The Journey of Healing and Discovery | Interview with Rachele Kehler #24

NOTE: This podcast was transcribed by an AI tool. Please forgive any typos or errors. Rachele === Cara: [00:00:00] I love when I come across someone else, especially a guest on my podcast, which has this vision and how we don't want to be. Stuck in a box or follow a certain regimen to help those around us. It's more trying to figure out the specific things to help those people be the best versions of themselves. Rachele is a holistic coach, therapist and human design guide. She loves all things astrology and helping others understand their cycle as well i love this interview so much we touched so much on the same things that we feel empowered to help others with and i can't wait to get started New Intro: Welcome to Floductivity. A place to inspire and empower beings to embrace self-love and self-development. For an achievable balance of productivity. I shared different ways to come back to your intuition through spirituality. Self care, human design. Cycle planning. Wellness and everything in between. Thank you so much for joining me this week. If this is your first time. Welcome. And if you've been here with me before, thank you so much for coming [00:01:00] back. I'm so excited to join you in this journey as we learn together Cara: My next guest Rachele is a holistic coach and a human design guide that supports women into their soulful selves by taking them on a journey of healing and discovery with human design, astrology, recalibrating, the nervous system, emotional alchemy, intuitive goal setting, and many other somatic spiritual and mindset tools. Rachele works one-on-one with groups online and is passionate about helping women embody their truth, voice, and inner power. Check out her social media for upcoming events or for ways to connect with her. Welcome to the show. Rochelle. Rachele: Thank you for having me. Cara: Now I always love to dive in right to your favorite self care practices that are important to you. Rachele: Ah, well, for me, I would say my favorite is dancing because it. Brings me joy. And I usually do it in my kitchen while I'm cooking or we just being silly. but I try to look at self care holistically. So what am I doing for my mental, [00:02:00] emotional, spiritual, and physical health. And sometimes I, how much it is, self care for me and my brain to learn something new and to challenge myself to kind of deep dive into a subject. So I love doing that. Sometimes I follow those rabbit holes all the way down to the depths, which is really helpful for my mental health. And then I also lately have been really getting into paint by number it's just really like slow and methodical and little bit by bit. And it doesn't really matter what the end picture is. I just. Enjoy not looking at a screen for a while. And I usually listen to a podcast or audio book or something while I'm doing it. And it gets really meditative for me. so I would say those are probably like top three right now, but if I'm really luxuriating and needing some self care, like a candle it bubble bath game changer for the end of my week. Cara: I love all those. I find this is my favorite question of. What I ask my guests on the podcast, because it's all so different. And I just love to remind the listeners that you just gotta find what feels good to you. And [00:03:00] that is ultimately what self-care is. It's not just, check the box it's to feel in your body. Kind of get to a point where you can enjoy it. And I love the paint by numbers. Is it, like a kit that you order or do you just buy it at a store? Rachele: I first bought my first one at a store. And then, yeah, I just kept buying them online cuz I found them cheaper online to be honest and I've always enjoyed art and creativity, but sometimes I would notice my own ego get in the way of getting started with it because I thought, what I had in my brain wouldn't always translate onto the canvas and I would get frustrated with myself with that. And there's definitely a practice in doing that in and of itself, but it didn't gimme the intention of self care. It was more so like a therapy session for my own self talk when I was doing that. So with the paint by number, it just, I don't know, it just gets me a bit more Zen, and I feel like I'm kind of doing little bit by bit and it just feels really good. Like I almost envision it like, I think those [00:04:00] monks do those sand gardens and then they destroy it at the end. I think Buddhist monks do that. and honestly, I haven't ever kept one of my paint by numbers. Like I, when it's done, it's done. Cara: that's awesome. I wonder do you start it and do you end it in the same session or do you Rachele: no, they're usually pretty complex. I don't pick the easy ones at all. it's usually like weeks or sometimes months. cuz I kind of just work in births. This is the other thing. This is my intuition. I've learned to like tap into this part of myself from like not putting pressure on. Too much structure. but really following what feels good in the moment. I used to have, again, like judgements around what self-care and morning routines were supposed to look like. and now I just have a repertoire of a list of things and then I just follow what feels good. that's awesome. I would love to know what your relationship with your intuition is and has it always been something that you've had a connection? Rachele: You know, it's a yes and no response to that. I would [00:05:00] say as a child, I didn't really realize it was intuition. I didn't really realize how sensitive I was. I didn't realize what I was sort of picking up on always. And then.I grew up in like very rural small town, very religious. so it didn't really give me a lot of space to experiment with even the word intuition. Like it wasn't even part of my language growing up. It was more about faith and God and religion, as opposed to spirituality and intuition and listening to our body. Right. So it was really a game changer for me when I sort of got into my mid to late twenties and had a bit of an awakening experience and then another one of my thirties. And it just really helped me understand, yeah, what my intuition looks and feels like for me and realizing it doesn't have to and feel like the same as it does for someone else, because there was a part of myself that felt like. Oh, it has to be like what my friend's intuition looks like, cuz I [00:06:00] wasn't really shown that or allowed to really explore that because there was a lot of, structure in my growing up years in my household. so there wasn't a lot of room for me to be like, I don't feel like doing that. It's like, this is what's happening. And when I understood my feminine essence and kind of tapped into that, it was mind blowing to understand just the polarity differences. And then when I tapped into my human design again, it was like mind blowing to see how sensitive I truly am and where that comes from. And I was like, oh, this is why I'm was experiencing like health crisis, chronic pain, like all these things flare up. And I was like, mm-hmm okay. This makes sense. Now we're gonna like gently. Turn our intuition back on. I wanna ask, so when was it, was it in your thirties that you realized your human design had that connection to intuition? Yeah. I was working with someone and I was working there because I was in a health crisis. I was working at a health clinic and she was a manifestor and a human design coach. And she was sitting [00:07:00] next to me and she was like, Rochelle, you're not living your design. And I was like, why? I feel like I am like, I was half running my private practice as a counselor at the time. And I was working part-time in this health clinic to deal with the health crisis that I was, had a rose in my body. And she was. You're burnt out. You're tired all the time. And I didn't really fully know, like I knew what burnout was and I knew what she understood, but like when she kept saying generators full of energy and go, go, go, and you can work. And I was like, can't do that. What's wrong with me but it was really triggering at the time. And then I realized, oh, after years and years of sitting with it, understanding it, I was like, you know what, I'm not working with my ideal clientele. And you know what, working at that place, actually, wasn't my ideal alignment either. And you know what, maybe if I just go all into the thing that I love, things will start sorting themselves out. And that was a faith itself. And that was an intuitive piece of me just having to listen to what was best for my body. And [00:08:00] since then, like I, all of my health stuff has been very intuitive. I don't really follow what. Quote, unquote is normal for our holistic health, but I love working with intuitive people who kind of get it and understand it and trust it. because it's been such a game changer for me to really feel into that sacral energy and feel into that kind open, solar plexus energy, and feel into my body versus like get stuck up in my head about things and how it's supposed to look or should look. Cara: The expectations to, like it's I had heard recently expectations are just future disappointments and it's kind of Rachele: Mm. Cara: oh Yeah. you know, that makes sense. And then the majority of the time, it's the expectations that we put on ourself or this idea that we. Think this expectation is coming from other people. Like they expect us to have this practice or have this certain clientele. And when you could really take a step back, listen to your design, [00:09:00] follow your design. It feels like a life of flow. And like, I can speak for myself. I was like paddling up stream. Like I couldn't take a breath. And I was like, no, no, I've been hair dressing for 19 years. I'm going to do it until the day I die. And my body was like, well, if you don't start listening soon, that that day might be sooner than you'd want, because I felt like my body was going right down that path. And it it is, I feel like so many people are probably not living in their design if they are having reoccurring health Rachele: Oh, big time. Big time. What a wake up call for you to like follow that and listen to that. Cuz that's the other thing is you gotta live on that other side of like the fear of our own judgment, more than anything. It's not even judgment from others. It's like, what if I am picking the wrong thing? Can I trust myself? Is this intuition or is this fear or is this what voice is this? But it sounds like you had a pretty big wake up call. I also had a really big wake up call. Actually. I was like driving on my way to [00:10:00] work, doing fashion retail.I was in a management role. I was doing merchandising and design, very physical labor job. For over a month, I had been like, thinking like, is this really what I wanna do? I can't see myself working these retail hours for the rest of my life. It's not fulfilling. My boss was like, I wanna groom you to become the general manager. And I was like, this was before I knew my human design, which if you know your human design, that is such a generator. No, that I just did there. I was like, Ugh, no. I didn't know that this is me first learning to listen to my body. And so I was like looking into my options and. Life just sort of landed a few hints in my way. The universe was like, we're gonna hint at you. We're gonna hint at you. We're gonna hint at you for a month. So I met someone who went to this counseling and coaching school and I was like, Ooh, that sounds