Cycle Planning and Why it’s Important
Cycle planning was something I never even considered starting doing in my own life, even though I have been a planner my whole life. Always thinking of the next thing to look forward to. Whether it’s a vacation, grocery list, or just what the next day will entail. Even my job as a hairdresser had me scheduled to the minute. I have lived the last nineteen years in the constant blur of not being truly present. What is cycle planning and why it is important Women have this potential to utilize their productivity to a whole other level when they begin to plan with their cycle. It sounds like it takes so much time and effort, but in the end, you will gain so much more energy and productivity when you honor your cyclical nature. It only takes a few minutes a day to begin, so what are you waiting for? Planning with your cycle takes patience and energy to start to understand your body and what it needs to thrive When we went into lockdown, I was already in the process of what I would call my awakening. It started in February 2020, and once I didn’t have a job to go to, I began to see and feel more clearly. My need to constantly plan was my version of numbing myself to not feel anything by taking myself out of the present moment. As of March 18th, 2020, my only job was to care for my family and myself. I decided that this was the time to do everything I “didn’t have time for.” Before then, I worked out, meditated, and journaled, but it wasn’t in my daily or even weekly practice. I finally showed up for me. All these things were for me and no one else, but my family got the benefits too. I became more present and was able to hold more space for those around me. I changed my mindset from “I SHOULD do this” to actually doing it. When you tell yourself you “should,” you are giving yourself the message that you aren’t important enough to take the time to do the things that are healthy for you. Each day I awoke with a commitment to show up in a way that was healthy for me. I told myself what I want to embody; I am healthy, strong, confident, and worthy. There is always time to invest in yourself and cycle planning should be apart of that investment Life can get hard to balance work and family. I’ve been there. Even when I was working, I still made sure I showed up for myself. Now that I see how much I can grown as a person and how I can show up for my kids. Going back to mindless living and just getting through the days is not how I want to live. I don’t just get through the days anymore. I show up and be present as much as I can. Don’t get me wrong sometimes my patience is thin, or things aren’t going my way. These are the days I spend a few extra minutes on myself. Here is a post about my burnout experience. It’s always easier to put on Netflix or scroll through social media, which numbs your mind. However, sitting with yourself in meditation or journaling will at least inspire growth, and to be honest, not engaging in electronics is so freakin hard! It takes practice to become comfortable with it. Once you see the growth and benefit that comes out of it, there is no turning back. So how do you show up for yourself? I can’t answer for you; only you can. I do know the key to success is growth. That means trying something new and investing in yourself, whether it’s free or it can cost money. It only works if you show up. Cycle planning is the secret to help women flourish in their life I started to educate myself on the different phases of our menstrual cycles and how we can best utilize our time and energy at each phase. My cycle is something I’ve had since I was a young tween but never knew the importance of how to use it to my advantage. A big part of my routine was journaling every night, and I began to track my cycle. I started to see I have times where I’m very creative, and other times I feel like superwoman because I’m so productive. My journal became my instruction manual. I saw the patterns and began to see how I could plan to make my life easier. If I didn’t watch for the signs to wind down before my menstrual phase starts, I would be down for the count with a pounding headache and no energy for anything. Paying attention to the subtle signs of your cycle can unlock the power within yourself I searched for the ultimate planner to help my planning/journaling needs, and I couldn’t find it. Finally, my husband recommended I get a digital planner. I started to look at digital planners and wasn’t sure what they were. So I researched. I found one helpful in my journey, but it wasn’t what I needed to thrive in cycle planning. The designer of the planner I bought released a course on making a digital planner from scratch. It was a bit more than I would spend on a course, but the idea of taking this passion I had and bring it to life brought so much excitement to me. After talking to my husband about the idea, we knew it was the next step in my new career. I started to create the planner I wish I had when I started to understand the importance of my cycle. I wanted a planner that made intentions and affirmations as a part of my planning. Resting my body when it needs rest and getting all the stuff done when my energy is
Productive Planning And Being In The Moment
