negative behaviors Not giving myself the space and time I need to thrive Not being the best version of myself Taking frustrations out on others and many other difficulties But here is the thing, that’s what set me up for failure at the end of my career. The signs were all there for me to move on to another chapter of my life. But, unfortunately, I was too set in my ways to see it right in front of me. So I hope I can share how to avoid burnout with you. I had a slight feeling my career was missing something but not enough to take significant action. My body was giving me signs that it was time to move on. Constantly being sick, hip problems, and sometimes I could barely move my wrist after a day of work. I would get off from working all day and have zero energy for anything. This way of living made me sad for my children. Unfortunately, society has conditioned us to think that we should feel this way after getting off work. This type of life is not what I want my relationship with work to feel like. Setting healthy boundaries is critical in how to avoid burnout The Covid shutdown is when the true feelings of my job came to life. I wasn’t feeling guilty that I wasn’t working because most people had to stop working during that time. It was the first time in my life since I was 14 where I just allowed myself to embrace the moment of now. It was like I was finally free. Here is the thing though I LOVE my clients, coworkers, bosses, and place of employment, so it was still a tough decision to move on. But, having no choice but not to work was the best thing that ever happened to me. I knew deep down I wanted to have a career that allowed me to work when I was most productive. But, unfortunately, that is practically impossible as a hairstylist. People book months in advance and won’t wait for your most productive time. I would plan better with some cyclical planning, but it was still not what I was craving. Another part of realizing I had to take a step back from being a hairstylist was the lack of boundaries and energy protection, leading straight to burnout. I was coming home from a long day with zero energy, and I didn’t know how to create that barrier. I would bring home the heavy energy my clients bring into my chair. Even worse than that, I would allow the energy from each client to linger on to the next. I always had this “I want to help my clients” outlook, but it turned into a “let me take on your energy” vibe. Until I stopped working, I didn’t realize how heavy that made my heart. We all process information differently, so have grace for yourself in the process One of the big things that have helped me learn more about myself has been Human Design. Reading my chart was mind-blowing, and I finally realized we are all built differently, and life becomes more manageable when we can honor that. It opened my eyes to how we all have different perceptions. Every person processes information differently. Our decision-making is different. We all need to take our route to get to where we want to be. Just because something works for me doesn’t mean it will work for you. One of the learnings from my HD chart was that my emotional center is wide open. What does that mean? I easily absorb other people’s energy. I have felt this my whole life but never knew how to explain or deal with it. When I walk into a room, I can feel sad, impatient, or excited about something. When a fight is happening, and I’m not involved, my nervous system still thinks I’m involved. The downside is most times, when the energy around me has an intense vibration, I can’t decipher if I am sad, angry, or hurt, or if it’s someone else’s energy I’m picking up. Having this center open is where my lack of energetic hygiene isn’t in my favor. But, having this center open can be a great gift if you know how to protect yourself. I’m still learning how to protect my space while supporting someone else. Essential steps in how to avoid burnout are to honor how you feel and listen to your body I’ve dealt with social anxiety my whole life when going into crowded spaces. Even if I know all the people in the room, it can be so overwhelming. Now I know it’s because there are so many emotions in the room my nervous system goes into overdrive. As I learn about this, I can find ways to protect my energy field before the event and even take a break to reset. An essential step I’ve learned is to honor how I feel and listen to my body. It’s taken practice, and it is a never-ending learning experience. Ways I tune into my body for finding myself: Meditate/Pray Energy Protection Energy Release Nature Walking Taking a 5-minute timeout (no electronics during this time) Breathwork Journaling Ocean sounds Check out my post on Self-Care for more ways to connect with yourself. For most of my life, I found ways to drown out all the energies and expectations (self-inflicted) by numbing myself with tv, social
Self-Care Tips And How You Can Improve Your Practice