really engaging. And you know, I was like your blind spot. That's right in front of your face. That's what I had on cuz I was like, this can't be it. Like I can't go back to school. I don't know. I had these again, judgments around age and school and blah, blah, blah, long story short. I wasn't listening and [00:11:00] I kid you not a few days after meeting that person from that party that I was only knowing one person at that party by the way. And it was so serendipitous, but I was on my way to work start and stop traffic, getting a terrible car accident. And it left me unable to do my job, like physically unable to do my job. Rachele: So all I had was like over six months of. Physical pain and therapy and all these things to think about what I was truly wanting. And I finally just admitted it to myself of what I wanted. And then I applied for the school. And instead of having to do like three or four interviews interview one, they're like, yep. you're an ideal student. I was like, oh, that easy. And he's like, yeah, I don't need to follow up with more people. You're definitely in. I was like, okay. Okay. All right, I'm listening. And from then on there, I was like, my mantra was I learned my life lessons with ease Now, now that I know my human design, I'm a six two, all this stuff happened as I was in my Saturn return, going into my thirties. And now that I [00:12:00] know that I was like, okay, that makes so much sense. So much more sense. I wish it would've been a bit easier, but I don't know if you know, many, six lines, but it was like a lot of stuff happened pre 30, like all the big things happened. Pre 30. Cara: It's like, hopefully you got them like checked out of the way and you will have like easy breezy going in from Rachele: Yeah. I think a three lines sometimes maybe has a bit more of a, like a lighthearted experimental way of operating the world. That's like the universe being gentle with them. And then the six lines, like slam with trauma slam with trauma trauma, tra, and then it's like 30 you're like, is it I'm like looking behind and going, is it trauma coming again? oh, I learned that really easily. Oh, that wasn't actually that hard. Oh, okay. Okay. Okay. It gets to be easy. It gets to be easy. Yeah. I mean, I always say that there is, what's the lesson in it, saying like listening to your intuition, is this the right step. before I really embrace my manifesting generator, I would be like, this is it. This is the Cara: one thing I'm gonna do this one [00:13:00] thing, and then something else would come in and I'd be like, well, I don't know. And so it's crazy because I've taken a lot of courses. I've done a lot of things, to kind of build my toolkit. But as I'm like snowballing into what my purpose is supposed to be. It, it really makes sense because I needed a piece of that. I needed a piece of that. Like, that is how my design is as a manifesting generator is I am meant to be multi-passionate. I am meant to have my hands and all the buckets. And, oh, was I reading something? It's like, there's some people that are like nose in the book study one topic. and someone that's multi passionate is meant to bridge the gap, taking a couple things and kind of intertwining this thing and this thing. And I'm like, I feel like that's what I'm doing. I'm not sure exactly what my end game is, but I feel like I'm taking digital design and I'm adding the human design to it and natal chart. And I have this vision because I feel like [00:14:00] learning about your human design, learning about your astrology chart is very overwhelming for people. There's so many aspects to it. So I find that I'm always looking up something here and looking up something here, and it's like, I have this vision to like bridge it all in one place. And that makes sense why all these little tools that I've put in my toolbox may actually merge into something no one else would've merged.let you know. Rachele: well, I mean, I feel like we need to definitely stay in contact because like, literally exactly the journey I'm on right now for because I think I needed to learn all these therapeutic tools to support people in the reparenting process in that deconditioning process, because I don't know about you, but learning about my birth chart and my human. When our ego is in the way we can't see our full potential. And those two core pieces get to the soul of who we are without any personality, as a part [00:15:00] of it, influencing it. No ego is there anymore. And it can be really hard to digest because we might not be ready to hear that this is like, who are, who we are to authentic self, because we've been so conditioned by the world around us to believe we're something that we're not. And that happens how we were raised with our parents and their influence layering on top of it. And then if you don't have the nervous system tools, the body tools to really like integrate it and embody it, it just becomes cerebral. And I've found, I don't know if you find this, but I love reading information about both of those topics, but it becomes very. Oh, that's in one ear out there. Oh, I'm just an Aquarius. And it's like, there's so much more that there's so many more layers to it. And the depth that it can go is, is fascinating to me. So I love that you said that you're sort of a bridge for something. And I feel my idea mind is tapping into your idea of mind. I like, Hmm. What's percolating right now, even like the [00:16:00] potential of merging the two and also making it digestible for people while supporting them in the integration process. Because from my experience now, I learned my human design from a manifestor and I'm a generator. So when she taught me, I. Inundated with information. She was just informing me cuz she was living her design. And I was like, I do not understand what you're telling me. And she's like, well you can take notes. And I was like, great. and then I was like, can you follow along with the chart? And she's like, oh, would that help you? And I was like, yes, it would help me but like it's so normal for her to just talk it through and that's her and her design, which is beautiful. And then I years later have been like integrating it and working with a generator coach and a manifesting generator coach and to really helping understand it in different ways. And then also working with projectors, it's like such a game changer, but again, learning our own language and our own different ways and how we kind of absorb things It's like learning a new language when you get into birth chart stuff [00:17:00] and human design. So we gotta give ourselves patience. And think this is your goal to make it easily understood without being overwhelming to people and still being accessible so that they can have the transformation that they're looking for. Cara: Yeah. It is a lot of information,I get what you're saying, that people are fighting the idea of that's really not their design my life. I always felt so misunderstood that when I read my design and I understood my birth chart, I was like, that's me. I'm supposed to be like that. Like, I need to embrace, my Gemini moon, it's those things, those aspects where I was fighting it. And I just felt like I was trying to be a certain person to please other people around me that once I realized, like, that's how I'm built. And ever since I feel like all the things I desire are coming my way, did I wake up a millionaire? Absolutely not. But do I feel like my life has more ease and more purpose? A thousand percent it's like a [00:18:00] switch. And is it something you wake up and you're like, Ooh, I am going to be the best manifesting generator ever. No, it takes time. And I was telling someone this recently that I am so good about looking up other people's stuff. I'm so excited to share their design that sometimes I actually forget to look in the depths of mineand I was looking at a channel of mine and that it was ultimately like when you release control and you go with the flow, the things that are meant for you will come. Like it was ultimately like that. And I'm not having control, letting go letting the things, you know, come to me, it's a practice and I'm practicing as much as I can. And I had this moment a few weeks ago where I was like, I'm going to do this. I don't know what it is I'm going for. And no joke. Within two days of me having this like surrender moment was the answer. I didn't know what the answer was at the time, but as soon as I let go, it was like, oh wow. It could be as [00:19:00] easy as that. Just acknowledging it and understanding, try to take that energy and let it flow. You know, it's life changing. Rachele: yeah. Was that your 360? The mutation one? I only ask that cuz that's one I have part of and I have some people in my life that have that full channel and it sounds similar Oh yeah. I do have the 360. Rachele: Yeah, the joys of doing this work is sometimes then we forget that we have to learn through ourselves as well. And that might be a bit of your four line kind of talking to where you're like, what is everyone else doing? I wanna be a part of what everyone else is doing. Cara: I just feel so passionately about changing other people's lives about it, like, it has served a huge purpose and it's like, oh, I'll get down and dirty in mind in a bit.let me do this for them. And anyone that is open to the idea cuz you know, if I bring it up to someone that's not open to it, I'm just going to like repel them away from it. But the people that are open that I'll mention it to them and they come to me, I've changed. I feel like I've changed their life. And that's [00:20:00] my goal is for life to feel easier for them to feel like they're living their purpose. And I feel like when you're living your design, you feel that purpose. You're like, yes, I feel Rachele: Yeah. It gives people, I find such a permission slip for the things that they do that they don't realize is natural for them. And I think a lot of the, what you spoke to earlier around like just the people pleasing components and, and how you thought you were supposed to be, and then you read it and you're like, oh, so what I am doing is me, which is a big sort of push pull sometimes for people because. Sometimes the conditioning is so deep and strong and you can be societal conditioning as well. And then there's so much judgment and grief that comes up when you realize like, this is who I have been, and this is who I was maybe as a child. And then I got kind of told to operate in a different way for so many years. And so when they first kind of get a reading, it can go both ways. It can go sometimes the one [00:21:00] way of like, wow, thank you for telling me all the things I already know, but in a way that makes sense and a permission slip to like fully tap into my zone, a genius, a permission slip to be myself and on a contrast sometimes someone's like, well, I don't wanna be a generator. Those 70% of people are a generator and that's boring or I'm an emotional authority. That's so hard. It's and, and we have our judgements on it, but what I always kind of. trying to look at it from a spiritual perspective too, and go like, there is no right and wrong. Everyone has their special gifts. And I even remember, cuz I guess that's my Aquarius son coming out. But when my friend was like, you're a generator and 70% of people generators, I was like, what? I thought I was different, but that was also maybe my open identity center talking as well. I was like, I don't wanna be in a box and you're putting me in a