I’ve always thought of mapping out and planning events as productive planning and being in the moment. It wasn’t until the last year did I realize my “over” planning took me out of the present moment and put my expectations way too high since I’d overthink it. There is a difference between planning for productivity and just planning to feel in control. Productive planning is a strategic thought process, which allows you to be fully in the moments around it In February 2020, I did a meditation that asked me to imagine my dream day. Not in a luxury vacation way, but how I wanted to spend my ordinary days. It was peculiar because it was me at home with my kids. At that time, I was working, and stopping my career of 19 years wasn’t ever something I considered. Normally productive planning would include saving money to prepare for staying home even to be considered, but sometimes life works in ways we don’t expect. I have always been a planner. Most of the time, I blamed it on my job since so many of my clients booked their appointments months in advance. Once covid hit and I had to reschedule my clients, it made my anxiety rise. Then I had to reschedule everyone again. I had people contacting me non-stop. It was flattering and overwhelming at the same time. Once I realized I had no control over the situation, the anxiety began to slip away. Once May hit, I felt I could breathe for the first time in a long time. I lived my days of summer 2020 being productive yet enjoying the moment. It was the first time in 19 years I didn’t have my day scheduled to the minute. I deleted most social media platforms and just focused on myself and my family. I decided that to bring the best in myself is not to let everyone else’s expectations of my life even be on my radar. Thinking about the past can lead to depression, and worrying about the future can bring anxiety. This is when my life indeed became mine to live because I started productive planning and being in the moment During the summer of 2020, I was in a routine that made me feel amazing. Then, finally, it hit me that this was my exact vision in my meditation. It was such a surreal experience. It still took me a couple of months to commit to the idea of not returning to work, but I knew deep down at that moment what I truly wanted in life at this time. I had always been accomodating to everyone else, leaving myself last. I always thought since I try to be considerate of others, they would have the same courtesy. It is not their job to set boundaries for me; that’s up to me to do. I’m not sure why it took so long to realize that most people aren’t wired that way. I often had my feelings hurt or was downright angry at the lack of consideration for my family and myself. But, again, it wasn’t their fault; my expectations were too high. I expected people to respect my boundaries even though I had none in place Understanding the way I think versus how others think was a hard lesson to learn, but I am so thankful for this lesson. I have allowed myself to live my life around what works best for myself and my family. I don’t believe in it as being selfish anymore. It is a standard quality of life now, and I don’t care what people think when I set a boundary that keeps my mindset healthy. When I would bend my life to accommodate others, I would resent them. No one wins in that scenario. The two years before leaving my job were very tough for me. I think I was waiting for friends and family to throw me a life preserver, but they were all so caught up in their own lives they failed to notice me. Some people saw, but what I needed, they didn’t know how to give. I kept laughing it off when things got tough and didn’t let the desperation show. But, again, I can’t blame anyone since I didn’t ask for help. I was expecting them to show up to the party when I didn’t send an invite. I was in a constant state of planning to try to gain control but it left me overwhelmed Life isn’t tit for tat. Just because I did something to support someone else doesn’t mean they want that type of support, and it certainly doesn’t mean they owe it to me. Sometimes we are in a position where we can help, and other times we are just doing our best. But, if we are in a place where we can make someone smile, that might be all someone needs. While so many situations caused such a rough couple of years, the lack of boundaries and the constant sprint in life pushed me under. I was in a vortex of pleasing everyone else that I never sat and listened to what I needed. How would anyone know how they could help when I wasn’t even listening to what I needed? So many moments in the last year have been light bulb moments. It took a mandatory shutdown to realize my constant planning was a coping mechanism. Never really living in the moment. Never really enjoying the small things around me. My goals have changed. My outlook on life has completely changed. I went from an over-planner to finding a flow in productive planning that brings out the best in my abilities to be in the present moment The difference in productive planning is that I have goals, to-do lists like before, but it’s about productivity, tracking, and reflection to be the best version of myself. I don’t commit to something until I know I am ready for