What is self-care? I guess it can be a topic for discussion. Some people think binging on Netflix while eating pizza is self-care. Some people think it’s going to an expensive spa. I’ve been guilty of thinking both are self-care. The spa can be a way to nourish your body, but it isn’t at all necessary to achieve self-care. I want to give you some self-care tips and how to improve your practice. The last year has opened my eyes to what caring for my body can do. It has also brought to light the habits I engage in that don’t do well for my body. Sometimes those pesky bad habits sneak back in, like scrolling on TikTok for hours or indulging in sugar. I’m only human and know that sometimes we need to shut out the world and indulge. Self-care is taking small steps every day to take on new healthy habits. So back to what self-care is…. it’s in the name, caring for the self. Do you think eating sugar while watching mindless media is caring for the body? It doesn’t sound like it, and my mind and body never feel good after the fact. I either overeat or waste too much time when I could be doing something that makes me feel good. Here are some great ways for self-care: Turn your phone off Sit and honor your feelings and emotions A nice warm bath with some candles and music Walk-in nature Meditation Yoga Massaging your body with oil Journaling (check out my free daily gratitude journal) A whole day of healthy eating We should do self-care as a part of our daily life, not something we resort to when we can’t give anymore. My husband, kids, and I took a trip to Hilton Head for a long weekend over Mother’s Day in 2019. It was just a few weeks after my son of four months had to have surgery, and I was ready for some R&R! We were out to dinner on Mother’s Day, and my daughter’s finger got caught in a door. After spending the night at the ER and my daughter having to have emergency surgery, it wasn’t the best way to spend Mother’s Day. To make up for this Mother’s Day gone wrong, I had booked a yoga retreat at the Art of Living Center in Boone, NC, for the fall of 2019. In my mind, I needed this yoga retreat away to get the relaxation and rest I desperately craved. I was to the point where I couldn’t care for others until I gave myself the care I needed. Self-care wasn’t daily practice in my life. It started great, and the idea of the place is impressive. It had yoga, a spa, and nature. It wasn’t the luxurious type of spa that I had been to a couple of times before, but it had the peaceful vibe I needed. The first morning I woke up not feeling the best. I was in denial; I was getting weaker as the day went on. I was on my way to being pretty sick, but I hadn’t allowed myself to process it. I still did most of the activities planned, but by evening I had excused myself to get to bed early. I barely slept and woke up feeling terrible. I went to the yoga class and breakfast, thinking that it would help get my body moving. I planned on going for a hike after checking out, but I had no energy for such an adventurous task. I felt so bad I wasn’t sure I could drive a few hours back home, but I kept on trucking. During the drive home, my husband informed me both kids were also pretty sick. I felt so guilty I had been away, and now I had to tend to the kids even though I felt horrible. My daughter had an ear infection, while my son and I both had double ear infections. They were so bad the infection was in our eyes. Looking back at this time of my life, I pushed myself so hard to do it all; my body was shutting down. Now let’s fast forward to February 2020. We were taking a family ski trip to visit my husband’s family. We were bringing my nephew for his Christmas and birthday present. I didn’t have any relaxation expectations for this trip since I don’t ski and would be hanging back with my son. We were all staying at a rental property in the cute little town about twenty minutes away from my sister-in-law and brother-in-law’s house. I was happy to get the family time in. One afternoon I had asked to use my brother-in-law’s infrared sauna since it is highly suggested when detoxing my body from the mold. They were happy for me to use it and said to take as long as I needed. I don’t think I had done anything for as long as I wanted without a time stamp on it for a very long time. I took the twenty-minute drive to their house and played my favorite music. I even stopped off to check out the gorgeous views of the New River Gorge. That time in the sauna was the most impactful self-care I have ever done. I sat, I journaled, and I listened to music at separate times. I cried, prayed, and gave gratitude for every moment I had experienced in my life. I sat on their front porch and stared at the snow-covered trees. I experienced the “NOW.” So my point of those very different trips is that giving your mind and body the attention it needs is self-care. You don’t need a fancy spa or a weekend retreat to provide yourself with the care you need. You need to set the boundaries, make the effort and turn your phone