box with 70% of the world, blah blah. But there are so many more layers to it. And I think we all are craving that uniqueness within ourselves and for someone to really understand that uniqueness within ourselves. And again, that's why I [00:22:00] love these two modalities cuz no one is the same. Even twins can respond differently to their design and to their birth charts, which is always fascinating to me. Cara: Yeah, definitely. And I think, you know, an aspect too, of just how you were saying, I always get to the I'm a generator and it's just like, well, we need you. We need you so much in this world. So don't just say just, you know, there's pluses and minuses to everything. So again, just embracing what you have, but, again, you won't feel like you have that Energizer bunny inside of you, unless if you're living your design and when you are fighting against how, what, whatever it is, whatever you're fighting against, you know, until you really wake up, I guess, I don't know. Just understand that. I just don't know if I've ever heard anyone say. I tried living by my design and life didn't Rachele: get easier. I think there's been that judgment of like, at first it [00:23:00] resonate with them, but I think again, it's that, I don't know, ego getting in the way and sometimes too, I think it's also our interpretation of certain words. Right? So if I were the first time I learned human design, when I was told that I'm supposed to be a worker B and Energizer bunny, those triggered me because I was dealing with chronic fatigue syndrome at the time. And I never had found that thing. Or even I'll even go one step further. It's not that I didn't find that thing. It's that I wasn't tapped in enough to know that my flow state is that thing when I kind of can work and forget about eating, I know that I'm in a good place and I don't mean that in a dangerous way, but like, if I can work and all of a sudden it's like five hours later, I'm like, what happened? Where did the, or if I can like be one on one with a client. When I go into a session, sometimes I'm like, oh, and then after the session, I'm like, yes, that was awesome. I was like, that is how I know that is what it meant to be doing. Cause it gives me energy. It helps propel me forward. and [00:24:00] I think the hardest thing to grapple with for most people is we want the world to be black and white, like always this or that and absolutes, cuz that makes our brain feel safe. And then we have to go and there's nuance in everything. And this is the way I would define this word. How would you define this word? Like even the way sometimes the human design textbooks are written. You're like, does that, what that means literally. And then you have. I don't know about you, but I kind of resource from multiple different people and places because there's so much room for interpretation and it's good in my mind to have all the different types of interpretations, because sometimes a word that's not triggering for me could be triggering for someone else. Like I told the projector of the day, you need to wait a little bit more before you get invited to share something. And she was like burst into tears and was like, all I do is wait. And no one invites me. And I was like, oh, whoa, I mean, this is, this is a thing for projectors too. Right. But the waiting word is really triggering. If you were that kid that didn't get your needs [00:25:00] met and sit and wait in one spot and be quiet and, you know, mom and dad tell you what to do. Right? So again, so much nuance in all of this stuff too. Cara: It is. Yeah. What's your, what's your suggestion to projectors in the fact that they have to like, wait, because I get that, they're like, I've waited, I'm waiting. I'm sitting here waiting Rachele: My suggestion is always, you visible first? Right? Cause no one can invite you if you're not making yourself visible. So my interpretation, a weight does not never ever put yourself out there and just hope and pray that someone will one day call you up and go, Hey, you should do this. that's a one version of an invitation, but I think there's always intuitive invitations that their own bodies get projectors can be very sensitive to that stuff. And that's part of their gift. I think also projectors can see patterns really well and see what's missing. And so if they just put themselves out there, like I've created this system and just put it available, and then people will start finding them and then [00:26:00] inviting them. And then the next step is that they're their guide or their coach or their course leader or whatever it is because they specifically chose the projector to be that. So the invitation is there. make sense? It does. Definitely. It's it's hard because I am very impatient. I say my life lesson is patience. I have to learn it every day and Having children have made me realize how much patience I need. And so it's hard for me being I have to wait for an invitation, but not as much as a projector does cuz a projector still needs the acknowledgement, and I don't have that. I can tell you what my interpretation from all this is, but I, I have a hard time interpreting it I don't know what that feels like. I don't know the full answer. So knowing that the intuitive part comes into it Cara: too. Rachele: and I think the authority comes into it too big time. Like a, environmental projector is gonna show up a heck of a lot different than a splenic projector than an emotional projector. Right. So, Or a self [00:27:00] projected projector like that self projected projector should have a podcast and just talk about all of their thoughts and ideas, and then guaranteed people are gonna listen, and then they're gonna go, Hey, I need that person's advice. And then they're gonna get that recognition get called out and smooth sailing. Right. But for the environmental project or the mental projector, it might take a little bit longer to know for themselves what the thing is that feels right for them. And if the invitation is correct for them, not to too the horn of another podcast, but there's someone called Alex can tone that has a podcast called your invited, which she's a projector, a six two projector. And when I heard her interpretations of it, she talked the nuance of it. Right. And I can talk the nuance of the sacral cuz when I first learned it from a manifestor, it felt very. Binary black and white. you have to wait until you have something to respond to. And I was like, okay, so I can never initiate anything. And that's how extreme it went in my brain. And I was working on understanding my femininity. So that was [00:28:00] also part of it. I was like, okay, well, I'm triggered by being the damsel and distress all the time and waiting around. But also I know that there's part of my feminine masculine and my feminine craves, like being pursued or so it is okay to step back a bit. and then I kind of started playing with what respond actually means. And I don't know if you've read this before, but for sometimes I realize that the weight to respond is also like, what is My own physical body responding to, and if my own physical body responds to something, then I can invite someone in to that experience. Rachele: And it may look like it's initiating contact, right. But that's my body responding in that moment to the thing that I want to receive. So in a way it's kind of hacking the response and my other hack for the response for projectors and generators and manifesting generators. Just ask if you can share something and then they'll say yes or no, and then you have something to respond to, like, you're invited then. Right? Like you say, may I share something with you that I'm having, I'm having [00:29:00] an idea. And then I go, yeah, sure. And then all of a sudden it's like, Here we go. Marker — Cara: Yeah.no, that definitely makes sense. I also a, another thought that came in with the people that maybe don't feel like human design or their human design doesn't resonate with them. It's just like anything it's finding the coach, the person thatspeaks your language. you don't just get a mentor to get a mentor, you get a mentor that's going to help you and how you do things. So finding the right way that human design can kind of help you propel you in whatever, is holding you back. I mean, I feel like as I'm diving into people's charts, I can tell before we even get started, if someone is unintentionally living their design, they've just had that. Self-awareness. They never had to see that chart. They know inside how their body works, how their intuition works, how that falls. And so it's cool to see people that have just done that, but I feel like it's a lost trait. I feel like [00:30:00] listening to your body has lost itself. And I know you brought up the whole idea of the feminine. And I say that human design and learning about my cycle saved my life. And my natal chart showed me where to heal. It was like understanding how my body was for my cycle. It connected me to my feminine and being like a recovering hustler, having the hustle mindset, having that piece of feminine. Helps ground me and be able to connect with my body at my cycle. Literally taught me how to be in my body. I did not know how to, I did not know how to experience a cycle. And so connecting them, it was like learning about my cycle and learning about my human design came around the same time. And it was just such a magical healing feeling. And I do feel like connecting to that feminine is a [00:31:00] huge part of it because it's a Rachele: yeah, and it's such an individual journey. I like what you said to like finding the person that really can shine light on your uniqueness versus their perspective of what's best for them, which ideally every coach does, but let's be honest, not every coach does that. But I'm curious if you don't mind sharing, what was it in your astronautical chart that was like such a game changer for you and understanding your cycle and healing that component. Do you remember? I should say that like the astrological chart didn't come until I connected with my feminine. so. How that happened first was I ultimately was cleaning up my diet, my products, but I was still on birth control. And I was like, Hmm, okay. I am eating and putting all things clean on my body, but I'm taking this thing and I think it's not helping me. Cara: And I try to [00:32:00] talk to my doctors about it and they just wanted to switch birth controls. And I just decided, you know what, we're gonna find another way. I'm just gonna get off. And so I was scared because I was on birth control, my whole adult life ever since I got a period. obviously while I was pregnant, I was not on it, but the majority of my life, and I was like, what, how? And I went on birth control because my periods were so bad. That's why I started on birth control. And so I just started to research on. How to have a period, how to nourish my body, how to get it back. Because you know, when you are on birth control for so long, You're putting these hormones in your body that doesn't know what to do with it. And so that's kind of where that came from. And then I realized I had to like feel in my body. I saw the patterns in my cycle and the phases, and it was like, I would get so down on myself because I would have so much energy one day and the very next day I would be depleted. And I never realized that just at the end of your fall, your [00:33:00] luteal phase, you need to reel it in before your period comes. You don't wait until you get your period