How To Avoid BurnOut
How to avoid burnout should be at the top of your list for self-care. I have always had the mindset to pick what I think would work and stick to it, even if it leads to burnout. I always had this self-inflicted pressure to choose and not give up, even when it inevitably drains me. Ways my burnout affected my well-being: Exhaustion My body & immune system shut down Lack of boundaries Little to no patience Holding on to the past and negative behaviors Not giving myself the space and time I need to thrive Not being the best version of myself Taking frustrations out on others and many other difficulties But here is the thing, that’s what set me up for failure at the end of my career. The signs were all there for me to move on to another chapter of my life. But, unfortunately, I was too set in my ways to see it right in front of me. So I hope I can share how to avoid burnout with you. I had a slight feeling my career was missing something but not enough to take significant action. My body was giving me signs that it was time to move on. Constantly being sick, hip problems, and sometimes I could barely move my wrist after a day of work. I would get off from working all day and have zero energy for anything. This way of living made me sad for my children. Unfortunately, society has conditioned us to think that we should feel this way after getting off work. This type of life is not what I want my relationship with work to feel like. Setting healthy boundaries is critical in how to avoid burnout The Covid shutdown is when the true feelings of my job came to life. I wasn’t feeling guilty that I wasn’t working because most people had to stop working during that time. It was the first time in my life since I was 14 where I just allowed myself to embrace the moment of now. It was like I was finally free. Here is the thing though I LOVE my clients, coworkers, bosses, and place of employment, so it was still a tough decision to move on. But, having no choice but not to work was the best thing that ever happened to me. I knew deep down I wanted to have a career that allowed me to work when I was most productive. But, unfortunately, that is practically impossible as a hairstylist. People book months in advance and won’t wait for your most productive time. I would plan better with some cyclical planning, but it was still not what I was craving. Another part of realizing I had to take a step back from being a hairstylist was the lack of boundaries and energy protection, leading straight to burnout. I was coming home from a long day with zero energy, and I didn’t know how to create that barrier. I would bring home the heavy energy my clients bring into my chair. Even worse than that, I would allow the energy from each client to linger on to the next. I always had this “I want to help my clients” outlook, but it turned into a “let me take on your energy” vibe. Until I stopped working, I didn’t realize how heavy that made my heart. We all process information differently, so have grace for yourself in the process One of the big things that have helped me learn more about myself has been Human Design. Reading my chart was mind-blowing, and I finally realized we are all built differently, and life becomes more manageable when we can honor that. It opened my eyes to how we all have different perceptions. Every person processes information differently. Our decision-making is different. We all need to take our route to get to where we want to be. Just because something works for me doesn’t mean it will work for you. One of the learnings from my HD chart was that my emotional center is wide open. What does that mean? I easily absorb other people’s energy. I have felt this my whole life but never knew how to explain or deal with it. When I walk into a room, I can feel sad, impatient, or excited about something. When a fight is happening, and I’m not involved, my nervous system still thinks I’m involved. The downside is most times, when the energy around me has an intense vibration, I can’t decipher if I am sad, angry, or hurt, or if it’s someone else’s energy I’m picking up. Having this center open is where my lack of energetic hygiene isn’t in my favor. But, having this center open can be a great gift if you know how to protect yourself. I’m still learning how to protect my space while supporting someone else. Essential steps in how to avoid burnout are to honor how you feel and listen to your body I’ve dealt with social anxiety my whole life when going into crowded spaces. Even if I know all the people in the room, it can be so overwhelming. Now I know it’s because there are so many emotions in the room my nervous system goes into overdrive. As I learn about this, I can find ways to protect my energy field before the event and even take a break to reset. An essential step I’ve learned is to honor how I feel and listen to my body. It’s taken practice, and it is a never-ending learning experience. Ways I tune into my body for finding myself: Meditate/Pray Energy Protection Energy Release Nature Walking Taking a 5-minute timeout (no electronics during this time) Breathwork Journaling Ocean sounds Check out my post on Self-Care for more ways to connect with yourself. For most of my life, I found ways to drown out all the energies and expectations (self-inflicted) by numbing myself with tv, social