to reel it in and rest. You have to start ahead of time. And so learning about that, so that's kind of how it connected me to my feminine. My chart is very masculine. And so I think that's why that was such a healing factor for me. And then where the natal chart came in, I know I'm meant for Rachele: Mm-hmm Cara: how can I use my natal chart to figure out my purpose? And so that's where my natal chart came in and figuring out like what I'm supposed to be doing for work, how I'm supposed to overcome, social media, because I've always hated it. It's never brought out the best of me. And so trying to figure out how to be seen, has ultimately come from picking apart my natal Cycle planning AD: Are you looking to have a more easeful and purposeful life? Well, planning around my cycle has changed my life. And I know with this concept, it can help other women take on the test. At the right times for more [00:34:00] productivity. I created a free cycle planning principles to help guide you. Understand your cycle. For your work and home life. Visit Caradempsey.com/cycle. Or check the show notes. Rachele: Wow. Yeah, I don't know if this happens to every woman, but I feel like there's a moment where something clicks that it can pass them by if they're not aware of it where this like, something is often, I need to change that thing. And I don't know what that thing is, and then usually that's an invitation to step into our feminine and we all have access to this innately, intuitive thing, our body and our cycle. Right. And, you know, I love that you spoke to that piece because that's something that I always talk to with my clients as well. And so many women have judgements on about like, well, I'm emotional authority and this and this and this. And I can't do this during this time. And I was like, It's your barometer for your month. So you plan around when you know that you have the [00:35:00] energy, you not have the energy, right. And I don't know if you felt this, but a lot of people feel a lot of anger or grief come up when they realize the impact of birth control had on their overall health. I've had clients tell me that they've become suicidal with certain times in their cycle because of the birth control. I've had clients tell me panic attacks and severe depression, because the only thing they're left on is birth control. And since they were 13, that's all they know. And they have. Education on how to like understand and look at their cycle and track it so that they know when they're more fertile and not fertile. Like these things in theory should be common knowledge, but they're not. And when we start like tapping into that part of self, and I don't know about you, but for me, when I started tapping into my feminine energy, before I even knew my design, my feminine energy really helped ease my period pains because I was like [00:36:00] suddenly paying attention to my womb. And this part of myself that was like shut off for so long. I grew up very much in my masculine most of my life until like mid to late twenties. I would describe myself, even though I was feminine, I was operating from a place of more masculine, grounded hold space for others, like, you know, planning I wasn't in flow. I was in structure and so needless to say extreme, extreme periods all the time, growing up for myself as well. And so when I learned about the feminine component, it did shift my period. The other game changer was the human design part, because again, our sacral energy is very related to our wo space as well. And so when we learned to tap into that, it's a game changer. And then for me, I had to dive a bit further and go like, again, this is where my intuitive body kind of spoke to me. And I was like, something is deeper and it's kind of rippling into all these components. And [00:37:00] so the service level is hormones, but that's never the root, it's never the root of something. And so I had to kind of go a bit deeper and dive into that and I've been healing my physical body and I realized like, oh, wait a second. It's been like six months and I've had. No cramps. What's that about? Like, and it's very stress related, obviously as well. It's very self love related obviously as well, but it's very also listening to my body and learning. What is the right thing to look at and what is the root cause mixed with all the other things. Like, that's why I call myself holistic coach, because I can't label it as just one thing. It's you have to look at the whole human, the whole picture. That's why I also love human design. And astrology, cuz you kind of get the big picture overview and then you can narrow in and go this aspect. This part, this is a contributing factor as to why. Cara: I mean, it's all connected. It's all connected. I mean, literally,the human design chart, like literally there's gates and channels, all connected. And, I think I just did not realize, like [00:38:00] my intuition was literally connected to my cycle in the fact that when I wouldn't listen to those signs, that my winter was coming and I would push through, then I would be left depleted. I would have horrible cramps. I couldn't get out of bed. And so I encourage any woman who deals with reoccurring issues around their cycle is give it the space, give it the attention that it needs. And I'm not saying that your issues will be magically healed, but. Just that little practice might change something and did for me, because I went from very uncomfortable periods. It was very hard. Like I would be depleted and it's like, if I just give myself 10, 15 minutes, when my body's saying, Hey, take a moment. Rachele: mm-hmm Cara: Then I still have this energy. And when I push through it, then my body's like, ha ha. Now you're down for days. So what's worth it to you. Not being able to give yourself that 10, 15 minutes to rest and then [00:39:00] be miserable for the next few days. So it's like tapping inside, understanding your body, stop looking externally for those answers is really inside of you. Once you learn how your body functions, it's so powerful, we need support all sorts of ways. but in general it always comes Rachele: yep. It's good to awareness and tools and that support. And at least this is the way I coach with my clients. I was like, you know, your answers better than I do. I'm just here to give you a perspective that might support you in uncovering what the answers are, which I have to take my own ego to the way. And I check my assumptions with my clients and I'm like, okay, this is completely different than what I thought it was gonna be. But that's the coolest part is it's always mind blowing for me to hear other people's way of getting to that aha experience for themselves. Right. And, you know, as you were sharing about how important it is to like be in that intuition, and that was such a key. With your cycle. it reminded me too, of the time to also recognize if [00:40:00] there is any tension or trauma stored in the body there as well, because that's such a sensitive area for girls and for women. And sometimes we brush past things like it's no big deal and we kind of push, push our bodies to the limits. like you just said, like that push really knocks you down for days afterwards. And really all it takes is a little bit of rest. sometimes this is just a nap on the day before you start your period, right. Or sometimes it is not judging yourself for eating an entire chocolate bar on day. One of your period. like, it's like giving yourself grace and knowing like, Just cuz you're on a workout regime and you're doing your thing on certain part of your cycle does not mean it's gonna be for the whole month. And I think there's so much pressure to be consistent and consistent is the key to, to results. And I'm like, is it though, like maybe consistent with self love and consistent with grace and consistent with like self-acceptance. But otherwise, like if you put yourself in that kind of rigid, this is the way it always has to be. And this is what I always do. [00:41:00] There's no room for intuition to be a part of it. There's no room for listening to your higher knowing to be a part of it. There's no room for that awareness to pop in or that hint to be seen or that universe to go like, hello? Hello. It's like, you're not even open to seeing it cuz you're not available for it to happen because you're just going through the motions then. Yeah. I think that's hard because I used to wanna control everything. And honestly, the opening thing for me was like, COVID happening that's I needed that for myself. And I hate that so many people had to suffer around it, but for me, I didn't know how to stop planning. I didn't know how to stop and feel. you know, I had a moment, like, I'm gonna control this. I'm gonna reschedule all my clients. And then I had a moment where I was like, I don't know what's gonna happen.I'm just going to go with the flow and see what happens. And that's when life was like, Hey, guess what? You're not going back to being a hairdresser. it was that moment of coming through. But if you don't give that space for the intuition to come through, if you're [00:42:00] trying to control everything, if you're trying to plan everything, you know, you're blocking yourself from flow of Cara: life. It doesn't have to be that hard. Right. Rachele: Yeah. And it also, to there's a bit of anxiety wanting to understand what the outcome is before you actually allow yourself to experience the thing. And especially as a manifesting generator, you're kind of meant to put your foot in along the way and decide every single step. Is this still a yes. For me equal? Is this still a yes for me? Yep. Is still a yes, me. Nope. Okay. Well guess we're turning around and going back home. Cause it, maybe wasn't a thing then anymore, right? And I think COVID was a good wake up call for many of us, a transformative time where we kind of had to face our fear and then go, and how are we gonna transmute that? And how are we gonna learn from it? And I think to, if someone doesn't have a spiritual practice or have that sort of awareness, that there is sort of intuition mixed in with sort of a belief in something bigger than yourself, it can be really tricky to feel safe in just, you mean, I can just [00:43:00] trust my body. Like I can just do what. Like, who's the voice talking to me. Who's where is that coming from? Right. Andyou can't really explain it. It's just a inner knowing and it's redeveloping, that self-trust muscle. And that's, I think where, you know, I love looking again at the design chart, cuz you can see the areas where someone might be predispositioned to be kind of overly influenced by the people in their lives and trying really hard to operate that same way when they're just not and that's okay. And to also just give ourselves a bit of like self forgiveness and going like, oh, I just don't operate that way. And even though I was raised by someone that does doesn't mean I have to do it the same and finding again, that self-trust muscle I think is really, really key Cara: self trust and honoring that we're all built so differently. So something that works for you might not work for me. And we all are supposed to go on our own path, I do strongly believe that, but I do also know if people kind of figure it out, how they best. Whether it's with their human [00:44:00] design, whatever the tools that they need, they'll really be able to move mountains, figure out, like how they're meant to make a Rachele: mm-hmm mm-hmm yeah. Yeah. You gotta find what works for you and also the language that clicks with you this is also the part of like, permission to just take the time to honor what works for you as well, because I think in my experience,I was never taught this, but I didn't feel I was allowed to have needs. So I lost that inner voice for a really long time. That's why it's so important for me to help my clients find that again, because you know, I grew up with a sister with special needs and she was younger than me. So like to the point where we didn't really know if she would survive some days. so logically obviously her needs matter really a lot but for a young child, me observing that, I go on going like, well, I'm just gonna be adaptable and manage and settle and be okay with whatever I get handed to me being grateful that it's not that bad. And then when I hear a [00:45:00] generator supposed to be like satisfied and joyful and high vibing, and I'm like, for me, I was scared to go up there. because I was scared. When's the bad thing gonna happen? When's it gonna get taken away? I'm not allowed to be in that place of pleasure and satisfaction and joy. I need to be just be happy with what I have and yeah, in a way sometimes that feel good was scarier than the feel. Nothing. If that makes sense. Cara: Yeah. I mean, it's hard, I'm sure you going through that growing up, cuz it's just like, but I'm a child too. You know what I mean? and just not being able to have your needs met. but just being the youngest, I feel like some people have this general idea of the youngest always being the baby and being taken care of. But you know, my sisters always had to travel for their soccer and it was always revolved around their stuff and I was always tagging along. So it's that. Like, I wanna, I wanna do this, what I want. And so coming to a point where I had to get to my late thirties to say like, this is what I want. Like, I [00:46:00] have a say, you know, like I have a family too, and it's hard because I didn't do that before. And I'm sure my family's like, whoa, you're not supposed to have needs and wants and opinions, butknow, I'm sure for you as a child, it's you feel it? And you probably have this thing of like, I can't even say anything about it, Marker — Rachele: yeah. In a way, like when I was first on my like self discovery journey. I almost didn't even allow it to be there because I was like, how can I be even allowed to have a need? Because I won't die. If my needs don't get met, but my sister might, and this is how a kid justifies it in their mind. And then I'm like, she didn end up passing away when I was 16 and she was 14. And it didn't change though. I operated though, like I still was so used to cause she was born when I was nearly two, you know, it was just so ingrained that I didn't even know what my needs were. I just knew when they weren't being met. And then I didn't know how to communicate that forward [00:47:00] and naturally attracted a lot of people who were needy or, you know, kind of taking and I felt taken advantage of a lot. And I was unaware of what the root of that was. And it was that voice of like, I'm not even allowed to consider. Myself first because other people have bigger things. And I think that's also a bit of the, like, I have a wide open solar plexus and a wide open ego in, in my chart. And I think that those two components have been my biggest life lessons and like noticing when I'm quickly trying to adapt to the emotional tone of the room. And then I'm like, wait a second, Rachele, you're losing your voice. And quickly when I'm noticing like myself sort of try to please everyone and say yes, before I'm ready to say yes. And, and like, oh no, wait a second, Rachele maybe you shouldn't commit to that thing cuz you don't have the stamina right now to follow through with that. Or you're trying to prove something to someone or try to get them to like you I love that human design gave me a tool to understand that from another [00:48:00] layer, in addition to my therapeutic tools of understanding inner child stuff and attachment wounds and our nervous system regulation stuff. but I find sometimes those components want to lead people to diagnosis instead of understanding best operating. And so sometimes therapeutic tools can make us stay thinking what's wrong with me versus like, what are my strengths and my gifts and what can I learn? And so that's again, why am I focus recently just shifted to human design, cuz it felt like it was way more empowering for people and that's the way that I wanna operate. and also noticing why I was so sensitive to the needs of everyone in my home. My brother and dad were emotional authorities. And so, and my mom's a splenic manifestor. So it was very different to see that sort of navigate in the household. now that I know what I know, I'm like, oh, that's why, oh, that's why. Rachele: Yep. No, I don't move as fast as my mom when she's ready to go. I just won't. And I also don't move as slow as my dad when he's [00:49:00] not ready to go yet. Right. So it's this like dance of different relationships and, understanding ourselves from that perspective has been so eye opening Cara: Yeah, definitely. You mentioned, someone was always dealing something worse than you, so you never really gave your space to feel heard and seen. And I think that was a certain. Messaging the upbringing. I felt like when I had my son life was really tough for me, but I saw other people having a lot worse off time. And I never gave myself the permission, the energy, any of it to heal from what I feel like was, you know, a traumatic birth. It might be a little tea for some people, but it was still, you know, hard for me. And just everything after that, I just never really felt like I had the right to be like, I'm going through this. This is tough. And so then you get like resentful, you get that resentfulness that you're holding onto. Like I went through this, but. I wasn't even allowing [00:50:00] myself to be heard, be seen in that. And I think that was a huge part of my healing was to acknowledge what I went through, how it was hard and that yes, there's people that have worse off things, but that doesn't take away the pain, the anxiety, the depression, whatever I was going through. Like I still went through it and you know, we all are probably going through something and it, we have to give ourselves the space and the love and the healing to be able to go through it. Whether it's big, little mini, it doesn't matter. You know, Rachele: mm-hmm and not only that. Everyone has a different window of tolerance. Everyone has a different level of capacity. And if we start judging ourselves going, well, I shouldn't be so sensitive about this thing, it's a silly example. But you know, in my intake forms, I often talk with my clients and I'm like, if you stubbed your toe and from now on, you're scared of coffee tables. Like I know it sounds ridiculous, but that can be as big as someone who had a car accident and was in a coma for nine months. Don't judge how it [00:51:00] impacted you. If it impacted you, any impact is an impact and where sometimes to a fault, our biggest minimizers in our own gas lighter. Sometimes we're like, I don't deserve to talk about this there's always someone else. on the outside, appear to have it worse, but in the contrast, there's also someone else out there who actually maybe does have it worse, but they also are like, but life is great and have that mentality too. and so I think when we give ourselves a bit of compassion and going, like, I don't need to have a big thing to make it worth mentioning for it to be considered a trauma, to be considered like literally anything that impacts her nervous system is a trauma. Anything that disregulates, it is considered a trauma in my opinion. And so if we look at life that way, That's just a point in time when you notice something there's this a glitch or a blip, and then we can move the energy through if it's small, if we're aware and catching it in the moment. But if we're not, it's like it gets stuck in our body. In our nervous system. Like for me, I manifested a lot of sickness in order to get [00:52:00] attention. And like, now that you know that I had a special needs sister, like no kidding. I did that. I did that because the inner child me was like, well, this is the way that you get people to help you and take care of you. This is the way that you're special. This is the way that you have permission to set a boundary and say no, as opposed to always saying yes. And that's how it manifested in me was like through physical health stuff. And then I was like, wait a second. slam on the brakes a little bit and slow down and go. It's safe to take care of me first. And to really reassure my inner child, that there is no judgment around what. Impacted me versus what impacted someone else there is no way to measure it. Absolutely no way to measure it. Even if you're sitting in the room with two non emotionals and an emotional, sure. An emotional might feel something in a different way than a non-emotional would, but those two non-emotional might experience that emotional authority from a very different lens. And if we generalize again going, this is always what happens, and this is always what happens. There's no room for [00:53:00] individuality then and there. And so it's good to have a base. And then where do we play in that? where do we kind of play in that world of of coming back to the nuance of it all Cara: yeah, yeah. I mean, one of my biggest things about my human design, the first thing that got me was that my emotional center was open and not realizing how I would get so emotional about things, but I never knew how or why or what, and that I would absorb those emotions from those people around me. And now if I get heated or whatever, and I can take a step out of the room and take a breath and say, is it mine? Is it theirs? But it's just crazy that it's taken me, you know, 30. I'm 39 now. So 37 years when I started looking into my human design to realize, oh my gosh, no wonder it was so confusing to me that I would get so emotional about something that I didn't have emotions about, but, setting those energetic boundaries. Now, when I'm going into places and being [00:54:00] around certain people has saved me in that. And as a hair stylist, I mean, how much emotional baggage I brought from one client to the next to the next, clients, if you're listening, I'm so sorry. You know, like, I love to get deep down in it with that, but I didn't know how to rid that energy and not pass it on to the next. And so, it's so complex, but just knowing those things that can help you through and, step into more of who you wanna be. It it's really Rachele: mm-hmm yeah, I think too, I don't know if you've observed this before, but the dynamic between the non-emotional and the emotional authority is, is such a interesting dance. Really. I have mine completely wide open, and I have a lot of emotional authorities in my life and it's kind of made me realize that part of my dance is to just mirror and amplify. And sometimes I'll be crying, someone else's tears for them. And then all of a sudden, once I start doing that, they get their aha moment and then[00:55:00] it kind of subsides. But I was so shut off from that part of myself that I was dissociating and not even realizing how empathic I was to be safe. And then mid thirties is when I started to get into my human design. And I was like, oh, and then everything felt really sensitive. Like I was like, oh my gosh, I'm crying all