Self-Care Tips And How You Can Improve Your Practice
What is self-care? I guess it can be a topic for discussion. Some people think binging on Netflix while eating pizza is self-care. Some people think it’s going to an expensive spa. I’ve been guilty of thinking both are self-care. The spa can be a way to nourish your body, but it isn’t at all necessary to achieve self-care. I want to give you some self-care tips and how to improve your practice. The last year has opened my eyes to what caring for my body can do. It has also brought to light the habits I engage in that don’t do well for my body. Sometimes those pesky bad habits sneak back in, like scrolling on TikTok for hours or indulging in sugar. I’m only human and know that sometimes we need to shut out the world and indulge. Self-care is taking small steps every day to take on new healthy habits. So back to what self-care is…. it’s in the name, caring for the self. Do you think eating sugar while watching mindless media is caring for the body? It doesn’t sound like it, and my mind and body never feel good after the fact. I either overeat or waste too much time when I could be doing something that makes me feel good. Here are some great ways for self-care: Turn your phone off Sit and honor your feelings and emotions A nice warm bath with some candles and music Walk-in nature Meditation Yoga Massaging your body with oil Journaling (check out my free daily gratitude journal) A whole day of healthy eating We should do self-care as a part of our daily life, not something we resort to when we can’t give anymore. My husband, kids, and I took a trip to Hilton Head for a long weekend over Mother’s Day in 2019. It was just a few weeks after my son of four months had to have surgery, and I was ready for some R&R! We were out to dinner on Mother’s Day, and my daughter’s finger got caught in a door. After spending the night at the ER and my daughter having to have emergency surgery, it wasn’t the best way to spend Mother’s Day. To make up for this Mother’s Day gone wrong, I had booked a yoga retreat at the Art of Living Center in Boone, NC, for the fall of 2019. In my mind, I needed this yoga retreat away to get the relaxation and rest I desperately craved. I was to the point where I couldn’t care for others until I gave myself the care I needed. Self-care wasn’t daily practice in my life. It started great, and the idea of the place is impressive. It had yoga, a spa, and nature. It wasn’t the luxurious type of spa that I had been to a couple of times before, but it had the peaceful vibe I needed. The first morning I woke up not feeling the best. I was in denial; I was getting weaker as the day went on. I was on my way to being pretty sick, but I hadn’t allowed myself to process it. I still did most of the activities planned, but by evening I had excused myself to get to bed early. I barely slept and woke up feeling terrible. I went to the yoga class and breakfast, thinking that it would help get my body moving. I planned on going for a hike after checking out, but I had no energy for such an adventurous task. I felt so bad I wasn’t sure I could drive a few hours back home, but I kept on trucking. During the drive home, my husband informed me both kids were also pretty sick. I felt so guilty I had been away, and now I had to tend to the kids even though I felt horrible. My daughter had an ear infection, while my son and I both had double ear infections. They were so bad the infection was in our eyes. Looking back at this time of my life, I pushed myself so hard to do it all; my body was shutting down. Now let’s fast forward to February 2020. We were taking a family ski trip to visit my husband’s family. We were bringing my nephew for his Christmas and birthday present. I didn’t have any relaxation expectations for this trip since I don’t ski and would be hanging back with my son. We were all staying at a rental property in the cute little town about twenty minutes away from my sister-in-law and brother-in-law’s house. I was happy to get the family time in. One afternoon I had asked to use my brother-in-law’s infrared sauna since it is highly suggested when detoxing my body from the mold. They were happy for me to use it and said to take as long as I needed. I don’t think I had done anything for as long as I wanted without a time stamp on it for a very long time. I took the twenty-minute drive to their house and played my favorite music. I even stopped off to check out the gorgeous views of the New River Gorge. That time in the sauna was the most impactful self-care I have ever done. I sat, I journaled, and I listened to music at separate times. I cried, prayed, and gave gratitude for every moment I had experienced in my life. I sat on their front porch and stared at the snow-covered trees. I experienced the “NOW.” So my point of those very different trips is that giving your mind and body the attention it needs is self-care. You don’t need a fancy spa or a weekend retreat to provide yourself with the care you need. You need to set the boundaries, make the effort and turn your phone