the time. I'm so tender and fragile. And I was like almost overly identifying with it. And recently. I've sort of just had my own realization with it and giving myself permission that I can choose to be a sponge or I can choose to be a calendar or a S or whatever you wanna call it. Right. Like the thing that the past did gets drained from, and for me, I know that I'm not gonna actually ever not in a disempowering way, but I'm just gonna feel, and I'm not gonna judge that. I used to be like, I have to be steady and not feel because that's me in alignment, but that's just me, but I'm by myself with like, literally no one around me. but let's be honest if I'm listening to music, I'll start crying. [00:56:00] Cuz who knows if that touches something in me. Right. So. I can be okay with it passing through me, but I don't need to identify with it or carry it as mine or think it's my job to change it or fix it or it for someone else. Cara: Yes. That needs to be my reminder, because I would hold onto it. I would not be able to sleep at night because that emotional attachment that I would have of this client telling me about their situation, they're going through. Like, I would feel so deeply for them. And I've also heard it as like the screen door, you know what I mean? Like shut the screen door. Like you can listen and show that you're there, but you know, it's streaming out attaching to you ultimately. yeah, I didn't realize that we both, I have like one little unconscious gate in my emotional center, but I'm ultimately wide open, but you are Rachele: mm-hmm Cara: your emotional center is Rachele: yep. That's why I get my clients to feel things. Cause that's just what they do when they're with [00:57:00] me. my, what you just shared though, reminds me of the importance of an energetic practice around either protection and or grounding and releasing at the end of the day. And I think it's really important for everyone to do it. No matter your design, because we are all sensitive human beings in our own, right. In our own way. And you can be in a room of people and there could be someone having a tough day and it gets kind. Latched on to you. And you're like, why am I carrying this heaviness that I didn't know where it came from? Well, that's S spatial attack of negative energy. And that happens sometimes to us. the most empowering thing we can do was then clear and cleanse and ground, because I would imagine maybe this is going to let your mind at ease. I would imagine a lot of your clients just needed to vent and they felt a lot better after they vented. And they didn't need you to solve a problem or do anything on their behalf or take on their feelings for them or fix it.[00:58:00] Cuz you were fixing a problem. You were fixing their hair. That was the problem that you were there to fix. Cara: It's true. Rachele: the kindness That you offered was a listing ear. But I don't, I highly doubt that they're like. She's gonna solve all my problems for me when I tell her these things, oftentimes the most healing thing for people is just to be listened to. And I think we forget that because the non-emotional in us wants to fix the feeling, cuz we're so uncomfortable that I'm like I'm sitting in this discomfort of this, this emotion and I wanna make it go away. And so to make it go away, I fix it. But I don't know if you've dealt with many emotional authorities, but when they're in their wave, you cannot fix it. You cannot get through to them. They will not hear you. They are in that wave and you can choose to dive in it with them or you can step back and observe and give them space and let them feel their feels and just hold space rather than get consumed by the tidal wave. that makes sense. Yeah. I have a few people that,I'm trying to explain to them, like, you need to make sure you don't make your decisions when you [00:59:00] are on that in the storm. Wait until it I did actually make an energy clearing meditation, you know, a lot of what I'm talking about and doing it's like, what did Cara the hairdresser need? Cara: And so I made like a five minute meditation that I was like, you know, if I had a client that it felt heavy. If I was doing it before work, after work, it's quick. It's easy. So if you guys are listening, check out my energy, clearing meditation, I have it in mind because I use it all the time. I wanted something that you could clear the energy because it's something we forget to do, but it is having energetic. Hygiene is a thing. And it's changed my life, realizing that we all are energy and, people that have that heavy energy they're not aware of it. I was one of those people, but once you become aware, you're like, oh, okay. No wonder I would repel certain people. You know what I mean? Cuz it was just like I Rachele: mm-hmm Cara: it. Rachele: yeah, this is the thing I always give the person the benefit of, they don't give them grace as likely they don't know their [01:00:00] impact. And then it's up to us to like, go like now, what do I wanna do with that energy? And that's my response and this is the hard part in life sometimes is like, those of us that are aware, dealing with non aware people, it can be quite challenging sometimes. But then yeah, it's my responsibility to, do something with it, to let it go, to release it, to not get attached to it as mine easier said than done. Sometimes I will say that. because oftentimes what upsets us is something for us to look at maybe a trigger in there as well. So sometimes it's a blessing and a curse Yes, it is.I did wanna chat I looked at a couple things on your astrology chart and so we have a couple things in common. So I Rachele: Cool. Yeah. Cara: my north node is also in Gemini Rachele: very Cara: and my Chiron is also in taurus so,your north node and Gemini is in your 10th house, Your MC is also in Gemini, which mine is in taurus. that part's a little off, I'll share a little bit of what yours means from my perspective Rachele: hear it. Cara: [01:01:00] is, your soul lesson is to be more comfortable collaborating and sharing ideas with others. We feel misunderstood, or don't think others will resonate with what we have to say. The more we can break down ideas into simpler ways, the more we can step into our greater potential, we will attract more of what we want in life. We need to find healthier ways to process and communicate our needs with it being in the 10th house, allow your talents to become recognized so you can make an impact in your work. So it's crazy because there were certain aspects that you were chatting about this that I felt the same about just the breaking stuff down into simpler ways. and I think both of us having a hard time processing and communicating our needs and that we both have figured out that is a part of what we need to Rachele: yeah, Cara: ourselves Rachele: yeah, yeah. wanna just add to that. I'm really good at breaking it down for other people, but when I'm doing it just as like my own blog, or sometimes I overcomplicate it, but when I'm explaining it, like in a [01:02:00] session it's like so streamlined and it makes so much sense, which that I think is a bit in my human design chart is like, it gives me something to respond to, but I don't know if you found this, but sometimes I get lost in the own weeds where I kind of can over complicate what I'm trying to explain something without literally being a back and forth with someone asking me questions. It's funny that you say that because I think I got so burnt out of my job from being one on one with people that I was like, I am never going to work on one, on one with people ever again. So I've been very, like, not budging, trying to figure out a way that I can create resources to help people. Cara: And then every, so often people are like, you really need to coach people,take what, you know, and help talk it through. And it's like, that is, that is literally how I am good about simplifying it. But it's when I try to get too much in my head and I'm trying to get it all down and, and do it. And so it does make me think that, going back to one on one work might [01:03:00] Rachele: mm-hmm Cara: even though I fought against it the last two Rachele: you know, I would be curious too, if it would look a lot different now that you know what you know about yourself too, and knowing also some of the tools that you have now that you maybe didn't have before. And also, this is the thing when I was counseling. Even though it was mostly what I wanted to do. I found it wasn't totally in alignment, but when I honored the fact that I'm a very empowerment based strengths based solution focused, I was like, that's a coach. And so as much as I can and how the knowledge to work with trauma, I love working with people who honor it and are willing to grow and find solutions out of it and not stay in the talk therapy place. So maybe the same is for you, it's like finding that shift into who you are working with as well. Cuz that was burning me out before and now when I switched to this, I'm like it's been such a game changer for me and my energy levels as well. Cuz of the way I [01:04:00] operate it kind of almost gave me a lot more freedom in a way than I didn't have before that I thought I should have. what stood out to me when you were kind of describing a little bit about that too, is like a perfect example is when I plan webinar or mastermind or an online workshop, I can get in the weeds really easily. And then I always do a Q and a in the end, and that's always my favorite part. Rachele: And I'm like, I should just do a Q and a of just like, this is a theme we're gonna talk about, come ask me questions. I will probably have an answer for you, or it will intuitively come out of somewhere. I don't know where I learned it, but I'm a six. So just trust that I learned it somewhere and that's the two coming out as well, I just know what I know. it just, there it is. there's the answer. Cara: Yeah. I mean, you gotta know what works. I think it was, I had this idea, this perception that I was going to be doing all passive type income. You know that I can work when I wanted, I didn't have to be available. That was more it being available because I love the one on one chatting. I mean, I love [01:05:00] having the conversations. I do feel like the toolbox, I have built up with the energy clearing and taking a moment and setting the intention has been a game changer, but I think it's the having to show up when I don't feel like showing up if that makes sense. But I think now that I'm getting to know my body more, I know when I don't wanna show up, I know when I shouldn't do podcast interviews, I know when I shouldn't do those certain tasks. So, you know, you're right. I'm open to it. I think that's the one thing that I need to say is I Rachele: Yeah. Who knows open to possibility. Yeah, I know. I don't know about you, but I put in my schedule when I'm like on my cycle and then I just don't do heavy client days that day. And I also walk in the room and they ask me how I'm doing and I'm honest. And I say, I'm a bit tired today, but I'm here for you. I can still hold space for you and just be honest about it. Right.also you can maybe make it look the way you wanna make it. Look, if you don't wanna set every two weeks at this specific time, this [01:06:00] client, then don't do it that way. Figure out your own schedule. It feels good for you. Cara: It's true. That's what I'm doing. You know, when people ask what I'm doing with my business and I'm like, I don't know, I let my intuition make the calls. It's, very weird and very different than what I'm used to in the past space, but we'll see where it takes me. So our Chiron and TAs. We may be afraid to express what we really want and need in life. This is because we are afraid we won't be supported when we ask. And working on a mindset of deserving to receive our desires, we will develop a powerful healing ability to help others feel more confident. Rachele: bang on Cara: I feel like a lot of that ring true for both of us. I just feel like was, I was like, Rachele: yeah. That's that's bang on. I mean, I think too, that's that comes back to that same voice in my head of like, I think the voice isn't that I'm not worthy. It's like the voice of, sometimes you're not gonna get what you want anyway. So what's the point of asking, like in a way, and now I've had [01:07:00] since understanding the power of manifestation and mindset, I don't let that voice take over anymore, cuz I can be audacious with my dreams and it can happen and I'm open to the possibility of all of it happening. And then some cuz also the flip side of the tourist is like luxury and sensuality and all these beautiful textures of life and you know, really luxuriating in the slowness of things. I almost view that taurus energy, like very like warm and like a hug in a way different than a cancer. as far as like the cancer has a very nurturing vibe to it, but the taurus is just like, yeah, you're safe here. We're grounded. We got this. It's gonna be okay, we'll slow and steady. Trust it. It's gonna be okay. Cara: Yeah. Yeah. My husband and my daughter are both taurus. My husband has so Rachele: Mm. Cara: in his chart and I'm like, oh, you keep me so grounded. You know, I'm like aries fire, like watch out, you know? I'm like, bring me, bring me down a little bit. Rachele: makes sense. Makes sense.[01:08:00] Cara: It, it does,you know, it's weird because I think about, how I did things and who I was, and I of course love that version of me. And, you know, it's very different than who I am now. And just that same thing. It's just like, I have a vision I'm going for it andwhat's the worst someone's gonna say no. Okay. You know, it's like, I used to not ask for things because I was afraid of the no. And it's like, well, I'm more afraid of not asking because what if it's a yes. Rachele: Yeah. Mine was what if I do get it, then what am I meant to do with it? Do I have to give it away? Is it gonna get taken away? Is something bad gonna happen? When's the other shoe gonna drop? Who am I to, ask for it? Like, it was more so those fears of receiving it, that was sort of a block for me in the past as well. And I have to catch myself even now when I'm like wanting to goal set and intention set of just, it's not even deservability, it's just, it's not even worthiness. It's just like [01:09:00] knowing that I'm capable of receiving it and holding it. And not that I have to like rush to, you know, if we're talking money, right. I don't have to rush to spend it just to make sure that no one else takes it away from me. Right. Which is such a common thing, cuz I think, you know, I've experienced a lot of grief in my life over the years and I think that my nervous system is still like, can we trust? It's gonna be all. OK. Like, are you sure? And that's a bit the conditioning from being a three in the first 30 years of my life too, where I'm like, okay, I guess that wasn't the thing in that dance of guess of like non-attachment versus accepting and trusting that you do want it like such an interesting paradox there. Those two terms Cara: Yeah.you're right. Not that we're worthy. It's just being too like a receptive and not feeling like we have to do something to keep it, Rachele: yeah, Yeah. It's stretching our nervous system to be okay with sitting at a new frequency when you receive the thing. And then [01:10:00] recognizing that there's another level that may come to the next thing on another level may come to the next thing, but it's like not kind of jumping backwards when we're scared. Cuz obviously when we expand, the visibility is much bigger, right? The noticeability is much bigger and we have a capacity for much bigger things. And then naturally our brain's like, what are you doing? You've never done this before. You should be terrified. Let's do all the things you've done in the past because that was safe. that kept you small and small is safe instead of big and shiny and bright. And meanwhile it's like the soul is like craving you to go. Let's step into that thing. Right. yeah. Having that faith in yourself,I know you mentioned faith in the beginning, but like, just having faith in the universe that you will be provided protected when you ultimately are true to yourself. True to what you want. Cara: True to how you're built, true to, sharing the love around you and having good intentions. So, Rachele: and on contrast, I get how [01:11:00] that can be really triggering for people if they've never been allowed to even consider that and that trust that comes up. And then that's when sometimes at least I've had to do this with people.Is either a self forgiveness practice, an inner child practice or an anger release practice because yep. Sometimes life really isn't fair. And you need to give voice to that toddler that needs a temper tantrum for a little while. And then you can accept that it's possible that life gets to be easy and gets you get the things that you've asked for. And everything's gonna work out for me, cuz for some people they don't even know how that subconscious programming is running the show. It's so a blind spot as a protection mechanism, right. That you learn so young and then to just go, well, just have faith in yourself, but like screw you. What? It's not that easy. It's not that easy. And it's like, I mean, it can be, but let's give voice to that first ego side of yourself or shadow side or inner child side, whatever you wanna label it as that doesn't. It doesn't make sense to them and we'll give a voice to that voice first. So we'll [01:12:00] clear it other way. Cara: Yeah. And it's all. Our inner child, all our inner teenager, all our adult human being selves, all we want is acknowledgement and to be heard. So let yourself, go feel it, go there when you're ready, because sometimes that stuff is really painful to bring back up. So find that help that support to get you through it. But if you keep having a reoccurring issue, health issue situation, if it keeps coming up and you're doing the same thing every time, like you're gonna have to change it up a little bit, or it's gonna keep coming.You know, what's more painful doing the cycle with it or facing it head on. knowing that you have to kinda acknowledge it, honor it, figure out the best way Rachele: Yeah. Yep. And I'm gonna push my wide open ego center here right now and talk about something I'm gonna promote, even though it's every part of me is like, no, but that's, I'm literally in the midst of creating a guidebook called how to get on stock using your human [01:13:00] design and also with a bonus around an emotional release technique. That really it's our emotions that keep us stuck. And then also our human design. If we don't understand our signature, we don't understand our authority. If we don't understand how we make decisions, we're gonna be stuck because you're gonna keep like you're hitting a wall. Right. So I created this guidebook kind of mixing the two modalities because that's me. I mix a bunch of modalities and make. Extend in the real world, like human design, if you're not embodying it and you're just learning it, you're not really living it. And my goal is to get people to live it so that it feels second nature so that they feel like we've been talking about that intuitive flow state, where life gets to be a bit more useful and a bit more joyful and a bit more satisfactory, successful, peaceful, whatever your ideal signature is. that's what we're working towards in our design. a lot of the process we have to do first is release the emotions in our body that are stuck because often those stuck emotions create a stuck environment in our entire [01:14:00] experience. And most of us have been taught to shut off our feelings, shut off our voice. Rachele: Shut off. That thing. And then we don't realize that maybe there was a reason why mom or dad kind of told us to be quiet in that moment, cuz it wasn't appropriate. But then if we take that into, as we grew up older, if we're never giving voice to our emotions, other than like, when we watch a sad movie or something like that, there's no space for that voice to really feel the feelings, to release it and let it flow through you. Cuz emotions are just energy and motion. And if we give ourselves a bit of freedom to trust ourselves and our capacity to feel life will be so much easier. so much easier if we don't judge it right. And there's obviously there's a time and place for everything. But if you know that you're upset and you're stuck, usually it's something emotional. So the technique in there is all about different types of emotional release steps that you go through. I do it in person with my clients and. it's always transformative at the end. They always say they feel a lot more [01:15:00] peace and more ease and clarity comes. But most of us haven't been taught how to feel a feeling from the start to the end. most of us don't have that education because again, it's just humans raising humans. and if the human that raised, you didn't know that, then they can't really teach that to you. I don't know about nowadays, but when I was growing up, emotional stuff was not taught. I think kids these days are taught a lot of that stuff now in school, which I think is amazing. And to give yourself permission to feel a feeling fully. Is a very vulnerable and intimate thing, but the most healing thing that we can do for our inner child, the most healing thing, and when our inner child feels at peace and at ease, our heart feels at peace and ease. Our body starts to feel at peace at ease. And our higher self is like good for you. You did it. You took care of that part of yourself. That was traumatized because I'm not sure if you heard this, but the first eight years of our lives, we're filtering everything through a lens of emotion, which is usually why so much gets triggered those first eight years of our life. Cuz we have no logic center developed in our brain yet it doesn't get fully [01:16:00] developed till we're 25. So no wonder as kids and teens were so impressionable and everything feels so extreme because it gets filtered through how we feel and we identify with the feeling and then we go, oh, I am bad for being angry. because of my anger is the thing that's not okay. Right. And then it Rachele: just ripples into life going, oh, I'm ashamed for my sadness when it's like, it's okay to be sad sometimes. Like it's normal. You're a human being. Like, if something bad happens, you don't have to swallow and go. Yep. Everything's fine. I'm fine. I'm fine. it's OK. Cara: It is. Yeah. I mean, that's been a huge factor of just honoring my children's emotions and trying to walk them through it, but it's also been one of the most triggering heal, my inner child's situations. And I had someone kind of walk me through healing and aspect of, I guess, traumatic event. I always felt like there was something in my childhood that was affecting me. And it's like, I knew about this event. I never connected the [01:17:00] dots and it was like this event. Was making me feel a certain way with the rest of my family, even though they, they literally had nothing to do with this event, but it was the talking it through it.I finally felt safe enough and, you know, there's all these things and it was just such clarity and I avoided healing that it was a reoccurring over and over situation that kept happening. And then I finally was like, what do I need to do? Because I'm, I'm done dealing with this. And so it'shaving that space and understanding that it keeps happening, you're gonna have to face it and,find that support to walk through it and you'll come out on the other ends and you'll have that tool and you'll toolbox and your inner child will thank you Cara: you this is the thing that working with someone through these things is like, you can't put a price tick on that because sometimes when we don't have that faith in ourself, we need to be with someone who we know we can process these things with, that will hold us while we learn to develop that faith within ourselves and [01:18:00] that resiliency piece. Rachele: And when we're scared to go it alone, to know that you have someone that has your back, who has that unconditional positive regard, and who sees you as your gifts and your talents, and sees a little kid inside of you and honors that kid, even when you can't, that is such the perk of. Working with me or working with someone else. because I get that sometimes in the beginning, you're coming to work with someone because you need someone to support you through it. The inner child often is craving for a parental figure to be like, I just want you to take care of it for me. And so I mean, I have that, I always mix up the numbers, but the 50, 27, I think, or 2057, I always mix up the, but the nurturing one from the Sacre to the, to the spleen. Cara: 50 Rachele: I always mix up the numbers on that one. but people describe it. They feel that safety and that warmth and that nurturing kind of mama bear energy from me. And, and when I read. Channel. I was like, that's how I show up with my clients and they know [01:19:00] that it's safe and sometimes we need that first because it can be really scary because most of us actually felt like you're telling me to do this by myself. All I've ever done is by myself. And so I want the support of someone else to walk me through it. And little do they know that all I'm being is a space holder and a container for them to still do it themselves, right? I'm not codependent feeling. not in a session. I'm not crying their feelings for them. They're doing that for themselves. Right. But to have that safety, to know, like, I'm not gonna let you leave until you feel grounded and secure and you know, you're capable of moving on to the next task in your day or that thing in your day. And we need multiple experiences that to believe in ourself, to know in our capacity. Right? So oftentimes the first few releases with clients are done. Together because they need that person to experience it with them and then they can kind of start to get the strength to realize they can do it themselves. Cara: Yeah. I would've never been able to do that by myself. [01:20:00] No. And yeah, I had to feel safe. I mean, that was exactly it. I mean, my situation was, I was accidentally left home by. Someone and I was four and I just felt scared and unsafe. and so having that safe space, that person to kind of walk me through it. the the craziest part about it was is that I was like, I'm okay being on my own, but it was just the acknowledgement of being that safe space and being able to say it myself, that I am,connected and Iactually like connected with spirituality back then that I that was the case. Cara: So yeah, I recommend if you're gonna do the, the healing, especially the child work, you need someone to walk you through it cuz I can't speak for other people's situations was I'm sure we felt unsafe at some time. And the only way to feel safe is to have that safe space and do that for that. So I'm glad that you have that offering too. where can listeners find that offering that you're telling us about with the healing Rachele: sure. Yeah. Well,[01:21:00] so I work one on one with clients in in multiple different ways. So I offer coaching packages and different kind of,amounts of sessions. And as much as I'd like to put it in a box about what we go through, we go through what's best for you. You know, I don't like telling you, this is exactly the steps that you're gonna go through. I know a general idea and I hold the map to help us keep on track, but ultimately I'm meant to help my clients find their path, whatever that looks like for them. So different coaching packages are options. I also offer, human design embodiment coaching packages. So if they wanna really stay on a target, we. Four to five sessions where we really deep dive into understanding, but then embodying your human design. So that can be a really game changer for people as well. and then I also do some comparison charts. So if you wanna compare your chart to someone in your life, we can talk about that. And then also the guidebook is gonna be on my website as well. so if you just go, I'm [01:22:00] sure it's in the show notes, but Rachelekehler.com it will show all these components. and as a typical. Perpetual entrepreneur that I am. I'm always adding new things into my life and new opportunities. So who knows, what'll all be available by the time this gets aired, because I feel like I'm in the midst of a lot of career transformation right now for myself. And I'm excited to see what comes of it. but I'm am offering a lot of free events as well, so that you can kind of get a feel for me and see if that lands for you. I'm on social media and there's a lot of juicy teaching moments because I have a lot of teacher in me and my human design. And so that's a big part of, of me as I want you to feel like you are learning well also embodying right head and body connection is very important to me and also a sense of safety. sometimes we need to understand it before we can feel it and that's okay. We do it the way that it works for the person. Some people need to dive in the deep end and some people need to dip their pinky toe in and that's okay. Yeah, Rachele: so all of that is yeah. On my website and you can contact me through there. [01:23:00] I also offer a free discovery call if you're really not sure what you need. or if you're not sure what path to take, or you just wanna get a feel or ask me S to questions or ask me any questions. I am also a very transparent coach, I find my biggest aha moments for clients is when I share a bit of my story and that's what is in my design as well. And that's me living up to my Sixth line. Cara: that all sounds wonderful. I think how you coach is just that idea of making it personal for the person. I think that's great. I've seen so many coaches have this specific framework and I'm like, I don't resonate with that at all. I feel like we are all built so differently and,I think that's important that you're doing it that way. AndI know that finding someone that really speaks to you and. That will literally figure out how you operate and turn that into a way to empower you is the best way to kind of work with a coach. So I Rachele: Yeah, Cara: So Rachele: thank you Um,I [01:24:00] just to speak to that, I felt like I used to feel like I needed to have a regime or a specific thing that I took people through. And I think that that can work for some, but then I also just threw out the rule book because I mean, I'm sure you can see it in my birth chart and also in my human design, but I just felt trapped having to put people through a specific program because there's no room for intuition again, to come into play. And there's no room for like what's happening in the now. And the thing is we set goals in the beginning, but don't worry. Every session always circles back to that goal. Anyways, you're always gonna be learning that overarching goal. And my job is to sort of hold the map as you drive the car, you're driving the car, you're in charge of the gas, you're in charge of the brakes, but I'm in charge of the map and I'm here to guide you where I think we should be going. That would help you. And if you're driving off a cliff, I'm definitely gonna grab that steering wheel and steer you back onto the road. But it's, part of the experiment of life. And, I personally was like judging myself, going, well, [01:25:00] you should pick a niche and da, da, da, da. It should look this way and get people in this program and structure. and as I'm sure now, when you're listening to up to this long of me talking that is. Me. I'm not that person. And I was thinking, well, how do I market myself? If I just go, well, I do what's best for you. And I'm here to mirror Rachele: back to you. What's best for you. And I'm not gonna put myself in a box because I'm not gonna put you in a box. So if you help me understand, you I'll help you understand you If that makes sense, it's kinda like this back and forth where I'm just an amplifier of, people's strengths and gifts. that's my gift is seeing their gifts. Cara: Yeah. I think that's amazing. And I think the intuition is the most powerful tool you can have. And so many people don't know how to get in touch with that. And I think exactly what you're doing will help. So many people get in touch with their intuition, especially the ones that are lost because it takes a while it takes. it takes trying to figure out what works for you, but I can tell you that I think[01:26:00] my own personal experience, my human design and my astrology chart and of it, it's all connected and it's really made my intuition come forth. Cara: So Rachele: cause it's just a permission slip to just be yourself then rather than being someone that you think you're supposed to be. Cara: mm-hmm Rachele: Wouldn't the world be a lot easier if we were just like, I know who I am and it's no big deal. It's fine. I'm good. I'm good with me. Everything's all good. This is just Cara: Yep, Rachele: And then we like, so hard on ourselves all the time. Cara: exactly. I think that's it. We put so much pressure on ourselves and at life doesn't Rachele: yeah. Cara: It really doesn't. So Rachele: of us. Cara: I know. Well, thank you so much for joining. I really appreciate you coming on the show. and I know we'll stay in contact and we will chat Rachele: good. Looking forward to it. Cara: Thank you. Thank you so much for joining me this week. If this was your first time. Welcome. And if you joined me for previous episodes, thank you so much for coming back. If you're enjoying the show, I would love for you to leave a five star [01:27:00] review or share with your friend. If you haven't. Yet, those few seconds make a big impact on my podcast and I'd be grateful for the support. I love diving into all things, astrology, human design and anything that can help us step into our power. I enjoyed chatting with Rochelle and all her offerings. Right now. She has a group program called the audacity to be seen coming in October. It's for women who are ready to release their inner nice girl and show up. As a powerful and embodied in their full expression Of their authentic, feminine essence. She also has a free webinar called how to manifest your ideal life. That I'll have the link in the show notes. And of course you can find her on our website and her Instagram. If you want to find out how to connect with her or other links mentioned please check the show notes or you can find them caradempsey.com/24. we'll chat soon